Different Shades of Light
by rainbowishprincess
Summary: T.K. and Kari have always been the perfect couple. Until, that is, Kari begins to see his older brother differently and quite possibly... fall for him? [yamato x hikari]
1. More Than Homework

**AN:** So. This story randomly came up out of no where, suggested by my friend Kris (mentalsunflower on here. promotes for her go check out her stories if you're a HP or Final Fantasy fan! Or Fruits Basket or Cardcaptor Sakura! XD) while we were bored. Yes, it'll be a Kari/Matt. What do you call that? Yakari? Sure. Do I support the ship? No, actually. I like Takari and Sorato/Mimato. And Michi ;D But hey... I'm always up for a challenge. If you truly despise the ship, don't flame me. Don't try to get me to change the shipping either. I get it, they probably would never get together. But it's fanfiction. Embrace it ;D ADDITIONALLY: Dubbed Digimon is the only Digimon I've ever seen. I know all their Japanese names but I'm more comfortable with American ones. As well, I'm not even gonna attempt honorifics. I'd just screw them up. As well, they live in a house. Because I said so. And Mimi is back in Japan, haha.

Done now.

**Disclaimer:** I love purple stewwww. I love purple ste-- erm. I don't own Digimon, so don't sue me. We clear on that? Yay!

* * *

"Kari! Hey, Kari!"

Kari turned around immediately, recognizing the ever so familiar voice. To match the voice was a tall, lean blonde boy with a hat on and impulsively Kari's lips turned up into a smile. He ran over to her, dodging nasty looks from the surrounding teachers.

"Hi, T.K.," she greeted with a smile, her entire face lighting up. "Where were you a few minutes ago? I checked by your locker but no one was there!"

He grinned apologetically, turning on the charm he inherited from his brother. "Well, Mrs. Anako kept me after school for a few minutes. Something about not aiming spit balls." At her incredulous look, he quickly rushed on. "But it wasn't me, promise. It was some other guy who sat behind me." He shrugged. "I'd rather not get into it. So, you have plans?"

She smiled mischievously. "Yes, actually."

T.K. looked crestfallen. "You do?" he asked, trying to ward off the disappointment in his voice.

"Yes, goof!" she looked him in the eye with a big grin. "With you!"

"Oh. Heh, I knew that." Red faintly appeared on T.K.'s cheeks. "Where to? My place?

"Sure!" Kari agreed good-naturedly. "You always have plenty of coke. We _never_ have coke."

"So, you're using me for my coke?" T.K. asked, feigning offense and arching an eyebrow.

"What? No!"

"Just teasing, Kari," T.K. assured her lightly and the two head off for his house.

Kari and TK were both seventeen and now in high school, finally. Their older siblings and friends were done high school but most of them were still milling around Odaiba, trying to make something of their lives. In addition, they had been going out since they were fifteen and as far as Kari was concerned, it was love. She didn't have anything to compare it to, of course but still... she was pretty sure that was the feeling. People often said, _you'll know love when you come across it_ but that just baffled Kari more. She decided go with the L-word anyway even if T.K. hadn't officially exchanged these words with each other.

_It has to be only a small matter of time,_ Kari told herself, happiness pumping into her veins. When they reached outside of the school and got more into the path leading toward his house, Kari's hand started brushing lightly against T.K.s. With a grin, T.K. took it. Any outsider could see what an adorable couple they made. Blonde and brunette, slender frames, the necessary innocence of every couple. Picture perfect with the beautiful clear sky as a frame.

Kari decided that this was nothing short of amazing.

T.K. got out his key to open the door but to his surprise the door was unlocked. "Dad?" he called out, dropping his backpack by the door and walking into the house. "Are you home early?"

"No, loser. It's me," a cool voice told him, appearing from behind the fridge.

"Oh," T.K. said slowly, confusion painted on his face. "Matt. You're home early."

T.K. had moved in with his Dad and Matt a year ago when his Mother got a job in another country. At first she tried to drag T.K. with her but for Kari and all of his friends sake he remained stubborn and finally his Mom made arrangements and he got to stay. Adapting to life living with Matt was ... interesting, to say the least. Getting used to his and his Dad's habits and all those little flaws and perks that you have to learn in order to really live comfortably. But it had been a year since and now T.K. was well adjusted. And hey, he wasn't going to turn down Matt's cooking. Provided they had food in the fridge, that is. But give Matt ingredients and a stove and he came out with a masterpiece. It beat takeout food menus any day.

"Yeah, well, band practice was canceled. Our drummer has the flu," Matt muttered darkly. "Flu my ass. Probably hungover." He sighed and raked his fingers through his treasured blonde locks. "And now we're behind a practice and we got a gig coming up. Not cool."

Kari came up from the stairwell. "Can't you rehearse without him?" she suggested a little timidly, tugging at a bracelet that had been hugging her wrist a little too tightly.

T.K. glanced at Kari, doubt not masked at all in his face. "Uh, Kars, that might be kind of hard."

"No, no, usually we could. But he has a hugeeee part in the one main opening song. We need that as our basis for a lot so it'd be like rehearsing... say, football without the quarterback. Except no backups," Matt explained carefully. Kari awarded him a gracious smile. She knew T.K. didn't mean to but even the slightest of criticism could send Kari into shut-up-now mode, not to mention the fact that Matt intimidated her. Just a little but still, it was there and she knew it was stupid. She was seventeen, he was twenty. Barely anything right? But the thing is, Kari never fully grew out of her shyness.

While Kari had been musing this, T.K. was waving his hand, trying to get her attention. "Kar?" he prompted.

"Oh? Huh?" she snapped out of her zone and glanced at him, flushing slightly. "Woah, sorry about that. So, what do you want to do?" Matt was now digging through the fridge which was miraculously full. He pulled out a few things and started to prepare supper while Kari and T.K. talked.

"We can get started on our homework. I have a lot of English to get through!"

"Sure!" Kari agreed easily. "I do too. Living room?"

"Definitely!"

Matt looked away from the stove and stared at both of them, shades of amusement and disappointment flashing within. "You two are pretty cool. Hang out in a nice, cozy house and instead of making out behind my back you do homework. Pretty fun, kids." He grabbed a can of coke and walked out of the kitchen with a sneaky grin. T.K. just sighed. "What are we gonna do with him?"

* * *

"... So, I'm never going to college. Just looking at the word 'thesis' makes me fear for my life."

Kari lightly swatted T.K. on the arm and smirked while he pretended to be seriously hurt. "Oh, come on! They aren't that bad."

The pencil dropped from T.K.'s grasp and he shook his head at her. "Well, it's not my fault you're too smart for school," T.K. teased.

"Karma," Kari declared. "I'm serious. I used to miss a lot of school and now... well, my head is way above water. It's a nice feeling."

The blonde propped himself up with his elbows and leaned forward from his cross-legged position across toward his girlfriend. His nose tickled hers and the feeling– not the action –made her giggle slightly. Her giggle was soon silenced by a light brush of a kiss. "And no one deserves it more than you," he told her in between feathery kisses. A cough interrupted the peace and they both looked up, irritably. Matt. Of course.

"Hey, you two have a chance of normalcy after all!" he said with a smug grin.

"Matt!" T.K. tossed his pencil and it hit Matt squarely in the cheek. "Mind kindly... going away?"

"Well, I could." He thought about that. "But yeah. No. You can find another spot to–"

"DON'T FINISH THAT SENTENCE!"

Kari was still sitting there awkwardly, blushing. Matt noticed her pink cheeks and raised his eyebrows. "I was kidding Kari, really," he said in a lower voice, knowing how sensitive she was. "Living with T.K. has made me this. But I'll leave, seriously."

She blinked a few times. "What? Oh, no. I don't want to kick you out of your living room or anything..." She looked at the plain grey clock ticking life away that was hanging on the wall directly across her Matt. "In fact, I should be getting home." Kari made a face. "I couldn't miss Tuna Surprise. And trust me, I know the surprise. And the results are not pretty." She got up from the carpeting.

"Why don't you stay? Dad won't be home until late and plus, I'm cooking so..." Matt trailed off, shrugging.

Kari was seriously tempted. She'd easily take Matt's cooking over her Mother's, any day. "Well, I don't want to impose," she began, hesitantly.

"Impose? You could never impose on us, Kars!" T.K. protested.

"I'll call," Kari compromised and dawdled into the kitchen and then picked up the shiny red phone and held the reciever to her ear. She pressed the right numbers and waited for someone to pick up. Probably Tai. He liked picking up the phone a lot, for some odd reason. Probably thinking some scout would call and whisk him to America and make him a soccer star and ...

"Hey, Tai? Oh. No. Mom? Where is Tai? ... At Mimi's? Again? I... nevermind, that isn't the point. I'm at T.K.'s house and Matt is cooking supper so can I stay?" She twisted the phone cord around her finger. "I will. I will. Mom, I'm seventeen! Alright. Thanks. Yeah. You too. Bye." Kari placed the phone back and sighed with a roll of her eyes. She was seventeen and her Mom _still_ thought she was eleven! One day her Mom would clue into this.

Matt came into the kitchen to check on his dinner preparation in time to see her hang up the phone.. "Can you stay?"

"Yeah, I can." She exhaled. "But I hate being treated like a kid. Most seniors can do whatever, whenever. I can't. Tai had bundles of freedom!"

"Tai also pushed for it," Matt reminded her. "Don't take this the wrong way Kari but I get the feeling you're not being too assertive when it comes to curfews and stuff. Tai threw plenty of fits." Matt chuckled slightly, reviewing a particular memory. "And it got him far. If you really want to, just fight for it." He walked past her and shook her shoulders lightly. "Fight to the deaths," he joked and went back into the living room where T.K. was at.

Kari glanced at her shoulder for a few seconds. And then she stopped, came to her senses and sat quietly in between and listened to T.K. and Matt's banter until supper was ready.

They all sat down at the small table and Matt served the food. Kari lightly picked some up with her fork and with hesitance chewed it. "Oh, Matt, this is great!" After Matt swallowed he grinned. "It really is, huh?" he agreed with an arrogant but somehow dashing grin. _How does he manage that?_

T.K. downed some of his milk and turned his head slightly towards his brothers. "So, when is your next gig?" Kari listened intently.

"In two weeks," the older blonde answered with flashes of excitement in his eyes. "It's gonna be killer."

"Can me and Kari come?" Kari bit back the urge to say two things. One) Why did T.K. have to make it sound like she asked him personally to ask Matt? She really didn't. Two) It's 'Kari and I'. But she was just nitpicky that way.

"If you want," Matt shrugged. "Go ahead. You usually never take an interest. When was the last time you caught a gig of ours, anyway?"

T.K. thought about that for a moment. "Uh. A year? You guys have so many of them these days it's hard to keep up!"

Matt scoffed. "Whatever. I'll keep you posted with time and everything, okay, Teeks? Kari?"

Kari nodded quickly and took a healthy bite of her food even if she was already full to the max. She didn't want to waste his food or seem ungrateful. "I... uh... when is your father getting back?" Kari knew he had late hours.

"I don't know, maybe midnight?" T.K. guessed. Kari would have been bothered if either of her parents were away so constantly but she supposed they were just used to it. It was sad but still, they looked fine.

For the next few minutes Kari concentrated heavily on her food and tuned out the sound of Matt and T.K.'s light chatter. A long, slow bite. Swallow. Repeat process. Her stomach was beginning to become queasy when Matt snapped her out. "Kari? Kari?"

This was the second time Kari had zoned out within the last few hours. "Oh, God, I'm sorry. I'm being so rude," she apologized right away.

"No, it's not that," Matt assured her dismissivly. "But when you have to be back? It's already getting dark out." Which was true. It was already October and gone were the summer nights when the light sky disappeared ages after you fell asleep.

A sigh followed a cringe. "I better leave now,"she mumbled and got up from the table. "I can walk. Thanks for supper, Matt. And I'll talk to you later, T.K."

"You're not walking home alone," T.K. objected, collecting all the plates from the table and loading it into the dishwasher. "I'll come," he volunteered.

"Are you done your English?" Kari asked, raising her brow.

"Uh. No," he admitted.

"Then you're not coming. You have to finish! I'll be alright, I swear," she promised, walking into the living room to grab her back pack.

"How about I give Kari a ride home since it's nearly dark anyway and we don't want to get her parents mad? Plus I can see Tai and _you_ can do your English assignment." Matt looked around at the two of them, azure eyes scanning both of their faces for traces of reluctance. "Okay then. You ready, Kari?"

"I guess so." She kind of leaned into T.K. and kissed his cheek– she decided Matt didn't need to see anything else. The smirk was already playing up on his lips.

They both made their way out to this car which was a nice one. But really. As if Matt would have had it any other way. She threw her backpack in the back seat and prepared to crawl in beside it when Matt clucked his tongue. "I won't hurt you, you know."

She rolled her eyes. "I knowwww. I just– okay, I'm coming!" She scrambled into the front seat and folded her hands awkwardly in her lap. Matt turned the radio on softly and suddenly the awkward level seemed to lessen slightly. It was funny how music could make silences bearable. Kari looked out the window, fascinated by the buildings shrouded by the dusk. Matt sang softly to the song playing under his breath and it still wowed Kari how amazing of a singer he was. She had always known this of course. But it never failed to impress her.

She barely took a breath let alone spoke because she was too scared to taint the sound of his voice lightly projecting in the car. She sincerely wished to have musical talent but she'd have to deal with listening to it. Not like she minded. She may have felt a little uncomfortable but hearing Matt sing?

She didn't mind that at all.


	2. Awkward Encounters

**Authors Note: **Yayyy! I got reviews for a story I'm sure would get... uh, zero. Haha. With the exception of that KoumiLoccness or whatever. Dude. Chick? Get a life, ASAP! Thanks. Signed, your conscience. AKA ME. I could do that really spiffy thing where I reply to each reviewer. But I'm too lazy. Haha. Maybe next chapter. And yes, I know this is a short chapter. Sorry! But it was either quicker updates or longer chapters so... yeah. I promise the next one will be longer. And if anyone has suggestions or plot ideas that they'd like thrown in, suggest them! I might just use it.

**Disclaimer:** Seriously. No Digimon ownage from me. Though I wish. Oh, I wish.

---

_Jeez, I'm thirsty. _

Kari had been reading steadily for the last hour or so, consuming the words that were laying so plainly on the paper. She never had been able to understand why people despised reading. It was so... amazing. Not amazing, really. But it was nice to just disappear into another world for a while. Sometimes real life just wasn't interesting enough.

Giving into her craving she got up from her bed and had to cross the living room in order to get to the kitchen. The T.V. was blaring some old movie that as far she could see, contained explosions and guns. Did she expect anything else?

"Kari! Shouldn't you be asleep! It's a _school_ night." Tai and Matt were both sprawled on the couch. When Matt dropped her off, he walked her up the apartment like a perfect gentleman and Tai persuaded him to stay for another couple of hours. Matt finally agreed and here he was, an hour later.

Kari gave his brother a withering look and pointed to the clock with an _this-is-so-lame_ look on her young face. "It's nine-thirty!"

"So get to bed!"

"I'm seventeen!"

That jolted a response out of Tai. "You're seventeen?" he yelped incredulously. "What the hell?"

_Are you serious..._

Matt and Kari each exchanged a glance. "Are you taking this one or am I?" Matt asked with a wink.

"Go ahead,"she grinned.

"I'm gonna tell you a story, okay, Tai?" He talked slowly as if his friend was a small child. "Last year, you were nineteen. In return, Kari was sixteen. You aged a year. Following the natural order of life, Kari aged as well... do you need me to go on?"

"Oh, shut up," Tai muttered darkly. "Mom and Dad are sleeping– you could follow their example."

She suppressed a sigh. "You could have too but you started rebelling about ten seconds into your first year as a teenager. I can't tell you how many times I woke up in the middle of the night– on school days, like these ones– and you were awake still!"

"But that's different!" Tai insisted stubbornly.

"Can you two give it up?" Matt suggested calmly. He was always calm, Kari noticed, except for the occasional fist-fights and explosions. But that expression on his face was unnerving. Unchanging. It was a skill and she wondered exactly how he managed it.

Without another word she turned around and stalked into the kitchen. Tai might have been her older brother but he still had a lot of growing up to do.

Temporarily she forgot what her original quest was but as soon as she coughed and felt her dry throat it came back to her. Something to drink. Heaving a sigh, she opened the fridge and got out a carton of milk. She started to close the fridge but on second thought opened it back up abruptly and put it back in and when that action was moved, she heard a colorful word.

"O-oh, sorry!" she stuttered without even seeing the victim. Turning ever so slightly Matt came into plain view, rubbing his eyes. "You could seriously hurt someone with that weapon of yours."

"It's a fridge," she retorted. "How much of a weapon could it be? It's very unhandy, unlike say..." she trailed off, at a temporary loss for dangerous weapons that could fit into her pocket.

A slow smile spread on his face. "Don't be getting any ideas, Kari," he drawled in that... _way_ of his. Blinking for a second, she finally got the ever brilliant idea of moving so he could get what he needed from the fridge. She closed it hurriedly (though carefully and slowly) and tried to escape to the side. Matt was, however unintentionally, in her way.

She froze. Matt froze. And they were both frozen in place in probably the most awkward position known to man.

"Uh..." she croaked out, not moving.

"This is interesting," he said cheerfully, not moving even though unlike her, he had the option to and was not trapped into his spot.

She inspected his eyes (piercingly blue), his hair (silky looking) and his skin (flawless) in about the span of ten seconds. _Him and T.K. look so much alike. Tai and I do too. But we're siblings... Kari, what are you thinking about? Of course you're siblings. That's why you look alike. Sheesh!_

"So. Are we gonna stay semi-entwined like this, or what?" His voice was teasing her but still, it was rather endearing. She knew that he was being nice about it. For some reason her self esteem didn't crush as usual. Matt was different. In some way.

"Well," Kari began. She tried to inch off but Matt's arms were pressing against hers and grasping firmly onto the fridge handle. Her arm was overtop that arm and the rest of her was pressed against the fridge, her air seriously running out. Matt's second arm was on the fridge too, caging it in and creating a compromising looking situation.

"You know, if Tai came in here, I don't think he'd be so pleased!" Kari told Matt, fighting to keep the grin off his face.

"I wouldn't be so pleased about WHAT?" Tai's voice boomed through the wall.

Matt's arms snapped back to his sides as if Tai had just walked into the room and his back stiffened. Kari took this opportunity to shrink off, completely forgetting about a drink.

"Kari?" Matt's voice interrupted her getaway.

She turned, ever so slowly. "Yes?"

"I was just playing."

"MATT! IT'S BACK ON!"

Kari looked from the wall to Matt. "I know," she replied with a casual sort of elegance. _I never said I minded._

Matt grabbed a bag of chips that were sitting on the counter and inched past Kari and toward the living room. "Good."


	3. Triple Date Trouble

**Authors Note:** Third chapter. I won't give up on this, I swear! At least, I hope. I mean, my friends writes me a story and forces me to write this so she writes a chapter because I'm kind of deficient when it comes to writing chapter stories. Hah. But I'm trying to expand my horizons, so yeah. BTW, Jyourawhateveryouare? Please stop resorting to EMAILING me. -eye roll- Thanks. And Ally's last name means fake in Japanese. I looked it up xD

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anyone. Except for Matt.

MATT: -cries- Let me out of this cage!

* * *

"Hiiii, T.K." Both T.K. and Kari were sitting at their usual lunch table with Davis and one of their other friends, Suki. The voice heard was sickeningly sweet– literally. It sounded like candy dripping from her voice. Sugary sweet death by words.

They all turned to look.

"Ah. Ally. Hi." The fake, sugary voice belonged to the most fake, most sugary girl in school. Ally Gansaku. The type of girl who dresses in all pink and carries around a cell phone even though she hangs out with the people she talks to every waking moment possible and says "like" obsessively.

"Can I like, please sit down?" And without waiting for an answer, that is exactly what Ally did.

"Uh–" T.K. started helplessly, glancing at Kari for help. His eyes conveyed only one message: HELP!

"So, T.K., how are you?" Ally oozed purposefully ignoring the others at the table, leaning forward to rest her head on her chin and batted her eyelashes that from where Kari was sitting looked disgusting and clumpy.

"Fine... and... yourself?" He answered and asked slowly, feeling as if he was on display. Kari couldn't blame him– Ally was watching his _every_ move, inspecting his every detail. That had to feel at least a little uncomfortable. Or a lot. Yeah, definitely the latter.

"Oh, perfect. Is how you are. And I! You know, we make a perfect team! And speaking of which, I'm open Saturday night. How about you take me out then?"

Kari nearly choked on her sandwich. "What?" she cried, coughing throughout the word, somehow extending it into four syllables. T.K. looked trapped.

"Uh, dude, he _has_ a girlfriend! Remember _Kari?_" Davis pointed out helpfully, sucking up some pudding as he went along.

"Oh." Ally's face hardened and she looked slowly from T.K. to Kari, making sure her eyes narrowed when they met Kari's. "Oh, I see." She got up. "Well, maybe next time, right?" Ally chirped, going back to her candy-topped ways. Kari couldn't quite decide which was better- Sugary Ally or Venom Ally.

"And have fun with Kari, Teeky," Ally cooed behind her shoulder as she was walking away. "Try to, at least." And with a final wink, she disappeared.

"What is _wrong_ with her?" Kari frowned. "I'm not that boring am I?"

"You're the opposite of boring," Suki assured her, taking a drink of her water. "Don't let her get to you- she has a crush on T.K. and she's trying to get under your skin." Kari cast a glance at T.K. again who looked genuinely freaked out. He opened his mouth to say something but before he could, Davis cut in.

"Man, that chick is CRAZY! Even when I liked Kari I wasn't that freaky."

Kari couldn't help it- she burst into giggles.

"What?" Davis demanded. "I _wasn't_!"

She winked at him humouringly. "I never suggested that you did. But Davis, you were a little nutty sometimes."

T.K. finally seemed to recover from the disturbance and shock of the Ally encounter. "Yeah! Remember that one time, you thought she was scared and you grabbed her hand..."

".. except it was actually yours?" Kari finished, biting back a smile. "I do."

Davis's tanned face flushed a fiery red. "I don't remember, I guess it must not have happened!" he insisted stubbornly. "I wouldn't grab T.K.'s hand. Ever." Suki sat back and watched the entire scene, amused. She, of course, wasn't a part of all these rad sounding inside jokes but hearing about them seemed like more than enough.

"Whatever you say. Oh, hey, Kari are you up for something tonight? Matt's going out so if I stay home I'll be stuck with the dishes." He turned his thumb down. "Bleccch."

"Of course! I mean, it'd be nice if you wanted to take me out for the sake of taking me out..."

"Not what I meant!"

"I know, I know. I'm just teasing."

"It's all set then. I'll come around at about seven, okay? And we can decide on what to do from there." T.K. leaned back in his chair, satisfied. Kari smiled and Davis looked disgusted. "Yeah, well, you two aren't the only ones who can have fun!" He looked at Suki and ran a finger through his spiky hair. "So, Suki, are you–."

"Davis?" she interrupted. He stared at her. "Not happening."

The entire table erupted into laughter. Except for Davis, of course. He was concentrating on not letting his skin flush a fire-hydrant red.

* * *

The air was just nice enough for the current time- 7:00 exactly. T.K. had been early and therefore, they left early. They were wordlessly trailing along the dusty roads. It wasn't an uncomfortable silence, however. They were secure enough with each other that they could in fact stay muted and it didn't matter. They just enjoyed the moment. 

That's when Kari started her thought process. Give her silence- any silence -and there pours out the thoughts in her brain, a mile a minute. Homework, Suki, Davis and the lunch incident, _Matt._

Wait a minute? How exactly had Matt managed to snake his way into her thoughts? She shook her head and rubbed her temple. Probably because T.K. and Matt looked so impossibly alike. Same hair color, eyes, skin, features. And naturally, she saw him all the time plus Tai was a constant reminder...

Why did she feel so bad about Matt popping into her head. It's not like it meant something.

Did it?

Oh. _Now_ she was being ridiculous. Suddenly very eager to break the silence, she spoke up. "So, what are we doing anyway? We better get some sense of where we're going– I'm a slow walker."

"Uh, actually, that I didn't plan. I'm really up for anything. Movie? Dinner?" As if on cue, his stomach rumbled loudly. With a sheepish smile, he clutched his stomach. "The latter is definitely preferable."

"Dinner is perfect," Kari smiled. "That new pizza place is just around the corner. We can go there?" T.K. seemed to be practically salivating at the thought of warm, gooey pizza. "I'm game. Okay, I'm the home run _during_ the game. Pizza sounds awesome."

"You're so silly," she told him with a slight giggle as they rounded the corner and moments later, they walked into the pizza parlor and were immediately knocked down (not literally, of course) but the mouth watering aroma of pizza in the air. Kari's stomach immediately tightened and cried out for food but a table full of people soon distracted her.

"I'm ready to order. Kari?"

She blinked. "Huh? Oh... pardon?"

His forehead wrinkled and he followed the direction of where she was looking. "Kari, what were you looking at...?" And then he saw it too. And slapped his forehead. "Ooh no," he moaned. "You've _got_ to be kidding me."

At the booth, a girl with pink hair looked across and squealed. "T.K.! KARI!" Everyone at the booth swirled around and looked at them. Tai, Matt and Sora being the everyone. Sora grinned and Tai and Matt looked like they could have alternated turns banging their head into the booth table.

"You guyyyyys!" Mimi called out to them. "Come sit with us!"

"Mimi!" Tai hissed, rubbing his forehead. "No. Way."

"Aw, Tai, _pleasssseee?_" Mimi cooed. He rolled his eyes but was unable to resist that sugary voice that lured him in every time. "Fine," he muttered. "But they don't get any of our pizza!"

T.K. and Kari exchanged glances, T.K.'s very doubtful indeed. "Well, should we?"

"Why not!" Kari bubbled. "This'll be fun. We're coming, Mimi!"

T.K. sighed. "Okay. But they don't get any of our pizza." They quickly went to order their pizza and moments later, they returned to wait for it and approached the booth. The seating arrangements were Tai and Mimi on one side and Matt and Sora on the other. Both girls were closest to the wall and the guys on the outside. T.K., not wanting to be in such close quarters with his brother immediately seated himself next to Tai so Kari suppressed a sigh and slid in beside Matt.

These booths were mainly meant for two people per side so while it wasn't a deathtrap, it was pretty squished and every movement Kari made she brushed up against Matt so her solution was to just not move.

"Kari?" Sora prompted. "Are you still alive?"

Kari nodded quickly. "Yeah, just... thinking," she improvised.

"All you ever do is think!" Tai told her. "Your brain needs to take a vacation."

"And I'll get on that when yours comes back- we need to have a functioning brain between the both of us."

Matt chuckled, a deep sound in this throat that was all too pleasing to hear. "If that's the case, Kari will never be able to put her brain on vacation- Tai's has been gone for _years!_"

Kari grinned. "My brain likes staying out and working, thank you very much."

"You're insane, Kar." Kari blinked at the sudden nickname. Kar. Nice ring to it.

"I know, but it's a good thing I guess." She smiled at Matt and before Matt could reply, T.K., who was surveying the scene, busily jumped it. "Insanity is _definitely_ good."

"But when people like Tai overruse it..."

Harmless banter ricocheted from couple to couple for the next hour or so and Kari couldn't quite decide is these cramped quarters with Matt were uncomfortable or not. I mean, sure, he had a nice body and...

_Stop. Your. Train. Of. Thought. NOW._

Kari obeyed it mind and focused on the slice of pizza she had been working on for a good half hour. The next time Matt shifted and their bodies were forced to graze together, she got up impulsively. "I- I- uhh, have to go the bathroom. Be right back!" And with a godly speed, sped to the bathroom.

Heaving a big sigh, she stared at the mirror which mocked her by projecting a flushed, disassembled girl. Turning on the tap, she splashed water in her face. What was _wrong_ with her? What was she even DOING? She didn't even know.

Regaining her composure, she leaned against the bathroom wall for a moment until someone else barged in, gabbing on a cellphone and throwing dirty looks her way. Quickly straightening up, she left the bathroom and slowly went back to the booth where the seating arrangement had changed. Surprised, she observed Matt, Mimi and Tai all sitting on side with T.K and Sora on the other. Relieved to not have to sit close to Matt any more, she slid in next to Sora which was still a tight fight but hey... it was Sora, it didn't matter.

"Why the new seating plan?" Kari asked, after swallowing down some of her drink.

"Tai kept elbowing me!" T.K. complained, mock-glaring at Tai. "So, I went and sat by Sora, which is safe. And then I kicked her boyfriend out of his spot on this side."

"Oh, no, we're not–"

"She isn't my girlfriend–"

"We're friends," Sora concluded. "But _these_ lovebirds here..." she gestured to Mimi and Tai. "Wanted someone to come along for pizza." Mimi giggled, Tai shoved his head into his hands. "I hate you, Sora."

"Liar! Who'll play soccer with you on the weekend, huh?" she challenged.

"Shut up," he muttered but decided to take his own advice. Kari just laughed, feeling much more comfortable. Until she indeed did feel something... tickling... her foot. It wasn't _Mimi. _And it couldn't be T.K. he was way on the other side of Sora. And Tai was her brother. And it couldn't be Sora, the tickling came from across the booth. Her eyes widened as she watched Matt wolfishly grin to himself.

_Oh. My. GOD. OHMYGOD OHMYGOD OHMYGOD MATT IS PLAYING FOOTSIES WITH ME._

Struggling not to hyperventilate she buried herself into another slice and allowed her foot to be savagely attacked by his until she slipped and bent down to scratch her knee. The movement jerked her foot up and Matt suddenly looked horrified.

_Oh my God, oh my GOD! He probably thought I was Sora!_

Kari cringed and Matt slapped his forehead.

"Uh- what's going on?" Tai interjected.

"Nothing," Matt said quickly. "Come on, we better go. Rehearsal early tomorrow." Kari said nothing as the older teenagers grudgingly got up and left. She nibbled on her pizza.

"I guess we might as well go too," T.K. shrugged.

"Okay," Kari slowly agreed, after a few blinks. _By the way, T.K.? Your brother accidentally played footsies with me. And know what? It felt good. And that's bad. I'm HORRIBLE._

Thoughts swirled around in Kari's head as hand in hand, T.K. and her walked home. _If he was attempting to play footsies with Sora... is he really going out with her?_

The thought upset her much more than it should have.


	4. A Weird Sort of Non Fight

**Authors Note:** God, I suck. I'm so sorry for taking over a month. But like I said, I suck at writing chapter stories. It's still something I'm getting used to. Anyway, the next chapter should be longer and hopefully quicker. But hey, on the bright side, I don't take like, six months to update? Even if my chapters are short. Hah. That's okay. Right? Yes. Reviews are prone to make me go faster. Every time I get one, my muses strengthen.

* * *

_"... You're a liar. A filthy, dirty liar!"  
"Who's the one who went behind my back about the tabloid?"  
"You're lying! I hate you!"_

Two days after the triple date debacle, Kari and T.K. were at Kari's house and after long, tired moments of ushering her parents out of the living room they settled in front of T.V. after school. T.K. was pretending to be bored out of his mind, yawning at the screen which was playing a cheesy soap opera filled with people who had an I.Q. approximately negative three when really he was interested. Eyes not leaving the screen, he soaked in every word like he was a soap-opera sponge. In a way, he was. It was his guilty pleasure so whenever he hung out with girls and watched T.V he changed the channel to a soap opera one and pretended to do it for the girl's benefit. Really, it was the other was around.

Soon though, the commercials rolled on and of course those took about ten minutes so T.K. took the opportunity to chat up about how lame and stupid soap operas were and how he only put up with it for Kari's sake. You know, just to maintain his mascuality. But he found when he was the only one watching and Kari in fact, was zoned out, eyes directed _toward_ the TV but not really _at_ it, he flicked it off. _I guess I'll never find out how this ends._

"Kari?" T.K. prompted. No reaction. It was like she was a zombie. "Kari? Hikari? K-k-k-kari?" This continued on for a few minutes. "HEY!" She finally blinked rapidly and looked at him slowly. "Hi," she said sweetly, hoping to mask the fact that she was totally daydreaming. He didn't fall for it.

"What was that?"

"What was what?"

T.K. looked impatient. "I've been calling your name for the last minute. Have you been paying a bit of attention?"

Kari glanced down at her lap sheepishly, averting her boyfriends eyes. "I have a lot on my mind," she mumbled.

"Like?" T.K. prodded, quirking an eyebrow. Kari exhaled heavily. "Does it _matter?_" she snapped back hastily. The blonde looked taken aback and she sighed. "I'm sorry. It's just– like I said, I have a lot on my mind." _And you prodding isn't making anything better,_ she added silently.

"Why won't you just tell me?" he frowned, leaning into the couch and further away from Kari.

"Because somethings are personal, Matt!"

Whoops.

"Matt?" he repeated, a scowl on his face. "I meant T.K.!" she blabbered on quickly. "I was just, you know, thinking about that double-triple date thing and something Matt said and then the blonde hair and it just came out!" The fact that she seemed so desperate and hasty only made T.K. more suspicious.

Truthfully, Matt had been on her mind. And the question that had been burning her mind since that fateful date was :_was he going out with Sora or not?_ It wasn't any of her business, this she knew But it didn't stop her from simply wondering. They both said they weren't but who plays footsies (or at least attempts to) with someone they don't even like? Unless Matt was just like that.

What was Matt like? She realized, she didn't know. Well, she knew. But she didn't. As far as she could tell, however, he was caring... nice. Killer cook, amazing bassist and singer. Protective, strong. Friendly...

Why was she listing off all of Matt's amazing qualities while her boyfriend glowered at her? She shook her head. This was crazy.

"School has me stressed," she said finally.

"Oh," T.K. said simply, blinking a bit with his nose scrunched up. He didn't look like he believed her. That infuriated Kari. Weren't relationships all about _believing?_

"Don't believe me if you don't want to then," she said huffily.

"Hey, I'm not the one zoning out!"

"Excuse me for having an imagination and daydreaming occasionally. I don't plan to, you know, it just happens! And what does this have to do with anything?"

"I didn't say you can't daydream!" T.K. vented. "I'd just like to be reassured that you know, I could actually talk to my girlfriend once in a while without having to repeat myself fifty times."

"Agh! You're being impossible!" Kari told him and stood up promptly from the couch. She was shorter than him but since T.K. was still sitting down, she reveled in her height advantage. Until he stood up too.

"You've been a complete space cadet this entire week! What's _wrong?_"

"Nothing is wrong!"

"It doesn't seem that way to me."

Kari took a long breath, trying to calm herself. Why was T.K. being so irritating? Why was _she_ being so irritable? It was so out of character for both of them. Yet Kari couldn't stop herself.

"You don't know as much as you think you do then," she retorted. "Because I am F-I-N-E."

T.K. pounded at his temple before exploding, "Why are you _being_ like this? Let's just..." he shook his head. "Get some ice cream or something." She sank back into the couch again and he did the same, hoping for relief from this sudden non-fight type thing.

"Just give me some space!" T.K.'s eyebrows hit his hairline. "Space?" He rose from his position and slid to the other end of the couch. "Is _that_ enough space?"

"No! You call me every day so many times and you're always at every corner at school and I need space to breath sometimes!"

"You've _never_ minded before!"

"Well, I guess it's getting to me now," she sniffed. Jeez, something really was wrong with her.

The blonde's eyes were flooded with hurt but he tried not to show it. He neared toward her again and her cheek, softly. Like he always did. With that special human touch and she'd always melt into him when that happened. But this time, she was stone cold. T.K. swallowed. "Kari..." he began softly.

Kari pulled away from him right away. "No," she shook her head. "I've– I've got to go."

"It's your house!" T.K. reminded her, eyeing her weirdly.

"Then you have to go," Kari insisted. "I can't– please. Just go."

"Kari!" T.K. protested, showing no signs of movement.

"I need to be alone right now," she said softly, sniffling. "I'm in a... a bad mood. If you care about me, please leave."

T.K. was confused. What exactly was going on? He didn't want things to be awkward between them but he had to go along with Kari's wishes. Not that he knew exactly what this fight thing was. It started with soap operas and evolved into something that NEVER happened between them. They were the couple that never fought. But... he couldn't very well just stay and not leave her house.

Wordlessly, he turned to leave.

* * *

T.K. wiped his forehead after he got out of the apartment building. Was he really being too pushy? Was he not giving her enough space? He'd liked Kari since he was eleven. And he always dreamed of being her guy, her boyfriend. And he was always scared he'd be too smothering, posessive. That kind of boyfriend. She had just confirmed his worst fears. 

_Give me some space._

He'd give her space alright. He decided not to approach her until she did first. Not out of spite or anything because despite this fight type thing or whatever it could be classified as, he still loved Kari.

Woah. Love. What a new concept. Not one he'd really indulged himself in before. Him and Kari never spoke the words, not to each other. But it didn't mean they didn't actually love each other. This was just a semi-fight. A rift. It meant nothing. Just a test to their usually all-perfect relationship. He had faith it'd hold through. He had hope.

And hope always got him by.

But he still had a bad feeling that he couldn't shake off.

* * *

Kari was completely baffled by herself. What had T.K. done at all to constitute her anger like that? Yes, she had plenty of tests coming up but to just completely fly off the handle and snap at him like that was horrible. And so not her. Kari was the golden girl, never speaking a harsh word type. She was the light in situations; it was her crest, for God's sake. It wasn't T.K.s fault at all. Something had just snapped inside of her. Her Mom always warned her about this. 

"_Kari, if looks could kill, that glare of yours could surely take anyone down."_

The fact was, up until today, Kari's angered always was silent. If someone royally made her mad, she wouldn't yell or anything. Polly Politeness, that'd be Kari. She'd be really nice but the temperature in the room would go down drastic degrees.

"_Sometimes, when you're mad, I wish you'd say something. One day all that pent up anger is going to boil to the surface and explode."_

That's what happened. She let the anger of everything surface through and erupt on someone completely undeserving of it. She needed space is what she said? She had enough space to be constantly lost. She made it seem like T.K. was some stalker when all he ever did was be a good boyfriend. And she YELLED at him for being a good boyfriend!

A pit in her stomach opened up.

And then she called him Matt? Where did that come from? But it was just a simple slip up, it could happen to anyone. She was thinking about the Pizza Parlor so it was only natural. If she had been thinking about say, Mrs Anako, she could have said, "Because somethings are personal, Mrs. Anako!" And that was that.

But no matter what she tried to tell herself, she absolutely could not shake the pit that had opened its jaws. She was well accustomed to them: they bubbled up when she felt guilty and would only go away when she resolved whatever guilt she felt. Well, this pit also existed about the week she was certain T.K. would ask her out but since you know, they were going out still (hopefully) it wasn't that. It was the guilt thing.

She'd resolve it. Tomorrow. Yes. It was a Friday and T.K. usually had plans with her Saturday afternoons so he'd probably be free. She'd surprise him at his place and make it all better. With this bit of reassurance to herself, she expected the pit to shrink.

But it didn't.


	5. Stupid Minds and Stupid Hearts

**Authors Note:**How many of you thought I'd never update again? You can all feel free to shoot me. I suck major ass, I KNOW! But chapter stories plus me equals not a very good combo. I'M SORRRRRY! This chapter is a few pages longer than I usually make them for the immense wait -.-;; And I have, you know, some kind of plot advancing type things. I think. I suck at this. REVIEW, FOR SERIOUSLY. The more reviews I get? The more I'll be inspired to update. No lie. Okay. I love you. Don't hate me, read and REVIEWWWWWW.

**Disclaimer:** Eh, too lazy. You know it.

* * *

_Okay. You CAN do this, Kari. You can. You can. You can. Don't be chicken. Quick and painless, you can do it._

Except for the inevitable: this would not be quick and in turn, definitely would not be painless.

For the last hour, Kari had been pacing around the empty apartment building, mentally debating with herself. She had to visit T.K. and set it all right because if she didn't? School was going to be horrible, not to mention if Matt came over again like he seemed to be doing so often lately. A nervous flutter surfaced in her stomach at the thought of Matt's name but she dismissed it as dread. No doubt he would completely hate her for picking a fight with T.K. because Matt would undoubtedly side with his brother.

Oh gosh, she thought miserably. Is this what it had become? A tiny little fight and suddenly there were sides? No, not yet. But if she kept putting this off…

She was back at the door. And the door had a round little doorknob attached that absolutely mocked her. Twist me, it screamed. Open me. Apologize!

"ARGH!" Kari let out, her frustration spilling out in the form of an aggravated shriek. Miko, her cat that had been faithfully trotting alongside of the tall girl, looked alarm and scampered away hurriedly.

"Great," she murmered and dared her hand to meet the doorknob. This had to be done. Had to, had to, had to.

She twisted the door knob open.

_Good job_, she mentally praised herself. _And now? Step out._

Obediently, she stepped out. Good. She was making progress.

* * *

T,K. leaned against the wall in the stairwell, his heart jack hammering. Okay, so maybe yesterday he promised himself he wouldn't go apologize or say anything to Kari until she had enough space or whatever it was that she needed but he decided to break that promise. It was just to himself, after all. And besides, he wasn't sure he could go another night without making things right. Last night had been horrible. His dream was so terrible and nerve wracking that he woke up, drenched in sweat. And he only ever had nightmares when he went to bed extremely upset.

What if Kari got mad again and complained he wasn't respecting her space? Was this inappropriate?

Maybe. But he at least had to try. It would be short and sweet. An apology, hopefully a hug and kiss and then he'd be gone. Yes, yes. Space. He could do it.

Finding new confidence, he dragged himself outside of his place and walked down the street, barely looking at anything around him. A tree. A bird. A girl across the street, bent down and tying her shoe. No, he didn't pay any attention.

T.K. rounded the corner. All would be good soon.

* * *

Kari popped back up from tying her shoe. Okay, just a small obstacle on the way to Matt's. Wait. What? Since when was it called Matt's In all her sixteen years of living, she had never, ever called it Matt's. It was always T.K.'s. Or the Takashi/Ishida's. Or Matt and T.K's. But never…

_Stupid_, she scolded herself. She didn't have time to worry about such trivial things. She held her breath and tried to channel all the courage she knew she had but was desperately escaping her now.

Knock knock.

Oh God. She had done it. No turning back. No turning–

"Hey," a cool voice said, not without surprise though.

A little army of butterflies unleashed in stomach and for a minute, she couldn't breathe. She had to clear her throat three times to talk. "Is… uh, T.K. there?" Her eyes dropped downcast to her fingernails.

_Look at him!_ She scolded herself. It wasn't as if he was a sore sight. Oh no. Sore sight? Matt? He hadn't been the most popular boy in highschool by being ugly. In fact, he was kind of really handsome.

_Omigosh,_ Kari thought, panic-stricken and horrified at her thoughts. She blushed all the way down to her toes and she knew Matt noticed.

"Actually, you just missed him," Matt informed her, "He went out to see someone or other. I don't really keep track."

"Oh," she said quietly, dejected. He was already out visiting random people and having fun? While she was milling around and sitting at home like a chump feeling, oh, you know, _bad_? What was WRONG with that picture? While these thoughts raced through her mind, she wasn't aware how awkward it was for the two to be standing there like that. Matt noticed.

"Uh... you want to come in? He told me he wouldn't be long so I might as well save you the trip. I still have some lunch made, if you're hungry."

"We-ell," Kari started, trying to ignore her jack hammering heart, "I mean... well, I am hungry." Her brown eyes glanced up into his blue ones and she looked so sweet Matt could barely stand it.

"Only if it isn't an inconvenience to you or something..."

Matt sighed. "It's not an inconvenience, Kari. Chill, alright? Come on in." He led her inside and toward the tiled kitchen, shaking his head. Kari was always so polite but it was charming, in it's own way. Though she was sixteen already (it was crazy to think her and his brother had already aged that much, it made him feel old) it gave her a child-like innocence. A naive existence, though he knew that she was a wildcat inside, waiting to come out. Though still, she was so self-contained mostly. It was hard to believe she shared Tai's DNA.

"Thanks," Kari said gratefully, unconsciously appraising Matt's arms. He was wearing a wife beater and it was oddly attractive. He had nice arms, she noted. Very nice.

"Oh, no problem," Matt responded, dismissively. "So, why the urge to see T.K. anyway?"

Kari's eyes widened slightly in surprise. "He didn't tell you? We... well, we had a fight. Thing. A fight thing, sure." As she sat down on the slightly worn couches she was so familiar with, Matt could recognize how uncomfortable she was. But that didn't stop him from probing. T.K. was his brother– Matt _deserved_ to get to know these things.

"When did it happen, anyway?" Matt joined the couch she was on beside her, his long, guitarist fingers automatically tracing the stains and rips on the couches that he had come to know so well.

"Well..." Did he have to sit so close? Technically he wasn't close at all but to Kari, he was so near her she could barely breathe. This seriously put a damper in trying to sound coherent and produce something other than mumbles. "Y-yesterday." Why? _Why_ was she so breathless? She had sat by Matt a hundred, thousand times and it had never mattered, never rose such a strong feeling internally. Something wasn't right here.

Without Matt even asking for details, she babbled on nervously.

"I mean, I was zoning out... and he just seemed so, you know, _clingy._ And when I tried to tell him I needed space it all just sort of... erupted." The reality of her words set in. It had erupted and no matter what she tried to tell herself, it wasn't his fault. At all. Why did she have to be so bitchy toward him yesterday? She rarely was. Never.

No, something had set her off.

Or, minus T.K., someone.

... Wait. What?

Shaking that thought off, she lost control of her head and it slipped forward, right into her hands which were curved in slightly, made to catch them.

"I am _so_ stupid!" she cried, though her outburst was deeply muffled by her hands. "Here I have this perfectly nice boyfriend and I yell at him for no reason! What is wrong with me?"

"Hey!" Matt cut in, his voice sharp. "Nothing, _nothing _is wrong with you. You had a bad day maybe, and a stupid little fight. I doubt it was very major, okay?" His hand crept over to Kari's shoulder and the feeling of being breathless rushed back to her.

"Quit beating yourself up over it. Couples get in fights all the time but it never actually means anything. It's human nature to disagree. You are amazing, Kari, but you're only human. And humans have their own opinions and annoyances."

Kari wasn't sure what to think first- that, wow, Matt called her amazing! Factor or... wow, he's so eerily right.

First things first.

_Amazing? I'm amazing? Matt thinks I'm amazing? Why do I care? And why is he so wise and smart and... wise and smart?_

"I– thanks, Matt," she settled on quietly. "I never really... thought of it that way. I guess me and T.K. are fine then, huh?" The smile that she projected wasn't 100 percent genuine and she couldn't exactly pinpoint why.

"I guess," he agreed, kicking away the uneasiness that came with the feeling. His eyes locked into Kari's at that precise moment and for that time frame, nothing else existed. Her honey eyes looked deep into his clear, blue orbs and he felt a connection. A click. A something that had never existed before but in that one moment, made sense. Made so much sense that he questioned why he had never let it surface before.

The phone rang.

The noise, the loud, irritating, startling noise snapped them both out of whatever daze they had been trapped into and shared. Kari was sure her heart had jumped up her throat. A ring had never seemed so emphatic, never scared her so much. Not to her recollection.

Obviously, Matt was much more collected than her because by the time the phone had dangled into it's second ring, he had snatched it up.

"Hello?" he rasped into the receiver, his breath caught in his throat. "Ooh. Hey, Sora."

Kari had been listening with mild interest up until this point. Up until she heard Sora's name and the awkward footsies debacle and the whole he-had-to-have-definitely-been-on-a-date-with-Sora-right? Thing flooded back to her mind like a child who had run away from home but returned because she was forced.

That's when the mild interest moved over and anger set it.

It was irrational. Oh, so painfully irrational. It had come to her in a second and managed to overtake her in an equal amount of time. Sora? _Sora?_

Sure, she had nothing against Sora. Hell, Sora had almost dated her brother! But was it necessary for Sora to call every moment of the day? Of course, she had no actual evidence but she was sure by Matt's "Ooh" and not so exciting 'Hey, Sora' that she had been calling constantly and look, now she was being like T.K.!

Rewind.

"What is wrong with you, Kari?" she hissed at herself. She had no right to just assume randomly like she was doing. And like it even mattered! She had no business caring, none, none at all...

"I'm gonna go," she whispered quietly, gesturing toward herself and the door and lifted herself from the couch quietly; gracefully.

Matt glanced at her, confused. His expression was a giant 'what?'

"Kari! Wait up. T.K. will be back right away." Kari ignored him. "Kari!" he called again.

"Ooh, Kari's there? Say hi to her for me! And T.K., alright?" Sora's voice came through the telephone speaker, chirpy as ever.

"Sora– just..." Matt exhaled. "I gotta let you go."

"Uh, okay. Bye Ma–" Click. Matt had hung up.

"Kari, what the hell are you doing?" Matt demanded, catching up to her, easy considering his long legs and her slow walk.

"I– I have to go," she insisted but it did no good. Matt had basically caged her in at this point. Lovely.

"Why? Teeks should be here soon." Matt was surprised at himself. Why was he being so insistent?

"No, I know but..." Kari shrugged her shoulders helplessly. She hated not having an explanation but how could she explain this to Matt if she couldn't even understand it herself?

Matt gave up and pulled his arms away. His mistake was in accidentally letting one linger for a moment and it grazed her arm. He didn't notice, of course. But she did. She felt a little tingle, a serge of energy where she had touched it and it frightened her a bit. Weird.

She didn't _want_ to leave. Her heart was saying STAY but Kari had always been the type to consult both her heart AND her head before making a decision. And right now? Her head said, book it. So she would. Because no matter what, mind always one over whatever else. They had teased her about her never ending logic the other day but it didn't matter. She had control this way. She was better for it.

"I have to leave," she whispered again, her voice low for reasons she couldn't fathom.

"Bye," Matt said simply, in a flat, normal tone. He opened the door for her and watched as she stepped through and escaped down the street and toward her house. He watched and watched until she was just a speck to him among the throngs of people on the street and watched until she disappeared. He watched the empty and glanced around at his empty home. Then he closed the door.

* * *

_Where was Kari?_

T.K. had wondered this for the tenth time in as many minutes. He had already attempted buzzing her apartment but Mrs. Kamiya claimed Kari had "left a little while ago". What was a little while? A few minutes? An hour? Ugh, this was frustrating.

So basically, he was back at square one. Which he wasn't even completely sure he knew was. Dejected, his shoulders slumped and he started to make his way home. Great. Another pathetic night of re-runs with Matt unless Matt had plans or a date or band practice or something while Kari was proving having the time of her life out somewhere out.

This was–

"Woah!" T.K. cried suddenly, narrowly missing a collision with... wait.

"Kari?" he gasped, astonished.

"T.K.?" she choked out. "I– just– what are you doing?"

Something wasn't normal. She looked more vulnerable than usual, more fragile.

"Did... did something happen?" T.K. asked softly, though the possibility made him want to shout and scream.

"No," she answered instantly. And she wasn't even lying either. Nothing was wrong. Just that right now her stomach was all gushed up because that touch from Matt, however unintentional, had effected her in some way. She didn't know _what_ way, exactly, but she knew she wasn't making it up. It was there, it was real, it existed. She had felt it. And that scared her. It scared her a lot.

"Are you sure?" T.K. didn't look convinced.

"I'm sure! I just... I went to see you and your brother was there. And–"

That became too much for her and her sudden surge of emotions pooled up and swam to the surface.

"And..."

To Kari's complete horror, tears sprung to her eyes.

"Kari!" T.K. yelped. "Did Matt do something to you?" One hundred thousand scenarios floated through his mind and he could literally feel the anger boiling beneath his veins.

"No!" she said, not without truth. But so quickly that T.K. instantly became even more suspicious.

T.K. leaned forward to hold her arms so she couldn't pull a way and forced her to look at him. "Kar..."

"Nothing is WRONG!" she cried, breaking free of his captivating arms. And it was true. Absolutely nothing was wrong so why exactly was she acting like this? She cursed her over sensitivity at times like this.

But–"

"But nothing! I just have to go!" And without further explanation, she fled for the second time that day, running the entire way back to her apartment building. When she reached it, her heart was pounding so much from the exercise she should barely breathe. She leaned against the window inside where the numbers where to get to her apartment and took slow breaths to steady her heart rate.

This made no sense. None. She despised not having logic to back up her feelings. But at the same time, she hated always choosing mind over heart. She didn't know what her heart was trying to say but it was, it WAS trying to pass on a message. And she was ignoring it. Because she had done it so much that unfamiliar feelings weren't welcome to her. Kari hated change. Disliked it. Abhorred it. And now, things were changing without her even knowing it. God. Why couldn't she just get her heart and mind to connect and stop being so stupid?

Why had T.K. and her never exchanged "I-love-you's?" Why were they unofficially fighting right now? Why did she have not even the slightest clue what was going on?

Stupid heart.

As more tears of confusion stung at her eyes, she wiped at them angrily with the back of her hands, like a toddler without a tissue.

* * *

"Hey, Teeks," Matt greeted his younger brother easily as he slipped in through the door. It slammed effectively and Matt gave his brother a questioning look. T.K. said nothing, just charged through the room with an undeniable rage.

"Uh... T.K.? What's with the SkullGreymon stare?"

"What the hell did you do to Kari?" T.K. outburst, his face turning bright red.

Matt's stomach dropped. "What?"

"Don't do that, Matt, you know exactly what I'm talking about!"

"If I did, would I be asking you? What if your problem, huh?" Matt rose to his feet from his sprawled position on the couch.

"My problem is you! I ran into Kari, who told me she was over here. She looks terrible, mentions your name and burst into tears. What did you _do_ to her?"

"NOTHING!" Matt thundered back, his stomach sinking even more. Had he? Not intentionally? He hadn't even thrown in a sarcastic or snarky comment. In fact, he had been uncharacteristically _nice._

"Don't lie to me Matt!"

"I'm not lying. In fact, I'm the one who IS telling the truth! I ask you how it went yesterday, you tell me fine and neglect to mention that you and Kari had a fight?"

T.K.'s eyes narrowed. "That has nothing to do with you. Nothing. My girlfriend is my own business."

"Then maybe you shouldn't _smother_ her! Kari is a perfectly sweet girl, do you have to ruin that by clinging on to her every second of the day?" Matt

"Did she tell you that?" T.K. didn't look angry anymore. He looked hurt.

"No," Matt lied, not wanting his brother to be angry with Kari... or Kari to be angry with Matt for spilling this. God, she had confided in him and he just totally leaked everything? What type of person was he. "I just... you always call her and stuff. Listen, T.K., I didn't do anything to her, okay? In fact, she left here at a lightening quick speed, so I have no idea."

"Oh."

"... Yeah."

"Well, okay. Sorry." T.K. stumbled out of the living room, feeling more confused than ever. If Matt hadn't done anything, why was Kari so upset? To just flee from here and from him? Why had she mentioned Matt's name?

Kari was a complicated person by nature. But still, T.K. usually had somewhat of an idea what was going on, no matter the circumstances. But right now... he had less of an idea then what was going on in her mind. But he hoped he figured it out. And soon. Because this feeling was possibly even more unsettling than the last one.

Stupid mind. Stupid heart

* * *

Any good? Let me know! 


	6. Crushes and Cooking

**Authors Note:** I want to profusely thank my reviewers now. You guys are awesome! loves on And I got this chapter out… kind of quicker than the others? It's a longer one. Sort of. Long for me, okay? This, again, is dedicated to mental sunflower, my angellll. Ahaha. I updated. Love me. Peace out, people. And don't forget to review because those are shiny.

**Disclaimer:** Don't own. Wish I did. Want to keep Matt and pet his prettiness.

* * *

".. With seriously like, forty of her friends, just being _so loud_ that I wanted to TEAR my hair out!"

"That sounds horrible!"

Kari and Suki were walking down the hall after school and Kari listened and sympathize to her friend vent about the horror that was her sister and the invasion on her living room. Poor Suki. Two little sisters, one five and the other thirteen and they annoyed her relentlessly. Kari didn't mind though; she was used to Suki's little angst stories.

"So, anyway, I'm telling her that—"

"Girls, hi!"

A shudder involuntarily ran up Kari's spine. She didn't have to turn, didn't even have to look to match the disgusting voice to the disgusting girl.

"Hi, Ally," Suki said frostily, without even a hint of warmth in her voice. Both girls were especially wary of Ally Gansaku because she was dumb and fake and of course, liked T.K. And she didn't like it when boys turned her down.

"Like, what is _up_, girls?" Ally said perkily, segregating the two friends and walking smack in between them. "I am just having the absolute best day, how about you?"

"The fact that you're happy is enough to damper my day," Kari muttered under her breath. But, being polite, well-mannered Kari, she attempted a smile though it was stiff. "I'm happy for you," she lied.

"Why, thank you, angel!"

Suki had had enough. "Uh, Ally? Let's get one thing straight. We? Don't like you. I'm sure you hate us equally. We have never, ever been friends and never will. So want to cut to the chase and let us know what you have up your sleeve?"

Kari admired Suki greatly. She had that way of putting things, speaking out loud boldly and voicing the things most people (like Kari) wanted to say but were too chicken to.

"Well, now that you like, mention it…" Ally's voice never dropped the sugary façade, not even for a second. "I have tickets to our league's next soccer match. Which, coincidentally, is in a week. Isn't that just _super_?"

Kari literally wanted to rip her ears off but she just offered a weak smile. "Sure."

"But tragically—"Ally put a hand to her heart. "—I have no one to go with! Isn't that like, a shame? But I'm sure someone will come, huh? Who wants to miss this? The seats are like, amazing."

"That's—" Suki began, looking impatient when a rang cut through her words.

"Oops!" Ally sang. "That's my cell. It's important, so, I have to go. Catch up with you ladies _later_!"

Both girls watched in a mix of raw horror and awe as Ally strut off, grabbing for her phone and tossing her hair so wildly it nearly slapped her.

Suki pretended to stick a finger down her throat and gag. "What is _wrong_ with that girl?"

"No idea," Kari agreed, shaking her head. "That was kind of nauseating!"

"Tell me abo—" Suki got cut off for the second that in that minute when T.K. sailed by, dodging interaction with Ally. He didn't mind her, not so much. But right now he only had one thing on his mind. Kari. Kari and him exchanged significant looks, a fact not lost on the highly perceptive Suki.

"Ummm…. Anyway, I gotta jet. See you two later?"

T.K. nodded in response. "Bye, Suki!"

"Bye, Suki," Kari echoed, feeling a little awkward. The last time she had talked to T.K. she was in the middle of an emotional outburst and crying and saying things she couldn't quite remember saying. How was this going to work out? And they had never officially _made up_ or anything either.

Feeling hopeless, she fell into step with T.K. "So," she said lamely, trying to fill air in the empty space.

"So." T.K. heaved a sigh that held until they reached the end of the hall and Kari pushed the door that released the two from the captor that had held them since the morning. Kari breathed in the saintly fresh air and sunshine; T.K. exhaled.

"Are we okay again?" T.K. asked bluntly.

Kari was a little taken aback. Suki was blunt. Matt (why, WHY of all names did he come up?) was blunt. T.K. was usually like her. Eased into subjects as delicately as possible.

"What? No! I mean, of course. God, yes, definitely!" Kari mentally slapped herself as she tripped and stumbled through her words. "We are," she confirmed. Like it was all up to her. Which it was, pretty much.

"Ok, good." You could tell T.K had been holding this in for a very long time. It showed on his face, how it instantly relaxed and he looked young again, not aged and worried. He hadn't been in the mood for small talk. Not any longer.

"Yeah," Kari agreed, smiling. Her gut questioned her agreement and she hated herself for it. No doubts. They absolutely were not allowed but regrettably, they passed the no admittance sign.

"So do you want to… come over today, maybe?"

"Sure!" she answered, maybe a little too quickly. But she had to make up for her stupid insides _somehow_. And this was the way to get there.

_Agree quickly to hanging out with your boyfriend?_ a voice chided cruelly in her head. She silenced it quickly.

"Cool. Want to just… go from here? Unless you have to stop off at home?"

"No, we can go," Kari assured him, trying to look as enthusiastic as possible.

"Cool."

_Since when has all of our interaction been mainly one or two word answers?_ T.K. thought sadly to himself. Something was wrong with their relationship. He didn't know exactly what it was, couldn't really pinpoint it one hundred percent but he vowed too. Because he refused to take part of a fakey little relationship and right now, this relationship was heading there.

_No,_ he told himself fiercely. _No way._

And only when they arrived at his house did T.K. noticed for the first walk they had taken together in over three years had they not held each other's hand.

* * *

"Poor girl! All she wants is her father..."

When Kari and T.K. had arrived at T.K.'s they quickly decided to watch a movie. Both of them were too awkward to actually strike up a conversation so they mutually decided to do something that involved little or no talking. It had, unfortunately, been a really sad movie and when they were about a half hour from the end, Kari found herself in tears.

"I mean, she has-- no one! And then..." She swallowed, letting her eyes flood with watery tears again. This movie was really moving. She pinched her bracelet, just out habit. When she was sad, she fiddled with things. It just happened. The charms on her bracelet jangled around noisily.

T.K. glanced at her, drawn by the sound. Oh, no. She was crying! Yes, T.K. was pretty close to crying too but he wasn't, really. Wait... but now maybe T.K. could try to comfort her and miraciously fix everything between them. Sure, it was a long-shot but it was _possible_!

"Well, maybe..." Kari saw T.K's arm raise and begin it's descend around her shoulder. She probably did the wrong thing but she did what her instincts told her to do: she jumped up.

"I'vegottogotothebathroom," she lied quickly. Why was lying such a chronic habit for her now? Every corner, ever turn, a new excuse. And she used to be a bad liar, to think! Well, maybe she still was. But it got her by.

Without giving T.K. a chance to respond, she dashed up the stairs furiously, wearing out her legs a bit. Gosh, how out of shape _was_ she? It was a little pathetic that just running up the stairs was enough to capture her breath. When she got to the top step, she leaned against the banister for support, breathing heavily. Wait. Her cursed sixth grade gym teacher always said in this irritating voice, "LONG, DEEP BREATHS. NOT SHORT, RAGGED ONES." And so she took her advice. Breathe in. Hold it. Breathe out. Soon, her heartbeat lowered. It hadn't been too heavy to begin with though. She knew that a bit of the breathlessness was brought on from her stupid feelings again. Why couldn't she just let T.K. touch her? This was so freaking annoying.

She started to continue down the hall when she saw that Matt's light was on and his door slightly ajar. That was news. She thought Matt wasn't home. She stood in front of his door, seeing that he was sitting on his bed, guitar out, strumming along. He was singing along to it.

Kari knew she should move. She knew, technically, that she looked like this creepy stalker and should really just freaking _pull_ herself away but her feet were glued, her spine was rigid and her eyes were focused intently on Matt. She was mesmerized by it. He was beautiful-- absolutely beautiful. Like an angel, sitting on his bed and singing. He sounded like one.

Kari took in a soft breath. She couldn't breathe heavily, not now. She couldn't bear disrupting him.

No. _No!_ What was she doing? When had she become Creepy!Kari who stood their and watched her _boyfriends brother?_

No.

She began to inch away but made a horrid mistake- she scratched her cheek and before it happened, she knew it was _going_ to happen. Her charm bracelet slid down her arm and jangled noisily. Kari drew in her breath.

Matt looked up.

_Damn it!_

"Kari?" he asked, surprised. He set down his guitar and wondered briefly how long she had been standing there or if she had just been in passing. She looked scared, skittery.

"Matt!" Kari squeaked, feeling her cheeks redden. Her arm was shaking. She literally had to grab onto it with her other arm to keep it from violently quivering. The feeling ran all the way up her arm then down her throat and into her lungs. What was this sudden effect? This feeling? It was so unnerving.

"I.. that's me?" He tilted his head slightly and looked at her quizzically.

So. There was three ways Kari could go about this, she figured. She could stand here and ogle him in all of his gorgeousness. She could just run off madly and seem more crazy than she already did _or_ she could save face and pretend she had a point.

Okay. The third.

"Uh, actually I had a question," she blurted out before she was really comprehending what she was saying. His eyes were watching her intensely. Focused, cerulean orbs. They caused her to lose her breath which wasn't really handy when she was trying to manage any type of comprehensible words.

"A question," he repeated, a slight light-hearted smirk forming on his lips. "Okay. About?"

"Cooking!" she shouted, a little louder and enthusiastic than necessary. "Uh-- yeah. A question. About cooking. I have a cooking question!" God, he would think she's an absolute freak now. Not only was a freak who barely knew how to talk, she was a freak who when she DID talk was way overexcited. Great. Just great.

"Uh.. okay. I might be able to help you? Some might say I know my way around the kitchen." He followed this statement with a cute little wink that literally made her knees weak. She had to sit down... coincidentially on his bed, beside him.

"I'm making ... actually, I don't know! My Mom wants me to make it and she has the recipe at home and you know how _she_ cooks right? So I don't really trust her recipe and was hoping maybe you'd be able to help me because you're the only one I know who can really cook!" Kari was rambling. Immensely. And lying. Ooooh, what was she doing? At this point option number two... hell, option _one_ looked better.

"Uhh. I could do that."

"You could?" Kari repeated, surprised. "You… could? Really? You aren't busy with rehearsals or anything? I mean, I know you're busy and all but it isn't til tomorrow, so--" _Shut up Kari. Just shut up. You never talk, not this much. And suddenly, because of Matt, you won't shut up. And you just ended in the middle of a sentence. What is wrong with you? _

Matt, however, found it … endearing, almost. Definitely cute. In fact, she looked absolutely adorable sitting next to him, legs swinging, eyes wide. She was so different, so opposite from Tai, it was almost frightening.

"I had a rehearsal earlier today and we have another rehearsal tomorrow at noon and then again at seven but I think I could squeeze you in," he teased, finding himself surprisingly at ease with Kari. "How's three?"

Three. Kari thought that over. Three seemed perfect. Tai had soccer at two which would last a few hours so he wouldn't barge in and ask awkward questions so Kari wouldn't blush and struggle to find answers to awkward questions. Enough time for Kari convince her Mom to let her cook supper and then find the alleged recipe her "Mom would leave her". Her Mom and Dad were at work til five. Good. She'd have the apartment to herself and be able to dodge any potential bullets.

"Three is fine," Kari beamed, uncrossing her legs and standing up. "Well, I have to go. To the bathroom. I'll… see you tomorrow at three. I'll buzz you up." She laughed nervously. "Well, obviously. Okay, so, this was fun."

Matt smiled at her, getting up and trailing her toward the door. "Yeah," he agreed, closing it behind her when she left in the direction toward the bathroom. "It was." He was still smiling.

The smile didn't leave his face all afternoon.

* * *

After the embarrassing but amazing run in with Matt, Kari had went back downstairs, invented up a headache and escaped from T.K. It was horrible, she knew. What type of girlfriend was she? She didn't let T.K. walk her home. She didn't let T.K. kiss her goodbye or even hug her! She just did a small little wave thing and slipped out the door and then avoided the phone for the rest of the night.

Not that she had anything to avoid. It rang, several times. Work for her parents. Random friends of Tai and Mimi. Nothing for her. Nada. Meaning T.K. didn't call. Which wasn't upsetting, exactly. Just unsettling.

_What gives you the authority to think that? You're the one who practically ran out on him!_

Kari was disgusted with herself.

Past tense, that. Was. Because now it was the next day and it was two thirty and Kari still looked horrible. Matt was coming over. It would be just her and Matt. Alone. That rarely happened save for years and years ago where he had babysat her which, thinking back now, is kind of degrading. And she couldn't wear a skirt or dress or anything fancy while cooking. But she couldn't wear sweats. Finally, she compromised. Nice jeans and an easygoing t-shirt. Hopefully it presented the right message. Whatever that was.

Two forty one. How pathetic was she?

Padding down to the kitchen, she made sure the faux-Mother left recipe was out and pulled out all of the ingredients. She had decided on a simple dish and ripped it out of a cookbook and then carefully printed it out on index cards. She was really going all out… if all out meant using index cards and being super secret. Which it could, she figured.

Two fifty.

She needed something to do. Something to pass the time so she wasn't pacing and waiting eagerly for his arrival. She truly was looking forward to seeing him again. His tall, muscular body. His shiny hair. His--

This was bad. This was really bad. She didn't-- she couldn't… _like_ Matt, could she? No, of course not. She was going out with T.K., right? Not right. Well, yes, it was right. But why did she need clarification? There was no, possible way she could ever like Matt. Ever.

Unless--

Maybe a crush. An itsy, bitsy, insignificant crush. Big deal. People got crushes on people all the time. Especially on Matt. He was just so perfect, so beautiful. There. She felt better. She just had a crush on Matt all the time and it would pass would time. Every girl had a Matt fan girling stage in their life anyway.

Wait. Was she fan girling? Was she turning into Ally Gonsaku?

_Uh-uh,_ she reassured herself. _Not possible._

Two fifty four was when the buzzer finally sounded. She dashed to the door, pressing the button. "Yes?"

"It's Matt." He said it so cooly, so calmly. With such an understated, low-key elegance. "Want to let me up?"

"There you go."

She heard the door open and Matt begin to step up the familiar staircase. Her heart started beating. Really started pounding. Thump. Thump. It was quickening. Was her face going red? Did she look like a tomato? OhMyGod, what if she was red and sweaty and gross? How repulsed would Matt be? Matt, her crushee. Agh! This was so complicated. Could she just… not have a crush on her boyfriend's brother? What kind of predicament had she gotten herself into? This was a Tai thing. Not a Kari thing. Not normal, predictable Kari.

**Knock knock. **

Kari was still by the door. Pasting a bright smile on her face, she glanced through the peephole for point three seconds and then swung open the door.

"Hi," she chirped pleasantly. "Come in."

Matt did as he was told. He set his guitar case down (he had obviously just come back from practice), a bag and his jacket. From the bag, he produced an apron.

"I was prepared," he told her, grinning. "Alright, let's do this thing. To the kitchen."

"Right. To the kitchen." Just being so near him was making her dizzy. He smelled fantastic, he looked fantastic. He was just overall fantastic. Following Matt, she tried to stir up some conversation.

"So, many gigs lately?" Kari asked, mentally slapping herself after doing so. What if the answer was no and then he looked all gloomy and offended and sad? But thankfully, the question seemed to perk him right up.

"Actually, yeah. We have one tomorrow. Didn't T.K. tell you?"

"T.K. and I haven't really--" She paused. She was really about to say 'talked lately'. Yeah, because that wouldn't give the wrong impression or anything. "The topic hasn't really come up," she finished lamely. "But a gig! That's so great! Where is it?"

Matt lifted the index cards into his palm, thumbing through them absent mindedly. His attention was trained at Kari, however, and his eyes were bright. He listed off the name to a very popular teen club which was guaranteed to get the Wolves (they dropped the 'Teenage' part when one of their members hit their twenties first) a bunch of publicity. They had a ton right now anyway and this would just jack them up the list.

"That's so awesome!" Kari enthused, meaning it with all her heart. Her slender frame leaned against the fridge, trying not to let magnets jab her in the back.

"It is." Pause. "Hey, do you wanna come?"

"Huh? What?" Kari was caught off guard. Immediately flustered, she tried to find appropriate words. "Well… yeah, um, definitely! I'll be there. With T.K.," she added quickly.

Was that disappointment in his eyes? Or was it just wishful thinking?

No. It was probably the latter. Definitely the latter. Kari was crazy.

"Cool," he answered easily, flashing her a smile. "So, let's get this done. Hmm, it's a simple recipe. Man, your entire family seemed to miss out on cooking genes."

"Because some people just hog them all. Like you!"

"While others inherit genius genes." He looked at her pointedly.

"Yeah, darn that Izzy."

The two exchanged harmless banter for a while, kidding back and forth, truly falling into a secure sense of stability with each other. Kari felt completely at ease, as did Matt. There were few awkward pauses or mumbled sentences. Conversation flew smoothly.

At one point, Kari was to cut up an onion into tiny little pieces. She clumsily held the knife over the cutting board, randomly slicing it through the onions. Matt watched the scene and shook his head.

"Pathetic! Come on, you don't know how to cut the fast, efficient way?"

She shook her head. "I've never needed to know!" she defended herself.

"Whatever. Here." He came up behind her, his height a good few inches on her. His hand gently eased the knife out of hers and skillfully began cutting the onion at twice the speed she had. Kari wasn't paying attention to the food. Not a bit. Yes, she was staring at the onion but mostly concentrating on the fact that if she moved the slightest, she'd be moving into Matt. His breath was on her neck, so warm… She cleared her throat and though Matt dropped the knife to let her get back to the union, he was still behind her, watching her do it. Feeling awkward and on display, Kari wracked her brain for a subject. Any subject to talk about. Sora. Yes! Kari could screw up the nerve to ask Matt what was the deal with him and Sora. Taking a breath, she began uttering the sentence.. Until they heard the door open and someone barge in, loud and proud.

Tai. Of course.

Matt sprang away from Kari as if he realized just at that sentence how close he had been to her, how near. Red cheeked though she did nothing wrong, Kari kept her eyes on the onions, trying to remember what Matt had done.

"Hey, Kari. Hey… Matt?" Matt had moved to a more obscure area at this point, inside the pantry, grabbing something random. "What are you doing here, man?" Tai stuck his head in the fridge, peeking around and then snatching up a bottle of water and pulling his soccer jersey away from his sticky skin. "Nevermind. Man, we completely bashed in the other team! They're jerks, anyway. Right before the end, I made this amazing assist and Ryan was gonna get it in but he totally just cracked! Froze from the pressure. So he passed it back to me and I got the winning goal! Amazing, right? And then afterward--"

Kari shut her ears off, tuning out the sports talk. Tai won. Yay, Tai. Wasn't Tai just peachy? But did he have to come at the most inconvenient of times when Kari was just about to ask the most important question of her life? And was in an extremely pleasing position? Oh God. She was going to hell.

"Awesome, Tai. I'd have made it to the game but I had my rehearsals and shit this afternoon. But I better get going, alright? See you tomorrow. You too, Kari." With a smile so charming that Kari's stomach dropped down to her knees, he wiped his hands on a tea-towel, unwrapped the apron, picked up his things and left.

"So, why was he here anyway? What were you two doing?" Tai said this inbetween sloppy, slurpy gulps of the water.

"Cooking!" Kari snapped. "And must you ruin _everything?_ Jeez. Congratulations. I'm going to my room now!" Without a second glance at Tai, she turned on her heel.

Storming off, she exited the kitchen and pushed through her door and collapsed on her bed, sitting stiffly. Stupid Tai and his soccer. Stupid Sora for being so interested in Matt and stupid her for her stupid crush which was just making her angry and bitter for no reason.

Very, very nice gig tomorrow though. Because she loved live performances. Especially when it was Matt up there, singing like a true rock God. That calmed her down.

Tomorrow was going to be amazing.

Sighing blissfully, she leaned back in her bed and thought of what was in store for her come the next day.


	7. Irrational Explosions

**Author's Note: **I knowww. I fail at life completely. This chapter is longish though and I realllllly wanted to put something in this chapter but when I got to the end, it seemed like the perfect way to end the chapter. DO NOT FEAR. Next chapter will _definitely _satisfy you guys. Promise. And I know I say this all the time, but I'll try to update quicker. -hangs head-

**Disclaimer: **The usual.

* * *

Kari's voice was hoarse from all the screaming.

Not that that stopped her, of course. She kept at it. Screamed and screamed and screamed and... well, sang. After all, it was a concert. Matt's, to be exact. Well, the 'Wolves' but she just thought of it as Matt's band. And of course he looked all amazing up there, his shaggy blonde hair everywhere. His skin sparkled and though everyone knew it was just because he was glistening with sweat, no one cared.

Matt was a natural. He moved with great ease and when he played, it was magical. The crowd was transfixed on him. He owned them, commanded them. When his deep voice filled the room, it sent shivers up her spine. It was like heaven in a moment. He was their God and they were just people, looking for some guidance.

He was so beautiful...

Kari didn't try to fight off these thoughts anymore. They came more and more frequently. But come on, she was human! And he was parading around in front of her! Quite literally, too. She just let them come. After all, she wasn't blind.

She was, however, a Grade A bitch. God, her _boyfriend_ was standing right beside her! Did he notice her creepy gazing at Matt? Hopefully not. Eugh, what was she even doing? Was she just stringing TK along?

No... she liked him, still, she did.

She just didn't know if she loved him. Which was bull, by the way. How fair was it that she's been with someone forEVER and then suddenly it's like, oh, hi, my name is Your Hormones. I've decided to be utterly cruel and sic you on your long time boyfriends brother, alright? Sound good?

No, not really. It didn't sound really good at all.

But when she saw him... she just kind of flushed all over. She felt hot, inside and out. Her throat closed (and damn, it was already feeling sore) and as lame and cliche as this sounded? Her heart _fluttered,_ no lie. She could feel it lift out her chest and dance around. And every touch shot sparks through her. It'd been a long time since TK had that effect on her.

And here she was, back to square one. Grade A bitch, she was. In love with her boyfriends brother. Not so interested in her boyfriend. But what, was she supposed to break up with TK?

_Duh,_ a voice chided in her head.

Just the thought of that made her stomach twist up in tight knots. Could she do that? It would hurt him. It would hurt him so much. And it would destroy them. Their friendship. Davis and Suki... they'd be torn in the middle. God. This was just...

Sucky. And that was her elegant but truthful description.

Ignoring a tiny headache that Kari could feel begin to flare up behind her left eye on top of her throat, she cheered hard as the Wolves performed their last song. It was breathtaking. When they were done, everyone clapped and cheered and hollered. She threw her arms around TK, hugging him tightly, caught up in the whirlwind. He was only too happy to reciprocate.

Finally realizing what just happened and feeling awkward for it, she unwrapped her arms and smiled prettily. "Be right back!" she chirped though her voice was barely distinguishable over the immense noise this crowd was generating.

When she had left to basically be carried by the sea of people, she hadn't the foggiest idea where to go. But when she saw Sora a little up from her (that red hair was a great mark), she took to following her. She was undoubtedly going to get Matt. God. Couldn't she just _wait?_ Not-so-expertly maneuvering herself, she fell in step behind Sora.

Backstage. That's where she was heading! Escaping from the mass of sweaty bodies, she put on a grin and came up beside Sora. "Hi!" she said. "Going to see Matt?"

Sora didn't mask her blatant surprise. "Oh... wow, hi, Kari! Yeah, I am, actually. He was amazing tonight, huh?" Sora smiled widely, looking like she was in bliss. Kari resisted the urge to roll her eyes. Oh, God.

"He was good!" Kari agreed even though she was heavily, heavily understating it. "I just wanted to tell him so! I guess you are too?"

"Huh?" Sora definitely looked stunned now. "Oh... um, yeah!" The two began heading over to the back where Matt would definitely have been when a large, bulky man stopped them.

"What are you doing?" he said and not very kindly either. In fact, he seemed to bark it.

"We've known Matt for years," Sora assured the man who seemed to be a guard of some sort. The band, of course. Kari glanced back and could already see dozens of fan girls squealing the member's of the bands name. "In fact, me and him are kind of–"

"I'm going out with his brother!" Kari interjected hastily. She could not bring herself to hear the end of Sora's sentence.

"I bet every single one of those girls will say the same too," the guard pointed out, rolling his eyes. "Sorry girls. If it's true, you'll see each other after when he comes out. Now go. _All_ of you."

Dejected, Sora and Kari turned around and so did a large slew of the fan girls. But a heartwearming voice stopped them.

"Sora. Kar. It's okay, Keller, they're my friends. Let those two back here."

Though Keller still looked hesitant, if Matt said it was alright... it had to be alright then. Sora and Kari grinned- not at each other but at Matt who had already whirled them around and led them back up. He introduced them to the band, put away his guitar and all that stuff and then lead them to a less occupied corner.

"So," he said casually, tossing his blonde strands of sticky hair to the side and slid his hands into his back pockets in the typical Matt stance. "You guys like the show?"

"Definitely," Sora affirmed, grinning. "You rocked up there! I mean–"

"You were perfect," Kari cut in, smiling warmly.

Sora shot her a funny look that Kari chose to ignore. So, maybe that was the second time she cut off Sora's sentence. But she could not bear to watch Sora be all, 'ooh, Matt'! Besides, what happened to super tomboy Sora? Suddenly because she's all tennis star she was automatically some kind of fangirl?

Wait. _Wait._ Slow down. _You like Sora, remember? She's one of Tai's **best **__friends?_

"Better than perfect," Sora retaliated, glancing at Kari again. "You had everyone completely spellbound."

Matt had opened his mouth to talk at this point but Kari barged on, repulsed by Sora's nerve.

"Including myself! Why don't you guys have a record label yet? You're more than worthy of one."

"Because they don't need to be corporate sell-outs?" Sora suggested, her cinnamon-colored eyebrows shooting way up. "You don't need to have a record label to _be_ something."

"I know that! I just mean, if they got one, they'd have more exposure. Don't you want their band to do good?"

Sora's eyebrows had fallen this time and narrowed and parted her lips to retort back angrily but Matt, sensing a possible scene (though God knows why it was happening) did the interrupting this time.

"Woah, chill out guys! Glad you liked the set. Okay? Now, are you guys going to the after party?" His bright eyes focused on Sora and then on Kari, trying to detect what it was that made them so... whatever they were. But each of their faces softened so he took that as a good sign.

"Yeah, I'm coming," Sora said, tucking a thick strand of red hair behind her un pierced ear. I'm catching a ride with Mimi and Tai." Mimi had just gotten a new vehicle from her Dad, as usual and was looking forward to driving it around.

"Kari?" He questioned.

She nodded slowly, trying to fight off a blush creeping up her neck. "Wouldn't miss it for anything." The truth of the matter was? She had no idea that there _was_ an after party! No one had informed her of this. Was it intentional? Maybe not because here he was, inviting her now. Sort of. Or was it one of those 'you just gotta know' things? But she _should_ know! Gah. But either way? She was going to this party. Her mind was screaming at her to go and she knew she wanted to. The thought of it made her stomach gurgle with excitement.

"Great I gotta go talk some shit over with the band but I'll catch up with you two later, alright?" He flashed them his smirky half-smile that had broken a plethora of hearts in his Odaiba High days and was off.

Sora and Kari stood, glancing at each other suspiciously.

_This is so silly,_ thought Kari, rolling her eyes. They looked like they were about to go to war or something. She had more class than this.

"See you at the party," Kari chirped, glancing over her shoulder before she exited the stage area.

Not exactly victorious or especially witty last words but hey, it worked. Not like Kari really won. Not that there_ was_ anything to win. Not like she loved Matt or anything.

Right?

* * *

"T.K.!" Kari shouted when she had managed to locate in midst of the crowd again. Wasn't too hard- he was wearing a hat and plus, the crowd has since dispersed slightly and it wasn't as mosh pit as it had been previously. "Up for a party?" She grinned and wriggled her eyebrows in that charming way T.K. fell for every time. So despite himself, he grinned.

"Why? Looking to head to the after party?"

Kari's eyebrows stopped wriggling and squished up when she frowned. "Wait, you knew about that?"

He chuckled, a deep sound rolling in the back of his throat. Puberty had hit him _hard_ in highschool. "Yeah. Matt's my brother, Kari, of course I would."

"Why wouldn't you tell me?" she demanded, hands flying to her hips and resting there. She looked at him challengingly, expression indignant.

"I... didn't think it was your kind of scene?" he guessed slowly, smile slowly disappearing from his face.

"I think that's for me to decide, isn't it?" she retorted, her friendly eyes darkening within the moment.

_Woah. Mood swings much? _But deciding it'd be better overall to just swallow his words, he managed a weak smile. "Yeah. Wanna go then?"

"You bet I do!" Her eyes were amiable once more and it puzzled T.K. how Kari, normally so level-headed and emotionally sturdy was flying all over the place. It made him feellargely discontent.

"Okay. Uh, we need a ride, huh? Hey, ask Mimi– she's dying to drive people around!"

"No way," Kari said quickly, sharper than she meant to and completely shooting down T.K's idea.

He deflated and exhaled wondering if anything he could do for Kari lately was good enough. "You have an idea?"

"_I_ have an idea!" piped up a voice that was completely unmistakable.

Kari cringed and than mustered a grin, exercising all the common decency she had in her. "Hi, Ally."

She ignored Kari and fixed her eyes on T.K. They traveled up his lean, tall body slowly and then she smirked suggestively before clapping her hands together. "I just recently got my licence and have a lot of free room in my car. Just me and Kim and she's tiny anyway!"

The Kim she was referring to was Ally's trusty sidekick, of course. The kind of girl that the word 'petite' was made for. Barely 5'2 and weighing in at an alarmingly small number, she topped off the look with a closely cropped pixie cut. Unlike Ally, who had a balanced amount of ditzy and devious, Kim was all air-head. Kari figured that Ally only tolerated her because she was easy to control.

"Sound like a plan?" Ally prompted, flipping her hair over her shoulder obnoxiously.

Kari and TK exchanged looks. Kari could think of ten million things she'd rather do than let Ally Gonsaku drive her around, especially with Ditzy McDitz in tow. But she couldn't think of anything she'd rather do than go to this after party... so sacrifices would have to be made.

"Should we?" she mouthed to TK, still hesitant.

"What about Mimi?" he mouthed back, over exaggerating his mouth motions because he knew she wasn't too great at reading lips.

_Mimi. No... that'd let Sora know I hadn't previously known on the party! I mean, If I was going, I'd already have a ride arranged! I can't let her know that. _

"Full," she mouthed back though she was sure that Mimi was only taking her brother and Sora, freeing up two seats. But a little white lie never hurt anyone, right?

"Okay, as fun as watching your guys little like, mime act or whatever? Want to answer anytime within the next century?" Ally said abruptly, looking impatient and tapping the heel creating an annoying 'click' due to her stiletto-esque heels.

Kari inhaled heavily and closed her eyes. "Yeah. A ride will be great." She was going to regret this. Deeply.

* * *

What had she said? That she would have regretted riding with Ally and Kim? Oh, regret didn't even _begin_ to cover it!

It started out okay. Of course, that consisted of actually seating themselves in the impeccably clean, fast and expensive vehicle. And it wasn't even nice expensive. Just, 'this is the most expensive car there possibly is so let's purchase it, simply for that fact!' And how ignorant was that, honestly?

Then it turned for the worse.

"TK, sit up here!" Ally insisted suddenly, grabbing TK's hand and literally _pulling _him up near the passenger seat just as he was about to climb in beside Kari.

"Uh... I was gonna sit with Kari, actually," he said awkwardly, wiping his forehead free of minuscule beads of sweat. "But thanks."

"Oh, don't be stupid! Kim is feeling really nauseous tonight and the backseat helps calm her down. Right, Kim?" Her eyes focused on Kim intensely, making her shrink down a bit.

"Uh. Yeah. Ooh, my stomach hurts!" Kim improvised, clutching her tiny stomach and moaning in obvious fake agony.

Kari was appalled. Could Ally be any worse at lying? "So, why don't we all sit back here?" she suggested, mentally throwing darts right into Ally's eyes.

"Because I hate sitting alone up here. Duh!" Her tone alluded that this was the most obvious thing in the world and Kari was so brainless for not having considered that herself. "Now, come on Teeks!"

_... She did not just call him Teeks! He is **my** boyfriend! Mine! Not hers! _She thought, enraged.

But another part in her mind shouted at her, _hypocrite._

She was quick to admonish that pesky little voice. All it was doing was adding to her headache that had not yet gone away. In fact, Ally's overheating in the vehicle made her feel all stuffy and hot all over. For a car that had impeccable upholstery, it was sure doing a crappy job keeping Kari comfortable.

About a minute later, Ally grabbed a CD from it's case during a red light and slipped it in. Instantly, the sound projected throughout the car's remarkable stereo system. Her gaze fell to TK as if she were expecting a reaction of some sort...

And she got it. TK burst out, "This is my favorite band!"

Kari wanted to wipe that irritating little smirk right off Ally's face. "Really?" she oozed, widening her eyes and lifting her severely over plucked eyebrows."Wow! That's amazing! I had no idea our music tastes were so similar!"

_Lying, stalking bitch._

"That's pretty sweet," TK agreed, grinning and mouthing the words to the familiar song. "I had no idea you'd even be into them. They don't seem like your thing. No offense or anything," he added quickly. Ever the gallant gentleman.

"Oh, no worries!" she chirped, pressing down gas when the light flickered from red to green. "None taken! I guess there's just a lot of things you don't know about me..." Her sentence trailed off suggestively.

Kari wanted to scream. She was _right_ here! What, was her presence totally invisible? Could no one see her? Still, she remained silent. She wanted to hear TK's reaction.

"Maybe," he answered nonchalantly. "I guess I'll have to get to know you better."

... Oh. _He did not!_ In Ally's world that meant, 'let's make out' and TK was totally going along with it. Did he know _nothing _about Ally? She was the most manipulative skank in the entire grade. How could he fall for this?

Seething, she still didn't speak a word. And when they finally arrived at the house the party was being held out, she stalked out of the car and didn't throw a second glance backward to TK. He could go hang out with his new best friend Ally for the entire night if he wanted. But Kari would not condone this.

Ally? _Ally?_

Whatever.

* * *

About an hour later, Kari was feeling worse than ever. She was slumped in a room upstairs, cradling her head in her hands. The music was impossibly loud and her headache was at full force. The room was dark, yes, but the music... she could feel it pulsing through the floor and vibrating.

She felt unnecessarily achy. Her insides were burning out but on the outside, she was shivering. She didn't have the will to grab a blanket though. In fact, she had no idea who's room, let alone _house_ this was so she probably wouldn't have, either way!

TK...

She had to talk to him. She had been overreacting, right? And he probably didn't have the slightest idea where she was. Maybe if she hugged him and kissed him he'd take her home. She sincerely felt like crap.

Trying to summon the will the move to pull herself up, she was unsuccessful. She sat there for another few minutes, trying not to think or do _anything_, just block out the throbbing that robbed her mind of sanity. But a moment later, when an unexpected stream of light flooded the room and the music grew ten times louder, her eyes flew to the door and a couple that seemed to be... attached bumbled through the door. Horrified, she stared at them wide-eyed til she realized they weren't going to leave. In fact, they didn't seem to acknowledge Kari's existence.

Moaning with pain, she lifted herself up and shivered, bringing herself to leave the room and close the door. And now she was in the hallway. Music blaring so hard that her eardrums wanted to shrivel up. The atmosphere was so stuffy that she felt sick and clammy.

Sucking in her breath, she held onto the bannister and painstakingly made her way downstairs. Where was TK? A hat... was that him? It was! Oh, thank God.

_... Wait. _Was that Ally? Touching him? Hugging him? What exactly was going on? Ally flitted away just as Kari managed to muster the strength to go over to him.

"What was that?" she demanded, her voice slightly hoarse. She still felt weak but mainly, anger flooded through. Irrational anger, she knew this. A hug was innocent and everything but, God! The car thing? Ally hugging him? Her head...

He looked surprised. "Kari! I've been looking for you all over, where–"

"TK! What were you doing hugging _her?_ You know how horrible she is!" Kari interjected, eyes flashing.

"She invited me to a movie!" TK protested. "It was totally innocent!"

"You're going to a movie with her? Like on a date!" Her voice was going shrill now and as much as it hurt her throat and body, she wasn't about to stop. That was the ultimate betrayal. Sure, she may be crushing on Matt but she never _acted_ on it.

"Not a date!" He said quickly, glancing nervously around at the people who's attention they seemed to have caught. "Just a friends thing."

"You wanted to get to know each other," she reminded him, eyes narrowing into dangerous slits. "This is a date! If you wanted to go out with her, why didn't you just tell me?"

"Kari!" TK exploded, face contorting into one of anger, very unlikely for him. "What is _wrong_ with you? Who the hell are you and what did you do to nice, sweet understanding Kari? Because I want her back! Lately, you've been snapping at me constantly and won't even look at me for more than a few seconds at a time! You won't even _kiss_ me!"

"Hey!" she yelped, flushing slightly though it was just have been because she was overheated. "That's between us! Not for everyone else to know!"

"No, Kari, you started this! I want to know what exactly is going on!" His words hurtled out, one after the other, rough and sharp.

"Nothing!" she screamed back, the shrill scream burning her throat as it left her voice box.

"That's a lie and you know it!" he snapped back. "I've tried to be patient, Kari. But nothing I do seems to be good enough anymore!"

"Wait, TK," she said quickly, not liking where this was headed. And the aching... could it just go away? It was taking over her entire body, making it hard to breath. "No, that's not it..." she attempted to say weakly.

"You know, Kari? I'm getting pretty sick of this. Get back to me when you're normal again. Right now? We're through."

_We're through._

It wasn't just a 'I need to be alone right now'. It was so final. _We're through. _

The thought made her sick to her stomach. Hot tears springing to her eyes, she pushed through the crowd that had formed around them, struggling for air and a nice sheltered space. _Air._ Outside. She needed the air...

She could barely walk. Barely breathe. Barely see. Her heart was ricocheting all over her insides, making her feel like she was having a heart attack or something.

Her and TK were through.

No, it wasn't that fact that upset her so much... it's the fact that they had been going out for _three_ years. The fact that she hardly cared they were broken up in all actuality. The fact that she hadn't seen Matt yet and the fact that she had been more than a Grade A Bitch. She had been completely irrational and spazzy for no reason. And the fact that she felt so sick.

Stumbling out the door, she let the cold air try to cool her down but all it did was make her more sick. The breeze seemed like an arctic chill washing through her.

She saw a door open in a vehicle and a head of spiky blonde hair peek out.

_Matt..._

She tried to say words but they would not come out. Her throat was too hoarse. Her mind was too foggy. She couldn't think, couldn't function. Her eyes closed.

"Kari?" Matt said once, concern embedded in his voice. "_Kari?_" It was much more urgent this time and he lunged forward just in time to catch Kari. The world around her dissolved to black and blissful unconsciousness enveloped her as she crumpled into a helpless heap in Matt's arms.


	8. The Aftermath

**Authors Note:** Quicker than I usually update. Yay, me! Hopefully you guys like this chapter n.n; Make sure to let me knowwww! And this chapter jumps around a lot, from what happened previously and what's actually happening at the moment but hopefully it's not too confusing! Read, review and enjoy!

**Disclaimer:** Why bother?

* * *

... _Hmm. _So warm. Kari could have stayed in this position forever. Her eyes had yet to even open but immediately, she felt at peace. The surface beneath her unfamiliar but welcoming. A bed? Yes. Blanket... soft and safe. Pillow.

Silence. So much silence. Good for her head.

Wait. Her head? Why was there a towel on it? Why did it still ache? Not as much as last night but–

Last night. Oh _God. _She had fainted. Did she faint upstairs in that room at the party? Was she lying on the bed? She couldn't bear to open her eyes and check. Relaxation was much too precious, too foreign lately.

_No._

T.K. He'd broken up with her. Ally. He was going on a date...

Matt.

Cobwebs of sleep instantly vanishing, Kari shot straight up and her eyes popped open. Fainted in Matt's arms... couldn't even revel in the security of them, of the idea of being in Matt's arms. He had held her, embraced her. Kari may have been comatose but he had carried her into...

Matt's room. That's where she was. It had taken her a good, long moment to realize that. Let the final pieces shift into place and create a picture she could fully understand. So where was he? Quickly letting her eyes dart around the small room affirmed for her that he was somewhere else. Still here?

Tai would be so...

Her _parents_ would never trust her again...

But _Matt._

Matt. Matt. Matt.

The thought of him haunted her. Consumed her, ate at her. Made her act out of character. She pined and wanted and subconsciously blew off other people because she wanted to be near him. And for what? She was seventeen. Three years younger. His best friends little sister. His little brother's girlfriend.

_Ex-girlfriend._

No ache. No, _he dumped me. What ever will I do? _Just a dull, dreadful void that screamed, _what will you do when you see him?_

She couldn't face anyone right now. Had no interest into mustering the will to.

Stuffing a pillow over her face, she slipped back into her previous state of drowsiness and let sleep close down on her once more.

* * *

"Is she awake yet?"

Matt was lying on the couch in the living room, sleeping. Or he _had_been sleeping. Uncomfortably, at that. There was a crick in his neck from where it had been leaned up against the hard arm of the couch.

"Uh... I haven't checked on her for about an hour, actually," Matt admitted sheepishly, shaking his hair and pushing himself up so he was in a sitting position.

Tai rolled his eyes at Matt. "Great job of 'taking care of her' when I was gone." His voice was irritable but Matt decided to forgive him because he knew how protective Tai was of his sister.

"Hey, it's not like she was sitting in a bathroom throwing up. I bet you my guitar she's still sleeping." He paused. "No, wait, I take that back," he amended quickly, the thought of losing his guitar too unbearable to consider.

Tai rolled his eyes and headed over to Matt's room where she was sleeping peacefully indeed. His eyes only then shot to the clock- 4 AM. She had been out since roughly 1 AM.

"Still sleeping," Tai confirmed, plopping down on the couch which only a moment later did he notice was empty.. "Uhm... Ghost Matt?" he called hesitantly, brown eyes overlooking the room only to come up with no results.

"In the kitchen, loser," Matt yelled back, digging out the coffee maker and some instant coffee stuff. Sure, coffee was gross but it helped cure the lethargy that hovered around him. It was 4:02. Eugh. He set up the coffee maker so it'd brew about four cups within the next few minutes and loitered back into the living room where Tai now sat slumped against the couch, eyes closed, lightly snoring. Bastard.

With a smirk, elbowed his long-time best friend in the stomach hard, guaranteeing Tai would jerk awake. "Hey, asshole."

Tai moaned. "Why would you do that? I was having a good dream."

"You were asleep for two minutes."

"And it's possible to dream about hot girls in bikini's within two minutes."

"Dude, you're _dating_ Mimi," Matt reminded him.

"So?" Tai retorted. "She was in the dream too!"

Matt sighed. So hopeless. But he set aside their banter and moved onto more serious topics aka Kari. His worry for her had been so immense that it had been difficult to fall asleep in the first place. After she had collapsed, he completely freaked out. What had happened? Had she been drinking? Someone put something in her drink? All the worst case scenarios flew through his mind like rapid-fire while his hero complex set him and he gently laid Kari in the back of his vehicle. Her forehead felt warm– a fever, possibly. But he wouldn't know for sure until she stirred again.

Flipping open his cell phone, he had dialed Tai's number head off for his empty house. He couldn't bring himself to leave Kari alone in the vehicle while he sifted through the packed house where several people would undoubtedly stop him and blowing them off was too much effort. So he had gone with his instincts: help Kari.

When Tai picked up, he heard a high-pitched giggle in the background. He was with Mimi. Great.

TK, as far as he knew, was still at the party. Why hadn't he been with his girlfriend? Why hadn't _he_ helped and watched her? Besides, TK didn't have a cell phone.

"Tai?" Matt had asked to confirm, turning a naturally sharp corner with as much ease as he could. Driving while on your cell phone was dangerous enough but with an unconscious teenager in the back? Yeah, he was being as cautious as he could.

"No, it's IceMan. What's up, Matt?" Tai responded dryly. "Aren't you at your party?"

"I was," he answered, pressing the break as he neared a red light and throwing a glance back toward Kari. The questions attacked again: what the hell had happened? "But I was outside, getting some shit from my car and your sister came along and–"

"Kari?" Tai interjected, his voice transforming into a more alert, sharp version. "What happened?"

"She looked so sick, Tai and then she just ... fainted, or collapsed. I caught her, luckily and now she's in the back. Do you want me to take her to my place or yours?"

"Yours," Tai answered instantly. Matt knew what he was thinking: his parents would _kill_ Tai. Even if it wasn't his fault, it'd still be on his hands. "I'll be there right away." His voice sounded self assured but Matt knew his friend well enough to hear the worry layered underneath his voice.

"She'll be fine," Matt said to assure Tai... and himself. What if she wasn't? Panic rose in his throat. He could vaguely hear Tai say, 'Mimi, we've gotta go' and then again to Matt,

"Take care of her." He sounded stern. "Just... make sure she's okay. See you in a few." He sounded more vulnerable that time but he clicked off and Matt shut his cell too.

Before Tai had gotten there, Matt had carried her inside, thankful that she was such a dainty person. Light and easy to carry. She was so completely knocked out, slumping into Matt fully. He was holding all of her, every curve. Not wanting her to have to suffer sleeping on the couch, he sacrificed his room. Thinking back, TK's probably made more sense but what's done is done now. Gently easing her into the single, he made sure pillows were propping her head up.

She looked so vulnerable, so fragile that it tugged at Matt's heartstrings. Bending over, he grabbed for his blanket and arranged it so it loosely fell over her. He didn't want her to shiver, after all.

On a sudden but brilliant whim, he raced out to the bathroom and dug around til he found a moderately small towel. A bit ratty but it'd have to do. Twisting the hot water tap, he folded the towel twice and let water soak it. Wringing the towel of most of it's water, he brought it back to his room to put on Kari's head. Her fever was still raging so maybe this would help.

About to place it on her head, he hesitated for a split second. Instead, he bowed his head slightly and brushed his lips against her forehead. Then he placed the towel on her head, closed his room door and left.

Now, she was safely in bed and Tai had come, checked on her and thanked Matt. Mimi was gone; Matt guessed Tai had dropped her off. After about an hour, Tai had briefly gone out to purchase some antibiotics for when Kari awoke. Tai had called his parents earlier and left a message saying that he was staying over at Matt's (which was true) and that Kari had told him to tell them that she was staying over at Suki's (which obviously was not). It was just that Mr and Mrs. Kamiya had always been so protective of Kari, especially because of her frequent illnesses as a child. And now, knowing that she'd been to a party and then fainted? Their minds would completely short circuit.

"I wish I knew what had happened," Tai murmured, shaking Matt back to the present. "Are you sure she was just sick?"

"Honestly, I don't know," the blonde answered, rubbing his temple. "She came out, staggering and then just closed her eyes and... started to fall."

"Thanks again, man. But ... dammit, why did I leave the party? And where the hell was your brother when all this happened? Where _is_ he now?"

Matt didn't know. Didn't have the slightest idea, in fact. Worry flooded within him. His mind had been so preoccupied with thoughts of Kari that horrible as it was, TK hadn't even really occurred to him. What if something had honestly happened?

... Shit. Life was sucking hard right now. His band had just played one of their best gigs ever and the initial high from it had been totally messed up.

Rising in almost a mechanical way, he mumbled to Tai something about coffee and went back to the kitchen where the coffee had just finished. Pulling out the pot, he groped for a random mug and poured it. It splashed slightly, just narrowly missing him but Matt barely noticed. He leaned against the counter and gulped down the scalding hot liquid.

God, it was disgusting.

Tossing the half-full mug into the sink, he paced around, searching for a distraction. He could hear light snoring again, undoubtedly from Tai. What the _hell?_ How he could fall asleep in about five seconds flat? It made no sense.

Groaning, Matt treaded back to the living room and stared at snoozing Tai for a minute. Then, eyes shifting to the clock (it was now 4:28) he closed his eyes and let sleep claim him. It was better than all of his alternatives: worrying, worrying and drinking more of that disgusting coffee.

* * *

Matt awoke about a half hour later, when he heard a door slam. Instantly his sleepiness dematerialized and he jolted up, smoothing down his hair (instant reaction, he couldn't help it). It couldn't have been his father- he was gone on a business trip and wasn't due back for about two more weeks. So it had to be..

"TK?" His voice sounded hopeful... and a little phlegmy but that was just the product of sleeping.

"Bigbroo?" A voice half slurred. TK's voice, to be more concise. Actually, concise was the _last_ thing TK's voice was. The seventeen year old stumbled up the small stairwell, grasping onto the banister as if his life depended on it.

"Matty!" he shouted.

"Shhh!" Matt silenced him immediately, more than a little perturbed at the sudden nickname and TK's disheveled appearance and ... you know, everything. "People are sleeping!"

"Hokay!" TK said in an exaggerated whisper. That's when Matt got a whiff of his breath and blanched, backing up a few steps.

"Shit, TK, you're completely wasted!"

"No, no! Ally just gave me a few drinks, s'all."

"How much is a _few_?"

TK held up two fingers.

"TK!"

Another four fingers went up. Six drinks for a drinking virgin? No wonder he was so smashed!

"Now, Tai's in the living room so _shut up._"

"Arghanigh?" TK mumbled or at least something close to that. He was looking a little- no, scratch that, a lot unsteady and his eyes kept fluttering.

Matt so did not need this. Deciding lecturing TK at the moment would be fruitless, he put a shoulder on TK's hand and started leading him towards his room. "Just go to bed. I'll deal with you later."

TK's eyes popped open at that, eyes bleary but round. "Deal with wha? _Me?_" TK chuckled, but instead of lighthearted like it usually was, it was heavy, thanks to alcohol. "Yer not Dad! Or Mom, but that's 'cause she's gone... doing stuff."

"So is Dad," Matt replied, voice wooden. "So right now? I'm your parent. Just go sleep this off, okay?"

"Don't tell me what to do!" TK yelled at his older brother suddenly... and shakily.

"Then don't be such a dumb ass! Drinking! TK, what were you thinking? And who the _hell_ is Ally?"Matt said, face going red.

"Don't yell at me! You drunk! Drank! Drink. Eugh. You're such a hypocrite, Matt!"

It was so true. So painfully true- he _was_ being a hypocrite. But he swallowed that and decided to ignore it. It was just... TK was the good kid. It's not like Matt was some bad ass but TK was the one with so much promise to go to college and get scholarships and be all the all-around guy. And this was just so completely out of character...

"So?" Matt countered, as weak as it was. "Did you ditch your girlfriend to go drink then?" The scenario was already reeling in Matt's head. TK was drinking, it flustered Kari, leading her to faint... but it just didn't add up. Nothing made sense, in fact. It was 5 in the morning, his best friend was sleeping in his living room, his best friend's sister slash brother's girlfriend was sleeping in his room and his pure brother was standing in front of him, drunk!

"Wha? Nooo. Kari thoughts I'm going with Ally but I was just hanging out ... then I broke up with her and–"

"You broke _up_ with her!" Another scenario. Heartbroken Kari, already a fever from before... collapsing from the stress. It made Matt's rage toward his brother grow so much more.

"She was bein' all... stuff and stuff. Why d'ya care?" His slurring was so thick and heavily but luckily Matt was extremely skilled in deciphering drunk speak.

"She's your lifelong girlfriend!" He felt such a surge of protectiveness for her... the lithe little teen sleeping in his bed. "And she fucking _fainted_! I was the one to bring her here– God, she's in my _room_ right now!" Matt knew his face was probably turning red.

"What are you tryin' to _say?_ TK demanded, face contorting.

"Be a better boyfriend!"

TK's jaw dropped open. "Dun even... what, _you_ think you're so great? YOU date her!"

TK's words shocked Matt so deeply that he nearly stumbled. "I... what?" He felt exposed, suddenly and could feel heat rushing to his cheeks. "Are you completely insane? TK, you're out of your mind. You're _drunk._ Just go to bed." His words had taken a pleading spin.

"No!" he snarled. "You don't control me! I'm not just this... doormat. You're the mat! The Matt..." TK shrugged, temporarily losing train of thought. "No, but, you wanna be her hero and lecture me when I've been soooo patient? Go 'head. She's all yours."

And with _that_ TK swiftly entered his room and slammed the door. Actually, he fumbled with the doorknob for a moment and then when he finally twisted it open, kind of pushed forward his body, the door closing with... what was that, a kick?

_God._

What nerve TK had... especially about the Kari thing! You date her? She's all yours? Yeah, as if Tai wouldn't beat him to a bloody pulp with his guitar. Not to mention Kari was seventeen and his brother's ex and... you know, Kari. Unless...

Wait. Wait a damn minute. He wasn't... he wasn't actually considering this, was he? No. Of course not. It was 5 AM and he was tired and grouchy and everything was just so screwed up right now.

* * *

_Oh my God..._

Kari had heard the fight. Every single word.

A little bit ago, Kari had stirred again, the pounding in her head subsided, thankfully. She had to squint to see the clock as sleep cake the top of her eyes but it said about 4:50. Lying in the comfort of the bed for a minute, she appreciated the stillness. Time had stopped right now. Just her, in Matt's bed with sweet, sweet silence. It was all she could ask for.

Until, that is, when several minutes later she could hear some footsteps and clomping and then closer to the room, shouting. It took her about a minute to figure out what was going. Matt and TK were fighting. But why?

She had dragged herself up and pressed her ear against the door, straining to hear what they were saying.

"You date her!" she heard TK yell, albeit in a very sloppy tone.

What? Her heart jackhammered. Why was he giving her false hope?

Pressing her ear against the door even more tightly, she held her breath, waiting to hear what Matt would say.

"Are you completely insane?"

Plunk. Well, there went that.

"You're drunk!"

... Wait, what? What what what? TK was _drunk?_ He- but TK... he _never_ got drunk!

Thoughts swirling in her mind, she collapsed against the door until she heard a door close and the yelling stop.

Timidly, she opened the door and saw Matt leaning against the hallway wall, in all of his glorious perfection. She was silent for a moment, just observing him. Then she realized what a freak of nature she must have appeared like to whatever higher power out there was watching her and cleared her throat.

"Uh?" Matt mumbled coherently, glancing up as if it took an immense effort. His expression instantly changed though when he saw that it was Kari.

"Woah! Hey... you're awake." _And way to state the obvious, Matt. Good job!_

She nodded silently. It's all she could muster, really.

"Well... how do you feel?" Matt looked kind of awkward. It was obvious he didn't do this very often. He had neared closer, however, which made Kari feel better.

"My head still hurts," she admitted. "But I'm not as bad as last night. I– thank you, Matt, really. It would have been really bad if I feel and hit my head."

"Always happy to help," he answered smoothly, beginning to get back in touch with his rhythm. He hated feeling awkward.

He was so painfully gorgeous, gah! And how wrong was this? While her drunk ex-boyfriend was sleeping off it off in the room behind Matt? Whatever. Not much was _right_ with the world these days, as dramatic as that sounded. And she'd come to terms with this already.

When she didn't say anything, his insides urged him to. "Well, I should probably go wake up Tai. He'd want to know how you're doing." Matt began to turn on his heel.

"No, don't!"

Her outcry was so sudden, so desperate, he instantly stopped. "Um..."

"He just... let him sleep," Kari filled in hurriedly. "Besides, I, uh, have a question."

Shrugging, he fell back against the wall. "Shoot."

"You and TK... just now... well, okay, this isn't exactly a question but... I know I must have just come off really bad, driving TK to drink and stuff but–"

"Wait, you _heard_ that?" Matt said incredulously, eyes widening slightly.

Her eyes fell downward, cheeks reddening slightly. "Yeah," she answered in a quiet, sheepish tone.

_Which means she heard the... _"Don't worry about it. You guys are just having a fight. I'm sure you'll get back together in no time." He wasn't sure, actually. Didn't _want_ to be sure. But he felt he had to say it.

"I don't know," Kari said miserably. "It's TK... I care for him, obviously. But that spark's gone missing. The feeling of always wanting to be with him and it's just–" She paused and then laughed haughtily, realizing exactly what she was saying and who she was saying it to.

"I'm sorry. You're... you're his brother, you don't want to hear this." She shook her head. "I'm so stupid," she muttered to herself.

"Nah, nah, it's okay. I know what you mean though." He didn't but he could guess. "That... spark is always important?" _I am totally pulling this out of my ass._

"That's what I thought! But... what if he hates me? What if he never forgives me? I don't want to lose TK as a friend too." The initial sting of tears began and she wanted to just keel over and die. This was ... eugh! She fainted, basically dissed her ex in front of his brother and now was crying? Could a girl get more pathetic?

"Hey, don't _cry!_" Matt's savior complex started to kick in and he crossed over to her side, draping an arm around her without really thinking about it. "You had a rough night. It'll just... it'll all look better a little later."

"No! Eugh, I screwed up _everything_! Everything is just changing and–" _Matt has his arm around me. Oh my God._

Matt mistook her sudden silence for even more depression and wrapped his other arm around her as well, pulling them into an actual hug.. "Come on, it can't be that bad."

She looked up at him and for one heart stopping moment, she felt like she really, really saw him. Gorgeous blue eyes that were looking at her sympathetically. Arm wrapped around her, bringing them in so close that she could barely breathe. And he actually cared for her. Little Kari, who had never really mattered. Matt _cared._

So maybe it was her vulnerability at the moment, or her pent up feelings, the closeness, the deliria or even her splitting headache that provoked it... but mainly, it was how perfect he looked and insatiable desire that filled her insides like a firecracker that made Kari lean up barely a few inches and lightly press her lips against his.


	9. Sufficently Awkward

**Disclaimer:** Don't own, yadda yadda. AN at the end of this chapter.

Kiss her back. It was his first reaction, his _only _reaction. Words flew into his mind at nearly astronomical units but he forced his brain to click off and let himself slowly melt into the moment.

Lips grazing together at first, slowly growing more intense all within the span of fifteen seconds where his brain finally rang out warning bells. This time, he listened and pulled away.

_Shit. Shit. Shit. _He had just– oh, fuck. He had just kissed Kari. Well, she had kissed him but he had kissed her back just as much and... what did this mean? Yes, he had been attracted to her as of late but... she was having a break down! She was _vulnerable._ Oh dear Lord, had he taken advantage of her?

Feelings were easy to put aside. Attraction, you felt it, you ignored it. No one else knew except for yourself. But a kiss was absolutely irreversible and now the damage was done and ... what came next?

Kari looked horrified. Matt felt worse. And here they were, frozen, faces only inches apart with the knowledge that she had kissed her brother's best friend and her ex-boyfriends brother and him his best friend's sister and brother's exboyfriend.

Frozen, that is, until the door behind them slammed open and they both sprang apart, heartbeats rapidly increasing to an almost unhealthy level.

"TK?" both Kari and Matt said at the same time, several layers of shock painting each of their voices.

"Kari?" TK laughed, almost bitterly. "Come to yell at me s'more?"

"I..." There were _no words_ to describe how panicked she was. She had just kissed Matt. Score, for like, the ten seconds of it. And now they weren't kissing and it was all a big mess and here was drunken ex about to chew her out and she was so panicked. Breathe, breathe, breathe.

"Sorry," she said lamely, wondering if it was possible to have a heart attack at seventeen.

"Sure," he snorted, waving his hand in a floundering, clumsy manner.

"Okay, TK, what are you doing?" Matt cut in, not really _thinking_ but feeling and doing anything to avoid _another_ scene. "Go back to bed."

"Bathroooom!" he revealed, glancing toward the room down the hall. "I'm gonna... bathroom." He hitched a thumb toward the bathroom in the most inelegant of manners.

"Okay, you go to the bathroom and–"

"Kari! You're awake!"

_And comes Tai to complete this most unusual, coincidental and ever-so-inconvenient freak show._

"Hi, Tai," Kari said, mustering as much enthusiasm in her tone as she possibly good. Tai didn't know that her and TK had broken up, did he? Couldn't have, as Matt just found out himself. Tai didn't know that she had just kissed his best friend. Tai didn't know. The guilt built up in her stomach.

"How you feeling? Better, right?" His voice was hopeful, like, 'Please be better or else that'll blow for both me and you'.

"Better," she confirmed and it was true.. Health wise, yes, her head still hurt like a bitch possessed and her body felt drowsy and though as if it were jet lagged. Mentally, no, but she could put that aside at the moment.

"Need anything?" Tai asked, running his fingers through his bush of hair. "Water, tylenol..."

"Actually, that sounds really good right now," Kari said, glancing at TK who had lost interest in the situation and was bumbling off toward the bathroom. She did not look at Matt.

"Coming right up," Tai promised, turning and heading toward the kitchen. Now it was her and Matt alone once more.

She was about to glance down at her shoe like a poor, pathetic person would but she didn't get a chance too because Matt yanked on her arm and pulled her into his room. Kari felt a surge of adrenaline run through her which was promptly ruined with a cough.

"Kari," he said solemnly in a voice so smoldering she could have died right there.

"Yeah?" Her yeah was a tiny squeak of a voice, nothing compared to the self assurance that he seemed to exude through his voice.

"Why did you do that?" Though her cheeks burned bright red, she had to admire him. Straight up, no nonsense. Such grace and charm...

No. She couldn't mentally run through a list of his perfect attributes while struggling to find an answer to the most awkward question of her life. _Why did you do that? _Because I am head-over-heels in love with you, Matt? That answer your question?

If only she actually had the nerve to say that.

"Do what?" she answered, innocence laced in her voice.

Oh _christ._ He was actually going to have to say it, wasn't he?

"Kiss... me," he answered uncertainly. Matt wasn't uncertain often so this was pretty new to him. In fact, this entire situation was pretty new.

And there it was. The near magnetic mutual drawing of their faces. A tense, uncertain silence lurking the air. Gravity seemed to pull their faces together and it was like in every movie you've ever soon where their lips seemed to meet once more...

And Tai interrupted them for the second time that day.

"Kari?" he asked loudly, thankfully giving them time to back away from each other. Tai came so quickly though that Matt, thinking smartly, put his hand on Kari's forehead.

"You're still hot," Matt blurted quickly and then realizing the ramification of his words, said, "Warm! I mean warm!"

Despite everything, Kari was still Kari and she blushed. Tai's eyebrows raised but he didn't say anything.

"I got some Advil," he said, holding up the bottle to clarify. "And some water."

Kari took the bottle from him, tapped out two pills and swallowed each at the same time, gulping down some water. Kari was used to taking pills so this was an easy feat for her.

"Alright... then... I guess we can go home," Kari suggested weakly, raising from the bed so she didn't have Matt's heat radiating toward her.

Tai glanced at Matt's clock. "Can we wait a few hours? At nine, both mom and dad will be gone for sure and we can go in."

Kari's smile was tight but at least it was a smile. "Yeah. No problem."

Big, big problem.

Kari had tried to fall asleep. Honestly, she did. Although considering what had just happened sleeping in Matt's bed would have been too awkward so she hauled herself over to the living room and collapsed on the couch there. She was still for an hour and though her eyes were closed, she didn't sleep a wink. How could she? Her mind kept swirling and the situation didn't seem to unknot in anywhere. Instead, her mind blew it out of proportion and she thought she could feel tears at one time.

She drove TK to go get drunk, didn't she? She looked for any excuse to yell at him and forget about the urge to kiss him. They'd been dating forever; he had been her constant. And now...

Then she kissed Matt. And the humiliation from that was so great that she didn't want to look at him ever. But how could she not? It was going to come up at one time or another. It already had but...

She had to stop mulling over this. It wasn't helping. Finally, she opened her eyes and glanced around the living room. No one was around. Her eyes darted to the clock: 6:30 AM. She moaned. Only? Couldn't time fast forward, oh, three hours so she could just go home?

Kari continued sitting there for a few minutes, eyes open and completely aware. The house sounded completely silent except for... footsteps? They drew closer and closer toward the living room and she saw spiky blonde hair pop through the door. Her heart seemed to skip a beat. _Matt?_ She felt a rush of euphoria and uneasiness hit her at the same time.

She fell frozen when the blonde that through the door was TK, not Matt.

"Ohh... h-hi," Kari stammered, unsure of what to do. She felt vulnerable and vaguely reminded herself of her eight year old self. "I thought you... went to sleep... I.."

"Was puking," he said in means of explanation, plopping down on the couch beside her.

"Oh." Yes, that'd probably explain the horrible retching sounds she'd vaguely heard. Was she self involved or what? She'd barely noticed them.

"Where are..." She faltered. She meant to say 'Tai and Matt'. However, he looked so cold and unfriendly and so.. Non-TK that she couldn't even talk properly.

TK shrugged. "Dunno."

A few moments later they both heard voices coming from the kitchen.

"Tai, stop kicking that bowl around. I _need_ it!"

"Aw, man, can't you use another bowl?"

"Can't you just not kick it?"

"... Yeah, I could do that."

There was her answer. They were making breakfast then. Or, she figured, Matt was making breakfast and Tai was proving to be a very amusing distraction. Whichever, she was happy Matt wasn't here talking to her.

"Why'd you dump me, mm?" TK inquired, looking at Kari intently. He didn't sound nearly as bad as he had before, when Matt and him were fighting. Because of the puking, she assumed. Not that'd she'd ever drank but over the years you start to pick up on a few things.

"I... I didn't dump you," she said incredulously, struggling to find her voice. She was amazed. "TK, _you_ dumped me!"

"No, no. You dumped me before I even said anything... stopped paying 'ttention. What's wrong with me?"

Oh, God. "TK, you're a great guy, nothings wrong with you. I'll always like you! I just.."

"You don't love me." His voice sounded so solemn, so sad that Kari swore she felt her heart break. She was going directly to hell. One-stop ticket. And she deserved it. Her throat kind of closed up and she felt like she was going to cry again.

"No, TK..." she began to feebly protest.

"I wasn't even going awna date with her... Ally. Just friends but... you yelled at me."

Kari felt progressively horrible as this conversation went on.

"I... I'm sorry," she choked out.

"Really?" His eyes shone of hopefulness. It was suiting. Hope was his crest, after all. He seemed to perk up which easened the knot in Kari's chest a small amount.

"Really," she confirmed, feeling a little better.

"Then... you wanna get back together?"

The knot tightened about ten times over. Oh, God times two. How could she say no? But how could she say _yes?_ Ultimately, it'd be a repeat of all of this and she wanted to save both of them the grief.

Oh, heaven help her. She wallowed in the silence for a moment, trying to summon words. Any words would do. Anything. Really.

"I... well, I mean..." She tripped over her words for a minute before Tai and Matt came in, tiptoeing. Obviously they thought Kari was asleep... not that she had been to begin with.

"Um, hi," she said awkwardly. This was also going to be sufficiently awkward, yes, but less awkward than the current situation. So much awkward. It was painful, really.

"Oh." Tai looked surprised to see her awake and both guys, realizing they were _tiptoeing, _put both feet flat on the ground.

"Were you tiptoeing?" Kari asked in amusement, thankful for the small distraction.

"No," Tai said hastily. Matt said nothing but instead looked everywhere, the roof, the wall. Just not at her. That was expected but still hurt. She was sure his hands would be jammed in her pockets if it weren't for the platter he was carrying. Tai was holding the bowl he had apparently been kicking around. She hoped they'd washed it.

"Just some manly walking. Hungry?" He held up the bowl which appeared to be filled with fruit. Matt wordlessly took the lid off the platter, revealing... pancakes.

"There's syrup and stuff in the kitchen," he mumbled.

"Dude, speak up," Tai said bluntly, elbowing him. "She can't read lips."

"Tai... shut up," he said through gritted teeth.

"Princess is sure in a mood," Tai said with a smirk, coming round toward the table. Only then did Tai notice TK and backed up a little.

"TK?" Matt said, gaping a bit. "I thought you went to sleep." It was his first coherent sentence since before.

"Nope," TK answered simply and turned back to Kari, trying to get some kind of answer out of there. "D'you?" he asked once more.

"TK... I don't know."

"Don't know what?" Tai butted in, looking back and forth at the two teenagers.

"Tai, stay out of it," Kari warned gently. It really was for his own good. This entire situation had taken a soap-opera worthy twist. Ooh, life.

"If she wants to get back w'me!" T.K. announced making Kari throw her face into her hands. This was so not going according to plan. Couldn't anyone shut up?

"You guys broke up!" Tai hollered. Kari winced; she had managed to forget Tai still didn't know about that. "When? Where!"

"Not important," she said hastily, using every last drop of willpower she had inside her to not glance at Matt. Do not glance. _Do not glance._ Repeat until emblazoned in mind.

"Not important!" TK and Tai exclaimed at the same time. "Kari, why dontcha wanna be with me?"

"You're my baby sister, of course it's important!"

She could feel her headache come back, erupting from the back of her mind and snaking it's way, entangling every aspect of her brain. Like a vine. Like a painful, headache inducing vine.

"I..." she began, feeling overwhelmed.

"Kari–" TK began, voice overlapping Tai's who was saying, "How could–"

A voice cut them both off. "DROP IT!" Matt thundered, face going a particularly colorful red color that vaguely reminded them of a healthy apple. "TK, get to bed. You're still drunk." Disgust was clearly evident in his voice. "And Tai, she'll tell you about it when she wants to. Attacking her when she's sick is just low."

Tai and TK both had the grace to look guilty, at least. TK's face contorted into anger only second later, however.

"No! I want a straight answer out of Kari!" he demanded.

Kari began to feel sick to her stomach once more; like she may vomit. Matt had just stuck up for her. Matt wasn't completely repulsed and turned off by her? There was a God?

"TK, I really don't know right now," she said quietly, looking down at her nails.

"But–"

"Go to bed!" Matt cut in, still angry.

"Fuck off," TK replied. Kari's jaw dropped. Tai's eyes widened. The shade of Matt's face deepened several shades. TK never adopted that type of vulgar language. It just wasn't _done._ It'd be like Izzy saying, 'let's go outside instead of playing computer games!'

"Get to bed." No anger in his voice now. No, now there was something ten times worse. Stone cold iciness, seemingly impenetrable and impossible to thaw.

"I want to talk."

"Show about an inch of respect for Kari and spare her the benefit of not having to deal with your drunkeness," Matt spat, eyes narrowing. "This is the stupidest most humiliating thing you've ever done and believe me when I say you'll regret it when you wake up. So go to bed or you're telling everyone here you couldn't care less about Kari."

TK was trapped, basically. So wordlessly, he got up and dragged himself up from the couch, shooting daggers at Matt who simply ignored him. They all watched silently and he pulled himself out of the living room.

Kari exhaled the breath that had been caught in her throat. She was overcome with several emotions directed toward Matt. Appreciation, respect... and slight fear, if she wanted to be totally honest. She knew he could explode but sometimes when he had that cool, silent exterior you just wouldn't expect it to crack.

"What the hell was that?" Tai blared once TK was gone. "What is _up_ with you, Matt?"

"Nothing!" Matt returned, glaring daggers at his friend. "He was making a jack ass out of himself. And _you_, what's up with you? What was with your need to interrogate your sister?"

Kari wondered if they realized she was still sitting here. Frozen, she kept at it. 'It' being sitting wordlessly.

"_My _sister, exactly," Tai shot back hotly. "What does it matter to you?"

Matt faltered for a moment and then picked it up again. "It matters," he insisted. "Because Kari doesn't deserve that."

She smiled, sitting up straight.

"I didn't do anything!" Tai defended himself, glancing at Kari. "Did I?"

Blinking, she shrugged. "Well, I..."

Sensing she was stuck, Matt swooped in. "She was having a hard enough time already and you just ... attacked her!"

"Kari is my sister. Not yours," Tai told him coldly, turning his back. "And I am not going to stand for _you_ lecturing me on how I'm a bad brother. Just because TK suddenly rebelled doesn't mean you have to lash out on your friends." He set the bowl on the coffee table (more like dropped, really) and a few pieces of fruit fell out. "Let's go, Kari."

"It's not nine yet," she pointed out meekly. In fact, about two hours to.

Tai looked frustrated with this bit of news. "Then we'll go to Mimi's!"

"As if Mimi will be up at this time," Matt said with a snort.

"Why, want us to stay here?" Tai asked, nearly tauntingly.

Matt's gaze fell toward Kari for a brief, fleeting second. His eyes were locked with hers intently but to her regret, he turned away again. "Leave if you want," he told Tai with a scoff. There was something about his tone that didn't quite match the look in his eyes.

"I will!"

These two could be childish, yes, but it was so extremely flattering to have Matt stick up for her. And that lingering gaze her gave her... Well, more like a glance. But still. And how he was defending her! It had to mean something, didn't it? She certainly hoped so. _But_, she realized with a sinking heart, it probably didn't. Matt, like her and Tai and TK, were operating on just a few hours of sleep. TK none, actually. He was ultra sensitive at times and it was understandable for him to fly off the handle like that. He was just a reasonable kind of guy. A good guy.

But still... hope existed.

Kari rose from the couch slowly, not wanting to get light headed. When she propped herself up she did feel unsteady but for a completely different reason. Matt's eyes seemed to be glued to her and she felt flushed; on display. "So, Mimi's then?" she asked brightly.

"Let me make a call," Tai said in response, whipping his cellphone out of his pocket and seating himself on another chair, ignoring Matt's presence. Kari wasn't too concerned at their fighting. It happened frequently. Despite it all, they were still best friends and always would be. There was a ninety percent chance that by the end of the day, they'd be joking around again.

Tai pressed a button on his phone which in turn dialed Mimi's number. The silence in the air was tense while Tai waited for Mimi to pick up. No answer. Sighing, he tried again.

Answer this time. "Hello?" He said brightly. "Hey, Meems, it's me."

Pause. An then, a garbled response Matt nor Kari could here. "Well, I know but this has to do with the crap that went down last night."

Mimi was talking. Tai looked aggravated. "Look, it's only 7, it's not like it's 5. I'll explain when I get there."

A shriek on the line answered him.

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry!" Then a smirk, from Tai. "I will make it up to you. Uh huh... I know just how to."

_Gross!_ Kari thought to herself. She definitely did not to hear this about Tai. His sex life should be kept separate from her at all times. Thankfully, he threw a glance toward Kari, caught the disturbed look on her face and hung up.

"We can go over," he announced slipping his cell back into his pocket. "Mimi's opening the door for us. Kinda pissed, she's not exactly a morning person."

"Really?" Matt said dryly. "We couldn't tell."

"Didn't ask your opinion," Tai snapped and then diverted his attention to Kari, nodding. "Ready to go?"

"Yeah," she answered quietly.

They got their things and opened the door, ready to leave. After Tai exited, Kari was about to follow when Matt came up behind her. He was so close she could feel the heat from his breath on her neck. It made all sorts of feelings run through her- feelings TK simply could not provoke anymore.

"Get better," he told her, voice low. She battled with her thoughts for a moment on whether or not to turn around and the voice that told her to turn won. She spun herself around.

"I'm sure I will," she said just as quietly though that may have also been because she seemed to lower drastic decibels whenever Matt was round.

He did that eye thing around where he stared at her, blue eyes concentrated and intense. "I'm sorry," he said simply.

A frown crossed her features. He was sorry? That made no sense. What did he have to be sorry about? It was her that had kissed him, her that had fallen for him. Matt was the victim in this most unusual scene.

She never did get a chance to ask him what he meant. Rather, she didn't give herself a chance. In stead, she swallowed, turned and walked out the door.

**AN:** Okay, so, overdue. I know this. But on the bright side, I haven't given up on this fic which is more than I expected of myself! Yay! These last two chapters have been within like, the span of two hours so yeah. Next chapter should pick up the pace.

TK was OOC, I definitely know this. But that's the point- to act OOC. He sobered up a bit but not exactly which is why he still didn't question why Kari was there in the first place. Tai and Matt have matured, yes, but let's face it- they're them and they fight XD So, yeah.

Sooo, anything you want to see incorporated in this story? ;D If it's reasonable and workable, I can probably do it.

I LOVE MY FAITHFUL READERS/REVIEWERS FOR PUTTING UP WITH MY LAZY ASS.


	10. Free Falling

**Authors Note:**I think I've run out of excuses now. So... here XD -flails- Enjoy ;)

**Disclaimer:**I am so past this.

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"This belt? Or this one? Oh, oh, or _this_ one?"

"I... uh–-that...one?"

"Which one?" Mimi held up the second belt and started to wrap it around her waist. "This one? Oh, you are _so_ right! God, you little hidden fashion genius, you!"

"Yeah, uh...what can I say?" Kari said, more than a little flustered.

Mimi and Kari had gotten to talking the previous day and Kari mentioned being stressed out. Mimi had jumped in gracefully, extending an offer to take her shopping.

Kari had looked doubtful so Mimi had said, "It's sooo therapeutic," with her brown eyes twinkling excitedly.

Kari cast her a look.

"What?" Mimi said defensively. "I know that word!"

Kari blinked and then rushed to assure Mimi that's not what her look meant. "No, no! I just meant...well, it's just...clothes."

"Just clothes? Honey, clothes are what we wear. Like it or not, clothes give off our impression on the world. And when you get cool clothes, you look cool and when you look cool, you _are_ cool and…I don't know, whatever. It helps, I swear it!"

In the end, Kari was persuaded to go which brought them here. Shopping. Mimi would be holding up three belts that looked exactly the same and Kari would be randomly guessing which would look best. She didn't really have a hidden fashion eye or anything. She was just...lucky.

Lucky when picking out fashion choices for Mimi. Not lucky when it came to her love life. Or lack thereof. Or...tangled mess it was. Almost was. The thoughts continued to override. How was this supposed to be therapeutic again?

Mimi grabbed a random hat off a rack and stuck in on Kari's head. "It's so pretty!" she said with a giggle, ushering the younger girl toward a mirror.

"It's pretty uh, _cool_," Kari teased, making a play on Mimi's previous nonsensical battle about 'coolness'. She looked in the mirror however and found she couldn't smile. Her eyes had gigantic rings around them and she looked thinner than she had a week ago. If she didn't fix all that soon, her mother was going to start on her case.

"Why are you frowning?" Mimi demanded, looking at Kari through the mirror. "We are totally bonding here which is way important since I am dating your brother and you could one day be my sister or something."

Kari finally cracked a grin. "Okay! So, do you want to marry my brother?" It was nice, concentrating on other people's romantic problems. Or non-problems. Whichever.

"I wouldn't mind," Mimi said with a happy smile. "He's really stubborn but I kinda like it. Ooh, especially when he does his one thing, it's really hot, wow! And then–"

"Mimi!" Kari interjected, looks of horror appearing on her face. "He's my _brother!_"

"Oh. Right." She laughed. "I always forget about that when I start going off in my own world...heh, oops. Sorry! I can imagine how immensely disturbing that probably is."

Kari waved her hand dismissively. "It's fine!" she said airily, writing it off as nothing.

"You know, you're way too forgiving for your own good," Mimi told Kari with a grin, before taking the hat of Kari's head and placing it back on the hat rack she'd originally taken it off of.

That caught Kari's attention. "What? I...I guess." _Liar. Liar, liar, liar. Heinous, disgusting liar. Forgiving? _Definitely not! Did a forgiving girl reject her ex-boyfriends plea to date her again? No.

"You guess? Kari, you're like the most virtuous person I know. I think it's cool. People could learn like, a lot from you," Mimi continued offhandedly, eyes scanning some chic scarves.

An influx of guilty feelings hit her all at once. She did not deserve any of this praise. Considering all that had happened within the last two weeks...she definitely did not deserve it at all. She continually yelled at her boyfriend and drove him to break up with her and drink. She was a complete bitch and acted so pathetically not like herself she could cry thinking about it.

"I'm really not..." she protested weakly, trailing off.

"You kidding me? You're like a freaking saint. But I guess that's why you're the Crest of Light, huh? You tend to see the good in everyone."

Kari felt as if she were going to be sick. The more Mimi went on and on about her supposed 'sainthood' the worse the felt. She was less than a saint lately and…Oh, had she ever changed. It was disastrous really. But for the sake of her own sanity, she managed to pull together a smile.

"Thanks," she said with forced appreciation. "I do what I can."

"Ooh! Skirt!" Mimi seemingly forgot the conversation at hand and plucked a tiny, short skirt off the rack and held it up against herself. It was a fading yellow. "Ew, my skin looks sallow when I wear this. So not my type. Ahh, but it's so cute!"

"Aw, I'm sorry," Kari offered sympathetically.

"Oh, wait! You used to wear that yellow...top...thing. Here, try it on!"

Before Kari could blink, Mimi was shoving the minuscule skirt her way and into her hands. She had no choice but to latch onto it.

"I... um... Mimi, I appreciate this but it's not really my type and–"

"Oh, _please_?" Mimi begged. "Come on? Don't you want to bond with me? This is what I do! This is my bonding! Come on, Kari, you owe it to that skirt to try it on! Just once, please?"

Kari exhaled. She was weak. "Okay," she relented, going off toward the change rooms, skirt in hand. "But I'm not showing you."

"Yes you are," Mimi insisted stubbornly, eyebrows arched. It reminded her so freakishly much of Tai. Guess they were rubbing off on each other.

Figuring it was futile to protest, she sighed once more and with the approval of a sales lady, stepped into a stall.

The first thing she did was glance at herself in the full-length mirror within the stall. There was Kari. Plain hair, pulled up. Wearing normal jeans and shirt and shoes. This skirt was...so not normal.

Turning around to change, she easily slid on the small yellow thing and gaped at her reflection. The skirt was _short._ Well, not obscenely short but short enough to feel awkward in it. She cringed.

"Kari?" Mimi's voice came from the other side of the room. "I want to see!"

Shyly, Kari exited the dressing room, wanting to cover her thighs. She felt so... on display, despite the fact she always wore shorts.

"Whoa!" Mimi cried. "You are a babe!"

Kari awarded her with a blank stare. "I...um...I'm going to change," she mumbled, ducking back in the dressing room before her face could flush red and changing back into her normal jeans.

"Much better!" she said with relief, tossing the skirt back to Mimi.

"What? Honey, you are totally buying that skirt!"

Kari's eyes widened. God no, she was _so_ not buying it. No, no, no. "I'll uh, pass. I don't have a lot of money with me, so..."

"Then _I'll_ buy it!" Mimi assured her, leading Kari out of the hallway and back out into the main part of the store. With a quick look left, she began to map the way to the tills.

"For yourself?" Kari asked hopefully, knowing what the answer would be.

"No! For you!" And that was the answer Kari expected.

"No…Mimi, I can't take your money," Kari protested feebly, wondering why she couldn't just assert herself and let Mimi know she _hated_ the skirt. Well, not so much hated as felt totally exposed in it.

"Why not? It's my dad's money! Consider it a birthday present," Mimi said after a moment of thought, approaching an empty till and flinging the skirt over.

"My birthday was a few months ago."

This fact was lost on Mimi as the skirt (along with a few other items) was rung up.

"And there you go!" she told Kari with her perpetual perky voice, handing the bag over to the younger—but taller—girl.

"Thanks," she said politely enough, not wanting to sound ungrateful even though she'd totally gotten roped into this.

"I'm sure TK will appreciate it," Mimi said with a suggestive wink, pushing the doors open to leave the store. Her words made Kari stop short. Mimi had continued walking and only realized Kari had stopped a few moments later. "Whoa, Kari! Why'd you stop walking?"

Collecting herself, Kari quickly caught up to Mimi (no hard feat, what with her long strides) though her cheeks were burning a brilliant crimson. "I doubt it," she said quietly, once the two were in step once more.

Mimi's eyebrows wrinkled. "Why would you say that?"

"...I broke up...he broke...we broke up," she revealed, tone even quieter than before.

"Oh my God!" Mimi said in a hushed but urgent voice. "I'm sooo sorry Kari! Oh, wow. I never saw that coming...Come here, sweetheart." Mimi held her arms open for Kari and Kari gratefully accepted the hug, letting the older girl envelope her.

"Breaking up is the worst," Mimi said knowingly with a sigh, parting with Kari and bringing her over to Mimi's vehicle, snaking in between several other vehicles.

"When did it happen?"

"Y-yesterday," Kari recalled, forcing herself not to cry. She wasn't crying because it was over. Well, not exactly. Yeah, TK had been her boyfriend for the last two years. Of course that hurt. But rather she was crying because she had been an absolute _bitch_ to TK. And even if she knew this, she didn't change it. Didn't let him off easy. Just...finally manipulated him until _he_ was forced to break up with _her. _That's exactly what she had done, wasn't it? She never knew she had it in her. Virtuous? She was disgusting.

"Aww, sweetheart. Well, if you're meant to be, you will be in the end," Mimi said reassuringly, slipping behind the wheel when they got to her vehicle.

"I…" She trailed off. How exactly did one say 'I don't want to be with him' without sounding completely heinous?

"You...wait, I know that look. Is there someone else?" Okay, so Mimi was a complete mind reader and it was scary.

Kari's guilty, flushed face gave it all away.

"There is!" Mimi said with astonishment.

God _Damn._ Why hadn't Kari taken Drama like everyone else? Because now her face was burning and she couldn't even look up at Mimi because her acting skills hit a grand level of, oh, _zero._

"Maybe," Kari mumbled even though it was already blindingly obvious.

"Who, who, who?" Mimi pressed, eyes widened. To Mimi, this was _big_ news. Like, colossal and gigantic and every other big word that exists. For the last decade (read: few years) Kari and TK had been an _item_. And even before they'd been all official, they were still an item in _everyone's_ mind. So this was just...mind blowing.

"Do I know him?" she continued, looking at Kari expectantly.

Kari's mouth opened and closed several times. "Y-y... no. No. Well... y-yes. Yes. Yes, you do." Honesty was the best policy, right?

"Who?" Mimi said again, fingers drumming on the steering wheel.

"I can't say," Kari muttered, face turning a brighter red than before.

Mimi frowned. "Okay," she said, glancing at Kari suspiciously. "I won't force you to tell me anything. But if you tell me, I can probably match make! I'm an excellent matchmaker! Just give me two people and boom, I can get them together like _that_."

"N-no thanks," Kari stammered, feeling overwhelmed.

They arrived at Kari's apartment shortly. Mimi had 'bought things she wanted to show Tai'. Kari did not desire to know any details. She let them fall to silence.

She entered the apartment, bag in hand.

"I bet Tai's napping," Kari predicted, opening the door further so Mimi could get in.

Voices. Kari was wrong. Tai was not napping. No, he was very much awake and as the sadistic, cruel excuse for the universe would have it, he was hanging out with Matt. They were at the kitchen table, attempting to eat some cookies Tai and Kari's mother had bought for them.

So they made up.

Kari felt her knees go weak and felt like throwing up because she was such a pathetic person. She was like every girl in those cheesy romance books that she read occasionally out of near suicidal-induced boredom.

Tai looked up and burst into a smile. "Hey, gorgeous," he said to Mimi. "And hey, Kari. What were you guys doing?"

"Shopping!" Mimi answered brightly. Kari was still not able to form words. Her tongue felt like it was sprinkled with sawdust. "I have things to show you."

Tai's eyes lit up. Kari's urge to puke was growing stronger.

Matt had not yet said a word. Him and Kari were staring at each other though, one daring the other to talk. Kari won; Matt spoke up. "Hey, Kari. Hey, Mimi."

Mimi chirped a 'hi' back but it took Kari a moment to say anything at all. "Hello," she said softly. Staring at Matt for too long was lethal because he was so petrifyingly hot so she tore her eyes away.

"We can go in my room," Tai suggested, glancing at Mimi's shopping bags. Mimi nodded and began to make the way to the familiar room.

Kari rolled her eyes until she realized Tai and Mimi had stranded her and Matt alone.

Fate was a bitch.

"I'm gonna get some fresh air," Kari babbled, not emotionally equipped enough to stay in the same room as him anymore. Everything was still so up in the air between them...it was unsettling. She couldn't do it. Yes, she was a pansy. She was aware of that. She dropped her bag that held the flimsy skirt in it and booked it out to the hallway. Leaning against the door outside, she breathed a sigh of relief... until she heard the doorknob turn. Panicking, she jumped up and began to stride down the hall as if that had been her original plan the entire time.

"Kari." Matt's completely unmistakable voice. "Kari, _please._" He was pleading now.

Hesitantly, she whirled around and swallowed. Was it even possible someone could be so handsome? Those eyes, his hair, his skin, his eyelashes...it all screamed 'PERFECTION' at the top of it's lungs. She was powerless but to notice and fall for it. Fall _hard_. She didn't know when this attraction to Matt began, this obsession...only that it had and now she could not get out of it. Maybe before. But now, after that kiss which had been the most beautiful moment in her entire life…

"Why were you sorry?" she finally managed, the questioned that'd been burning in her since she left Matt and TK's the day before. _I'm sorry,_ he had said. She never understood why.

"For...kissing you," Matt answered, looking uncomfortable and voice lowering considerably.

Kari felt like Matt reached in and had squeezed her heart till it popped. It hurt. It hurt so fucking much. Tears were pooling up in her eyes. He regretted it? Of course he did, what else, right? It was just a momentary thing that didn't mean anything.

"Oh," she choked out, turning once more so he wouldn't see her cry.

"No, Kari!" Matt said quickly, sensing what she thought he meant and that wasn't it at all. "I just meant that you had like, broken up with TK and you were vulnerable and stuff and—" He stopped abruptly.

Kari waited patiently for him to finish that sentence. He never did.

"Why did you kiss me?" he said instead, voice quiet. He neared toward her and put his hands on her hips like it was completely natural and turned her body around so she was looking at him. At those blue eyes she had fallen so completely in love with.

"I wanted to," Kari answered faintly, impressed that she had managed to find her voice. His hands on her hips made her spine tingle and basically go numb. The urge to kiss him again was unfathomably strong.

"Why?" he pressed, voice urgent. One of his hands lifted from their very comfortable place on her hip and his thumb gently rubbed over one of the tears that was sitting on her cheek. He kissed her forehead tenderly and then leaned in, leaning his forehead against hers.

That touch alone rendered her into silence for a moment and then she spoke up again. "Because I like you, Matt."

She was just confirming what they both knew.

He raised his other hand so one was on each cheek, holding her head firmly though gingerly so it wasn't stiff and uncomfortable. His thumbs stroked the smooth skin of her cheek. She looked so young right now, so precious...and yet, so beautiful. She was always beautiful in that effortless way that made her shine so much more than those who caked on make up and lip gloss and whatever else the Ally Gonsaku's of the world did.

Christ. He was falling for her.

Or rather, he had fallen. Because all he wanted to do...

His eyes closed.

"Matt?" she prompted in a whisper.

"Yes?"

"Why are you so silent?"

He smiled serenely at that. "Wondering what the hell we're doing."

Her eyes fixed into a confused look. "We haven't done anything yet," Kari pointed out in that sensible way of hers.

His head dropped down a few inches and their lips met once more. But this time, neither was caught off guard. Matt didn't have to worry about her being vulnerable; Kari didn't have to worry about Matt being repulsed by her. Right now, this is all she could ask for.

And it totally kicked _ass_.

They continued kissing for a moment, each silently deciding Tai and Mimi wouldn't emerge for a while and that it was safe. Her hands were possessively around his neck. His were lightly exploring the sides of hips and her waist. In fact, they probably wouldn't have stopped at all if they hadn't heard footsteps coming from the staircase at the end of the hall. The two pulled apart and instantly began to fix their hair and wipe their mouths and that stupidly happy look on their faces that both possessed.

It was Mrs. Kamiya, carrying some bags of groceries.

"Hello, Matt," she said cheerfully, looking up at the taller boy. Mrs. Kamiya was exactly the same height as Kari.

"And Kari, it's good to see you! Haven't seen you since you left for Suki's yesterday."

Suki. Right. The _lie_. It didn't even make her feel guilty anymore. She smiled. "Sure. Suki's was fun."

Matt had told enough lies or covered for enough friends (read: Tai) to play it cool and not even shoot Kari so much as a questioning look.

"I'm glad, sweetheart. Now, can you open the door? These bags are heavy!"

"Sure, Mom," Kari quickly agreed, heart still racing furiously. She twisted the doorknob again.

Matt courteously took the heavier bag from her and helped her in, smiling at Kari who was holding the door open as he passed.

"Thanks, Matt," Mrs. Kamiya said gratefully, wiping her hands on a dishtowel though it wasn't as if they were dirty. Then she mumbled something about her feet hurting and disappeared into her room.

Kari could not stop the stream of giggles that erupted. "Aren't you the Boy Scout," Kari teased, going back out into the hall with Matt. Seemed safer that way because this way there wasn't as high as a risk factor of Tai and Mimi spotting them.

"I'm just helpful," Matt countered with a smile. "Boy Scouts wear the uniforms."

Kari giggled again and Matt enveloped her in his arms, smiling broadly and feeling...blissful, really. It was a great feeling. He wasn't sure what was happening with him and Kari...wasn't sure when he began to fall for her but he wanted her now. He wanted to protect her and be with her.

"I should go home and check on TK," Matt said after a small silence. The thought of TK didn't even make Kari's heart plummet downward like it generally tended to. No, she felt...okay about it. She felt okay about everything right now.

"You should," she agreed because despite it all, she was genuinely concerned with his well-being.

"Okay," he said, bending his head down to plop a brief kiss on her lips once more. He could get used to this.

Then, before either of them could react, the door swung open.

A jaw dropped.

"_Oh. My. God!" _

--------

**Authors Note:** Dun dun dun! Anyway, so I've hit 100+ reviews guys and... man, thank you SO much, everyone who has ever reviewed! -smothers with kisses- I just... sincerely, thank you. Lovelovelove. Tell me what you think of this chapterrrrrr, okay? And In ten days, I'm starting gasps grade ten! Where I live, that's the beginning of high school. Scary stuff, huh? Wish me luck!


	11. Fall Into Place

**Author's Note:** I suck. I'm a terrible, terrible, TERRIBLE person who leaves semi-cliffhangers and then doesn't update for an OBSCENE amount of time. This story is SO important to me, I promise. But I'm lazy. And I have a short attention span, writing wise. Love to do it but only can in small doses. You guys are amazing, amazing reviewers that have put up with updates that a dead snail could update with faster. So, to make up for that, this chapter has a good few pages on the length of most of my chapters. I think it's a good chapter, but the next few chapters should sizzle. Sadly, I think this story has about five more chapters of life left in it. Of course, I could be wrong. With me, I never know.

So I hope some of you guys are still reading this. Since it's been so long, here's a brief recap: Kari and TK dated, until she slowly began to fall for Matt. She went to his concert, was sick, passed out, they kissed, kissed again and dun dun, someone caught them.

So here it is. It's pretty much expired, how overdue it is. But um, better … way way way late than never? Right?

Also!! I'm not sure who it was, but someone nominated me for some Digimon fan fiction award? Whoever it was, thank you so much! It was the categories best drama and best romance. It was a surprise to see that, haha, but sooo flattering! Go vote me up! ;) freewebs . com /digimon-fanfiction-awards/about it. I will try my DAMNDEST to get the next chapter up ASAP. God knows I owe you all that much.

* * *

That day, the world as Yamato Ishida knew it, ended. 

Well, not quite. But that's how he had felt when Mimi had opened the door only to see him kissing Kari. Both him and Kari had gone completely limp, immobile. Incapable of speech, movement, even thought-- except for one: _Shit. _

"Mimi--" Kari gasped, trying to find something else to say, a means of explanation to offer but coming up with nothing. Her sentence fell short after Mimi's name and after that, she remained silent. Nothing she could possibly say or do would make this any better.

Matt's mind finally regained circulation and his thoughts went absolutely haywire. The most prominent thought was 'Tai is going to fucking kill me dead. And then beat my corpse. With my fucking guitar. I'm screwed.' Which was a shameful thing to admit, but he didn't have to actually admit it, so that was okay.

... That was _okay?_ He had not just thought that. They were standing there - him, Kari, Mimi - in possibly the world's most awkward, deranged situation and he was thinking 'hey, I don't have to admit things, so it's okay'? He was severely screwed up. But maybe if he kept thinking he'd get _so_ screwed up that this situation would magically melt away. It didn't seem possible. He tried for a brief moment. He was still there. Mimi was still there. Kari was still there. It definitely had not been possible and sadly, it wasn't even worth the shot.

"You guys-- Omigod, Kari, your crush? Who I knew but you couldn't say? Is this why you and TK broke up? Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God!" Mimi was practically having palpitations, Kari looked absolutely stricken and it was that look on Kari's face that coaxed the lion out of Matt and made him step forward, despite the lack of feeling in his legs. He wanted Kari to... well, not look so stricken, so he struggled to find some sort of defense, some sort of way to lessen the weirdness.

"Mimi," he said quietly, his tone snapping Mimi to attention. It was a gift of his. He could speak so quietly, so softly and still-- you would jump to attention. "I need you to be quiet. And I need you to not say anything about this to anyone, _especially _Tai. Okay?" His words were slow, measured and above all quiet. He did not need Tai barreling into the hallway and joining this lovely party of three.

"But you guys--" she began to squeal until Matt stepped forward once more which seemed to silence her.

"Mimi," he said again, his tone twisting into something more urgent than before. "Promise me you won't say anything to Tai. Promise me."

"But..." she whispered, finally understanding she had be quiet about this. "This is totally good! You guys must be soooo cute. Bad-boy with the wholesome chick. It's what Lifetime movies are made of!"

"This isn't a Lifetime movie," Matt reminded her calmly, peeking at the 'wholesome chick' who was looking supremely uncomfortable. He wanted to make it better for her. He needed to get through to Mimi. Too bad that's nearly a impossible task.

"Well, yeah, but--"

"No, Mimi. I mean it," Matt cut in. "Can you imagine if Tai found out? Just imagine. He wouldn't think it was cute. He'd be thinking more along the lines of bashing my head against that wall repeatedly. Think about it."

Mimi did think about it. He had a point, after all. Tai would definitely not be a fan. Understatement, actually, but still.

"It'd feel wrong to keep this from him..." she started, trailing off anxiously.

"It wouldn't be for long," Matt lied. He didn't know how long it'd be for. Maybe ever. "We really need you to do this for us." He was trying his hardest to be persuasive, using his silkiest voice. This voice was usually the one he assumed when attempting to entice females and it always worked. So while he wasn't trying to seduce Mimi (as if he ever would- she seemed like someone who would never shut up, even during sex) he figured the results had to be at least similar. Right?

Right. Mimi nodded finally, understanding his urgency. "Okay," she said, a little dazed, but that didn't last long. "Oh my Godddd, you guys are so perfect!" Mimi said with a little squeal. "Kari, you vixen, I can't believe you kept this from me! You two are so much better suited than you and TK, Kari. I mean, no offence to TK anything, God no! I love that guy like he's my own brother, but he's just as wholesome as you. And two wholesome people is _way_ too much wholesome. It'd be like eating a banana with a banana shake on the side, you know? Too much of one thing."

Kari blinked, not understanding a single word Mimi said because she was concentrating on trying to mentally command her heart to slide back down her throat and into it's proper place. "Yeah," she said dumbly. "I just-- Mimi, you won't say anything? Not a single word, to anyone?"

"I won't," Mimi promised, sticking out her pinkie. "I'll even link pinkies with you."

Kari glanced down at Mimi's finger and shook her head. "Appreciated, but not necessary. Thank you, though."

"Welcome," Mimi chirped. She leaned forward, glanced at Matt who had fallen back into his cool, casual stance and then put her lips near Kari's ear and whispered, "Nice! You're pumping me with details tonight and I'll help you guys be the next Romeo and Juliet. Minus the depressing suicides and doths and thou art's. Call me." Then, straightening up she said, "Well, gotta get down to my smoking hot vehicle to grab my smoking hot... well, you know!" She giggled, making it perfectly clear that _knowing_ was the last thing that Kari and Matt desired. She disappeared down the hallway of the apartment complex and disappeared around the corner and Matt let out a long sigh.

"Can you imagine if that hadn't been Mimi?" he asked wearily, the thought almost too horrible to bear.

"No," she said instantly, shuddering at the thought of it being Tai or her Mom. "That was definitely lucky."

"Lucky would have been not being caught at all," Matt pointed out, backing up a few steps to lean against the wall, still retaining the casual, cool-guy stance and let out a sigh.

"Is it... always going to be like this?" Kari asked, suddenly feeling timid. For the last few weeks, everything had been unsure. She had just found a moment where it wasn't unsure, where there was such a tremendous moment of clarity and now it was gone again and everything seemed more confusing than it had been before.

"No," he answered, if only because he didn't want her to worry. He had to be self assured enough for the both of them. He had to look out for Kari at all costs. Or at least, he wanted to. "Just for a while. Just til we get things figured out." It occurred to Matt that they were still standing outside, openly talking about all of this but he could also hear loud rock music coming from inside the apartment, undoubtedly from Tai's room, so the chance he could hear them was very, very, _very_ low... he hoped. "We just have to figure it out."

"Okay," Kari said, choosing to believe him. She was quiet after that, just standing there, looking apprehensive and impossibly tiny and so damn pretty that Matt wanted to take her up against the wall and kiss her until neither of them could breathe. The urge was intense and he had to step back slightly to ensure his arms didn't reach out and snatch her up. But even though there was nothing else he'd rather do in the moment, he couldn't picture it happening. He couldn't picture him ever being rough with sweet, virginal Kari who seemed to ooze virtue from every square inch of her. It's not that he was trying to put her on a pedestal or anything. He fully knew that Kari had flaws. He had even caught her lying barely a few minutes earlier when Mrs. Kamiya had asked her about Suki's. Someone who was 100 percent virtuous would not have lied to their parents and then sneak off to a concert and after party. But still, she projected the image of everything good and everything i light /i because... well, despite her flaws, she i was /i Light. She was innocent. And it was really, really hot.

"I better get home," Matt said, impulsively reaching up to touch her face. He didn't kiss her, just took her in for a moment and then offered a little lopsided smile. Home. To where a hung over T.K. was probably just waking up. He had a hell of a gongshow in store for him. Good things and bad things all seemed to overlap. Good things: the band had done awesome. Him and Kari were a something. Bad things: angry, drunken brother and getting caught by Mimi. He wanted it all to be good, but that was human nature, wasn't it? To not want to deal with all the stupid shit in life? To not want to deal with your younger brother who's exgirlfriend you were now in a secret semi-relationship thing with? It was understandable, wasn't it?

Sure it was.

And it didn't make him a bastard, right? Double-crossing both his brother and his best friend?

Sure it didn't.

Neither answer convinced him but for the sake of himself, he had to pretend.

"Okay," she answered, smiling softly, though her smile still held traces of worry. "See you when I see you."

"See you when I see you," he reciprocated, retracting his hand and turning, heading down the hallway. He was barely thinking, just moving, so it caught him by surprise when he found himself at his car. He could see Mimi at the other end of the guest parking lot, head buried in her vehicle, apparently looking for something. He knew that if she saw him, she'd barrel him with questions so he hopped into his car (okay, he opened the door and lazily slid in) and sped off before she had the chance to. He did not need to dwell more. He needed to take this all in a stride. They'd eventually work through it, of this he was positive. He just really, really would not be able to handle any questioning from Mimi right now. He couldn't even handle his own questioning.

* * *

After Matt had left Kari went back into the apartment, ignored the giggles and chuckles coming from Tai's room, dodged questions from her mom and headed straight for the bathroom. She turned the shower on, stepping into it and wincing when a blast of scalding water hit her flesh. Scrunching her body protectively, she dared to snake her hand out and turn the water to a lesser temperature. She got it so it was relaxing hot and not 'slowly torturing to you scalding hot death' hot. She stayed there, still under the water until it slowly shifted to lukewarm, until it was finally so cold that she was chattering. The hands on the martini clock that hung beside the bathroom mirror revealed it to be 9:37, a whole hour since she'd entered the bathroom. It was 7 PM and she'd come in at 6. The clock was a dumb buy on Tai's part, a dollar purchase at a garage sale. When he brought it home, it was revealed why it was so cheap (besides being ugly) -- it was broken. It would tick, but you couldn't wind it up to change the time; it would just go on from that setting. Upset, Taichi banished it to the bathroom where no one had ever gotten around to taking it down, despite how inappropriate their parents thought it was. Everyone had gotten used to the clock being two hours and 37 minutes ahead. 

She stared at the clock again. 7:04. She'd just dazed off, thinking about the clock. Pathetic.

She glanced toward the mirror. Her hair appeared curly and dark, but she knew within the half hour it would have lightened and straightened out. Suki always fingered her own wavy hair, sighed and complained saying, "It's so unfair that your hair dries straight! You were blessed, you lucky bitch." And Kari would always return with a "I'd rather have wavy hair, straight hair is so boring" even though she secretly agreed with Suki. Her immune system was crap, let her have good hair, okay?

7:05.

She decided to floss her teeth. It felt like it was morning.

7:07.

She was fidgety. She could not stop playing with her charm bracelet and she was still a little lightheaded, from standing under the shower for so long. She contemplated blowdrying her hair but she couldn't summon the energy. It's not that she was listless, she was just... well... _worried._ And with good reason. She had a lot to be worried about. And as hard as tried not to be worried, hard as she tried to tell herself that it was okay, that it would get figured out, that Tai and TK _would _understand... she was still not assured. Not one little bit. She had to have faith though, right? Had to see the "light" in the situation because that's what she stood for.

She got what she wanted. She got Matt (the idea was still surreal, but it excited her all the same). So what was with the sinking feeling? Why wouldn't it go away?

_What if Mimi tells?_ a voice nagged, interrupting her pessimistic thoughts for even more pessimistic thoughts.

_She won't_, Kari mentally argued vehemently.

_It might slip out,_ the stupid voice continued and she felt like shoving a fork into her brain to shut it up. Even the thought was way too gross (and deranged for that matter) to seriously consider.

She shuddered. She was going schizophrenic, wasn't she? Or at least a little insane.

She had to talk to Mimi.

The thought came like a fresh breeze of air and the tiny sliver of an idea for course of action eliminated the annoying voice inside her head. It faded.

_How are you going to talk to Mimi when she's virtually stuck to Tai?_ it spoke up once more.

Well. Almost.

Absentmindedly, she squirted a few drops of lotion onto her palm and rubbed her hands together and finally left the bathroom at 7:09. She now had a mission in mind: Find Mimi. Throw self at Mimi's feet and make 110 percent sure that Mimi wouldn't say anything, even if someone threatened to stain her best Jimmy Choo's.

Okay, maybe she could make Mimi swear secrecy but the last part was a longshot.

Still, she would pretend.

This sucked. Kari had been waiting _all_ night for Mimi to leave the apartment building so she could grab an opportunity to talk to her but _nooo_, heaven forbid she left her precious Tai's side! God! It's not like they were _married. _Okay, Kari wasn't actually that mad about it, because Mimi and her brother were cute and they'd been dating since they were in high school and she fully wanted to be a bridesmaid if they ever did get married.

But seriously? Would it harm them so much to stay away from each other for a few minutes, just enough time for Kari to swoop in and plead her heart out to Mimi to not breathe a word? Would it _really?_

She never got her chance to catch Mimi however, because Mimi was staying over. Why didn't her parents put a stop to this? It was … indecent. Even if they were like, twenty.

Indecent and totally cute.

She sighed, rolling over in her bed. It was 2 AM now and she still couldn't get to sleep. She hadn't talked to Matt since she left, the mere thought of talking to T.K. left a sickening feeling in her stomach and she just didn't have enough energy to talk to anyone else.

Finally, at quarter to three, Kari decided that this was ridiculous. She needed to sleep! Wasn't there something about warm milk lulling people to sleep? At this point, she was willing to try anything. She kicked off her covers, slipped on her slippers and quietly made her way to the kitchen, grabbing a mug and a jug of milk. As she was putting the mug into the microwave after filling it up with milk, she heard footsteps behind her. Her heartbeat quickened and she froze for a moment.

_Don__'__t be stupid_, she chided herself, but couldn't help but be paranoid either.

Slowly, she turned around.

"Hi!" a very dishevelled looking Mimi whispered, trying to smooth down her hair. Not that it mattered. Even Mimi, at her most dishevelled, looked like she could walk a runway or something. Unfair. "You can't sleep either? Stupid Tai is snoring like a freight train today. Usually it's light enough so it doesn't bother me but he's being all nasally so, like, whatever."

"Right," Kari agreed briskly. She was _well_ aware of Tai's annoying sleep habits and not very interested in it either. No, she'd been waiting for about eight hours now for an opportunity to talk to Mimi and now the chance had practically fallen into her lap screaming its presence. She would sieze it.

"Mimi, I have to talk to you."

Mimi blinked and nodded, taking a seat at the kitchen table. Her meticulously groomed eyebrows quirked up and she smirked. "Oh wait, let me guess! The totally torrid love affair between you and Matt!" She squealed. "Yeah! Let's talk about that, oh, pretty please. For starters--"

"Shhh," Kari interrupted in a begging tone. "What if someone _hears_ you?"

"Aww, doll, you're so paranoid!" Mimi gushed like it was absolutely the most adorable thing in the entire world. "No one will hear you, it's like, three AM," she assured the younger girl.

"Well, what if someone does?" Kari insisted worriedly. "Oh, God! What if..." She paused as an idea hit her. "Let's invent code names!"

"Code names?" Mimi repeated, scrunching her nose. "That's so ... not cool."

Kari ignore the jibe. "Well, in case we ever need to talk about or something, we can talk about our 'friend' ... um ... Katie!" she invented. "And Matt can be ... Max. And TK--"

"Can be TJ!" Mimi suggested, getting into the spirit.

"A little too obvious," Kari let her down gently. "How about..." She never found an ending to her sentence. Her mind was blank. She couldn't think of anything. "Umm..."

"Jacob," Mimi chirped.

"Jac... yeah, sure," Kari agreed, thinking Jacob was better than nothing. "Jacob it is. So, when in a situation where others could hear, always use code names."

"Do I have to use them right now?"

Kari though about that, her lips twisted in decision. "No," she finally decided.

"Okay. Awesome. So, you plus Matt equals totally hot and details for Mimi, yes/yes?"

And for the first time, Kari let out a short squeal. Up to this point it'd been nothing but constant angsting over the Matt situation. 'I think I like him.' ' know I like him.' 'I kissed him!' 'Mimi knows!' Doom, gloom, heavy stomach, etc. So she hadn't actually been able to to the necessary girly thing and squeal about it for a moment. Sure, she hated squealing but this occasion called for it. And yes, there was still doom and gloom and a heavy stomach but right now - just now - she wanted to be able to bask in the knowledge that she was quasi-dating the hottest guy ever.

"It was just so... weird," Kari summarized with a sigh.

Mimi grinned at her. "But good weird, right? Tell me, how did the whole TK thing go down?"

"Well, you are the only human being who knows. Besides, well, me at Matt. And I never cheated on him. Maybe emotionally, but ... never physically. This feelings for Matt, they just-- I can't exactly pinpoint when they began, you know?" Mimi nodded. "It just began to grow and suddenly it had flourished to something... something so out of my control. And it was like, I wanted to always be around him. I wanted to do cute and pretty things so he'd notice me which I know is so unlike me but I couldn't help it. And I felt so guilty, because here's TK, the kindest, most sincere guy I know and I liked him so much. I thought... I thought at one point that I loved him but... I don't know."

"It's possible to love someone and not be in love with them," Mimi reminded her gently.

"I know, but I don't think that was the case. That's usually with siblings and with friends and ... it doesn't pertain to me and TK. I mean, if I loved him, I would have to _love_ him. And ... it all just happened so fast. I suddenly just ... saw Matt in a completely different light. And it first I kind of hoped 'okay, small infatuation with a gorgeous, talented older guy'... it'll go away.' But it didn't. And then within the last day or so ... it escalated. It was crazy! I mean, I fainted at that party and he was so sweet, so, so sweet and I kissed him and oh my gosh, it was so awkward and ... then it all just clumsily came together and Mimi, I like him so much, what am I going to do?"

"You're going to date him," Mimi told her simply.

"Well, that's the plan, but--"

"But T.K.," the older girl filled in.

"Yep," Kari affirmed dejectedly. "I know I have been unforgivably horrible to him lately but... I care about him so much. He's the first boy I ever had real feelings for. He was one of my first best friends. And we've been through so much together and I know he likes me still and ... I don't want to hurt him."

"I'm sorry, Kari, I know you don't want to hear this but... it's kind of inevitable."

Kari let out a groan. "I was afraid of that. I just... want him to one day forgive me. And Matt. But the mere thought of even telling him makes me absolutely _cringe_. What will he say? You know what, don't answer that. Just answer this: are relationships always this hard?"

Mimi felt the relationship master at that moment, giving all this guidance to Kari. If the circumstances hadn't been so unspeakably shitty, she'd be _so_ pumped right now. She loved playing love doctor! In fact ... the gears in her head starting reeling.

"Meems?" Kari prompted, tilting her head slightly. "You still in there?"

"Oh, yeah, sorry," Mimi said quickly and apologetically. "Okay, I'm gonna put it this way for you, doll: Relationships suck sometimes. They make you their bitch. And you scream, and you fight, and you cry and if you're lucky, there's awesome make up sex but somedays it just seems so stupid and hard that you want to say 'screw this, I'm totally gorgeous, who needs Tai, I could get any guy I want' but for the most part it's like ... 'I'm the luckiest girl ever'. Except substitute Tai for Matt. Because ... gross. And yeah, love triangles suck more because usually everyone gets hurt in some way but hey, I know you, you're strong. Just ... get through this and it'll all end up okay. Because ... you know, life usually does. It gets worse than the rash you get from cheap make up but it gets bearable enough to go out in public."

Kari wrinkled her nose briefly but smiled softly at Mimi's little speech and analogy. It was definitely kind of offhand but it was ... inspiring, kind of. To know things wouldn't always suck. And maybe this could work. "You really love Tai, huh?"

Mimi smiled. "Of course. I mean, he's a total guys guy which you know, gets in the way of me being a total girly girl but ... it kinda cancels out, in a way and leaves a big ... um ... it just works." She laughed quietly. "Yeah. I love him. A lot. He makes me happy. Plus, he's a total--"

"Don't want to hear it," Kari interrupted quickly. "So... I hope this means you won't breathe a word to Tai. Or TK. Or anyone. Oh, or Sora! Hey, Meems, what's the deal on Sora and Matt?"

"Nothing much," Mimi said with a shrug. "They hang out sometimes. She's kinda interested in this one guy in his band, Trent, so she's been hanging around with him more, trying to pick up on some details. It's totally sneaky and not even a Sora thing to do. It's more of a me thing. I'm so glad I'm rubbing off on her."

"Oh.

_Oh_. That's why Sora had been seemingly attached to Matt. That's why Sora had been kind of snarky to her after the band played the other night. Because...

Kari had to laugh at how ridiculous she was. "Are you sure?"

"Sure, I'm sure. I'm her best friend, she tells me things," Mimi assured her. "How come?"

"I thought she was interested in Matt," Kari revealed, laughing a bit more. Well. That's one thing she didn't have to worry about.

"Oh, God no!" Mimi assured her. "Matt's always charmed her and impressed her and yeah, she used to have a bit of a crush on him but they worked better as friends, so tada. Oh wow, I can't believe you thought that. That's so cute! Aww."

"How is that cute?" Kari didn't understand Mimi's mind.

"It just is." She shrugged. "So, have you and Matt gone on an actual date yet?"

Kari shook her head no. "No. I wish! But too much risk of exposure. Plus this whole thing kind of just started. In fact, it's all pretty muddled." Kari instantly got worried. "What if he doesn't even--"

"Shut up," Mimi told her with a roll of her eyes. "Stop worrying." An idea began formulating in her head and she grinned. God, she was so awesome it hurt sometimes. "Alright, Kar, well, this was great and all but I think Tai stopped sleeping, so I'm gonna head to bed. Sweet dreams!"

"You too, Mimi. And thanks."

Mimi winked. "Not a problem, doll."

"Oh, and Mimi?"

"Mmmhmm?"

"Tai really loves you too."

Mimi grinned. "I know."

* * *

It was a few days later when she got the call. 

"Kari, come quick!" And then the line went dead.

Kari wondered if Mimi often specialized in nearly giving people heart attacks often because Kari could almost feel her heart stop and then swing into full force, ricocheting around and then gaining so much momentum that it crashed and brought her right back where she started. Totally freaked out.

Well. She was being just a tad bit dramatic, maybe. Side effect from hanging out with Davis too often, probably. But then again, in her defence, the message was cryptic and Mimi sounded very, very urgent. Needless to say, Kari booted it over ASAP.

Holding her breath, Kari knocked...

... and got no answer.

_Okay_.

She was officially worried.

"Mimi?" she tried calling, pressing her ear against the door tightly. "Mimi, please answer."

But there was none.

Sucking in her breath, she twisted the knob open and slowly crept in. She was suspicious and on guard, alternating glancing in front of her and behind her every few seconds.

Wait!

Did she just hear something in the kitchen?

But rather than feel like she was going to be sick, she balled her fists and burst into the kitchen.

She gasped.

No Mimi.

No … anyone.

Just a table. With two plates, some pots in the middle, was that champagne? Candles … dimmed lights. Okay, what the frakking hell was going on here?

"Kari?"

She whirled around. It was Matt.

"Matt?" She breathed out in relief and hugged him tightly. "Did Mimi call you?"

He returned the hug, wrapping his arms around her small waist and drawing her in closely. She smelled fantastic, like usual, and he didn't want to tear away but he did.

"Yeah. She just said 'come quick' and I thought something happened to someone … or maybe, for some reason, something to do with the Digital World. Either way… hey, where is she?"

"I don't know," Kari admitted, wrinkling her forehead. "Mimi! Mimi!"

"Mimi! Get your ass over--" And then his cellphone began ringing. Startled, he grabbed it from the pocket of his jeans and smirked at it. "It's Mimi."

"Ooh, give it to me, please?" Kari begged. He shrugged and wordlessly handed it over. "I hate you," was the first thing she said.

"You looove me," Mimi cooed with a giggle.

Kari glanced around at the done up dining room. Tablecloth on the table, bucket of ice with a bottle of champagne sticking out, elegant champagne glasses, food, dishes, candles … even some roses. All for them. It was so … perfect.

"You're right," Kari agreed. "I love you. I can't believe you did all this."

"Yeah, I know, aren't I the best? I made the food myself, so it's awesome, trust me -- and before you say anything I will have you know that I am a fantastic cook -- and my parents are gone until tomorrow. So if you want to get frisky, tonight's the night. No one can interrupt you or find you at my place."

Kari was almost speechless. Almost. "Thank you, Mimi. You're amazing."

"About time you noticed!" Mimi grinned. "Use condoms."

Kari's jaw fell open. "Mimi! I'm not going to… you… know." She shifted the phone's position with her ear and glanced over at Matt who's eyebrows were quirked in confusion.

"Kidding! God!" She could imagine Mimi on the other end, rolling her eyes. "Okay kids, have fun! Love you. Have fun with... er, Max."

"You're the best," Kari said quickly before she hung up and then turned to Matt, handing over the phone and shaking her head with a grin. "Mimi did this for us. Since we can't have a 'normal' date and all."

"Yeah?" Matt's eyes lit up and he wrapped Kari up in his arms once more, angling his neck so he could nip at the underside of her jaw in a way that sent her eyes practically rolling back in bliss. "I'm going to have to buy her a present," he said quietly, his hot breath on her skin.

She could barely stand it. "Let's eat."

"Let's eat."

* * *

"Wait, so, you really were spying on me?" Matt asked her incredulously, trying not to laugh and fail miserably. He was referencing back to the incident where she had been caught on the stairs staring at him. Yeah. Good times. Not. Then again, all of that had mingled together to bring her to this … perfection. Only word that worked. 

"No!" she protested, blushing _furiously_. "I wasn't! I was just … you happened to be there."

"And of course, you thought, 'Man, he's so hot' and stared on for like an hour--"

"A _minute_--"

"Practically _begging _me to notice you--"

"Mortified that you had!"

She was blushing even more now. Damn, was that ever sexy in a very precious, understated way. It was weird. Matt's usual type was tall, leggy and in-your-face-hot. The girl was usually flirtatious, outrageous and confident.

And then usually not too long later, he'd find another one to fit the criteria. He usually liked to switch up hair colors too. Brunette, blonde, redhead- that was the cycle. There were, of course, exceptions.

Kari was tall and leggy, but she was not in-your-face-hot. She wasn't very flirtatious, she wasn't outrageous and she wasn't overwhelming confident.

God help him, but he wanted her so badly anyway. And it wasn't just a physical thing, either. He was the first to admit: he had a fair bit of casual sex. He was in his prime, why not bask in it, right? But Kari … she was someone he could love. Someone that he genuinely liked being around. And it all had happened so fast, she had always been there but suddenly she wasn't just … little Kari, Tai's sister, TK's girlfriend. She was Kari- smart and strong and beautiful and had completely gotten under his skin without even trying.

… He wasn't becoming like, whipped, was he? As in Shakespeare sonnets and tragedy and love and stuff, though all the swordfights in the movies were way cool.

Nah.

Not even Kari could strip him of his manhood.

… So … so… _hah!_

Kari smiled adorably at him. "Whatcha thinking about?"

Yeah, like he could tell her that. "That you're beautiful."

A smile broke out on her face and she glanced down, laughing a little sheepishly. "I still can't believe Mimi did this for us … she's a godsend." She glanced down at her half-empty plate. The champagne had been opened but only Matt had taken a drink from it. His champagne glass was already drained, two times over.

He nudged her elbow with his. "Have some champagne. You're making me feel like an alcoholic, babe."

She shook her head at first but at his hilarious and exaggerated eyebrow wiggling, she relented with a grin.

"You're a bad influence," she told him with a small wink, wagging her finger.

"Part of my charm," he assured her, squeezing her hand.

"Oh yeah?" she challenged, raising her eyebrows. "Charming people by corruption?"

"I'm not sure champagne necessarily counts as … 'corruption.' Besides, you can't corrupt someone who doesn't want to be corrupted."

"Oh really?"

"Really." He skipped a beat and smirked. "You want to be corrupted?"

"Depends," she answered, uncharacteristically coy.

"On?"

"What's in it for me?"

He had to laugh at that. This conversation was so ludicrous, but it was easy and fun and he just felt so … comfortable. "You mean _besides_ a life of crime and general … you know, general evilness?"

She paused before answering solemnly, "Yes."

"I'd dig it."

"And if I didn't?"

He squeezed her hand again. "I'd like it even more. Never go corrupt, okay?"

She glanced at the champagne she had taken a drink of guiltily. "Well…"

"I don't mean _that_," he said, rolling his eyes and getting out of his chair suddenly, abandoning his plate and immediately going over around to table to her. He nodded upward and lent out his hand, which she took to get herself up. "I'm just saying, the whole innocent thing is a _major_ turn on."

"That so?" She kissed him, with that, taking in his scent. He smelled like … like expensive cologne mixed with … vanilla? He had probably been baking. She grinned at that. It was so funny sometimes. Here he was, huge rocker, major heartthrob and total bad ass. And he cooked. She had to laugh a little.

"Oh yeah," he confirmed, mumbling against her lips. His hands were lightly set on her hips though they were itching to explore the rest of her body. It was hard to feel guilty about deceiving Tai and TK when they were so _damn close_.

They started kissing more intently, Kari carefully following Matt's lead. He wasn't … aggressive, per se, but he wasn't exactly gentle either. Not like TK. TK always made sure, TK never went too far. He never went anywhere even in earshot in too far. But maybe Kari needed this. The intensity. The guarantee of desire on his part, that he wanted her, he wanted _all_ of her. Maybe she needed to be pushed, just a little bit.

Gaining confidence, she shed her sweater inbetween kisses, leading him out of the kitchen and toward one of the plush couches in the Tachikawa living room. They gently transitioned onto it, until they were horizontal on the couch, her (surprisingly) on top. His lips seemed to mold so nicely with hers.

And as she was kissing him, she finally got it. Temptation. How hard it was to resist sometimes. Why people made mistakes- because it was easy to. It was easy to keep going. It was so easy.

But it wasn't _right_. Because she simply was not ready for it to go further. Therefore, after a moment she pulled away and smiled at him softly. "Think we should go?"

He understood completely, and nodded. "Sure." He closed his eyes for a moment and another thought occurred to him. "Or we could just … talk. You know. Just talk."

And talk they did. She called her parents, saying she was at Suki's studying and was it okay if she stayed over, despite it being a school night? The answer had been a tentative yes, but a yes nonetheless. Matt called TK to say he was gonna be hanging out with the band all night. And both of them felt bad about lying, of course, but not that bad. Because it was hard to be miserable when the person you cared for _so_ deeply was lying in your arms, breathing to the same pattern as you and quietly mumbling their dreams and aspirations and secrets.

* * *

Good? Bad? Bood? Gad? ;D Let me know, with the shiny button! Submit review, whatever it says. Really! 144 reviews ... that's amazing, guys. You're also fucking AWESOME! Anyone who has ever supported this story, MUAH TO YOU!

Also, for curiositities sake: **How many of you only became Yakari fans after reading this story?**


	12. Meet the Fan

**Author's Note: **STILL ALIVE GUYS!! Surprised? Probably. It's been about an eternity since I've updated and I won't even bother to make excuses because what is there? School, work, a social life and that I had no muse for this story for the longest time. I wanted to write it, but I couldn't find the words. But I basically wrote the second half of this chapter in one night so if there's spelling errors, that's why, haha. Anyway, if any of my readers are still here ... read on, haha! The last chapter saw Matt and Kari finally getting a peaceful date and realizing they really, really liked each other. In case you know, you don't remember since it's been a million years, which I understand. I do!

I promise every time that I'll try to update sooner, but I'll still try! I think I have an idea of how I want to next chapter to go, so, you know. Plus this story has to end sometime! It's winding down.

Anyway, 177 reviews is fucking AMAZING!! Anyone who's ever read a word of this story is awesomesauce! I love you all. I'll love you more if you're still here, still reading despite my nearly year-long absence. Anyway, DSOL lives on. And I guarantee you, it WILL get a proper ending. Dunno how long it'll take but ... you know, that's something?

This chapter is by far the longest of them all. I hope it's satisfying enough! If not, well, I tried and you can't please them all. Oh yea, and DSOL won one of the Digimon fanfic awards back in the day! For Best Romance! Thanks to anyone who voted. I LOVE THE HECK OUTTA YA. Okay, it's 2 in the morning and I have to go to school tomorrow morning ... so I will conclude this author's note.

I love you all!

* * *

It'd been a long few weeks since the fateful day he did three things for the very first time:

one- broke up with Kari  
two - got drunk  
and three- swore at his brother.

He was not proud of himself for any of those things. And ever since those things that happened, it'd been such a fine line between him and Kari and him and Matt. So … awkward. It wasn't right. And he found himself pining for the days that him and Kari would be all couply and cutesey and Matt would make fun of them and none of that was happening now. Matt barely seemed to look him in the eye. Kari tried, tried making attempts at jokes and conversation, but it always went awry. And she always seemed nervous. Always seemed fidgety. He didn't understand it.

Know what else he didn't understand?

How it all just … happened. How it was perfect and it was picturesque and then it all fell to shambles quicker than he could snap his head up and go 'what'? It was broken and terrible and it made him feel so uneasy. So when had everyone changed? When had everyone stopped being who they used to be and became … what were they now? And why he was still the exact same person, sitting in the middle and looking out to everyone, to _anyone,_ wishing someone could just explain what the hell was going on?

"Takeru, are you all right?" Mr. Ishida asked TK somewhat distractedly, digging into his dinner.

"Mm?" TK answered with a blink and then put on a smile for his father. "Yeah, Dad, I'm good! Thanks. I just … where's Matt?"

"Out," Mr. Ishida answered simply with a small shrug.

TK nodded, but really he was thinking, 'As usual.'

And with that sardonic little thought he caught himself wondering if he _had_ changed. If it counted as 'changing' to resort to drinking when suffering from inaugural heartbreak when your long term girlfriend basically pretends you don't exist anymore... if it counted as changing to come home drunk at five in the morning.

Why was basketball season over? He could use a good game right now. With his lanky frame, he seemed to be _made_ for basketball. Matt had all the girls, all the popularity and everyone _adored_ him and his awesome rocker ways. He was in the spotlight always, even without trying. But TK actually felt _useful_ out on the court. And it was during those games, when he got the game winning points second before the buzzer rang and _everyone_ cheered for him. Yeah, he felt good. So maybe he was changing too.

But he would be damned if he was going to be the only one standing still. No way. He was even going to prom with Ally Gonsaku, because she was dropping hints like anvils, but he'd stressed to her a million and one times that they were going _just as friends_. Friends, friends, friends.

Was this moving on?

Maybe.

But there was still a huge piece of him that wanted Kari back. They'd been together for so long and at first he had forgotten how to function properly without her. The first week without her had been terrible.

So why had she changed her mind? Why was he suddenly _not good enough?_

... Was there someone else?

Had she cheated on him?

No! He refused to think that way. Besides, Kari would never, ever, ever ... right?

He hated himself for doubting her.

But he had to know. Because whoever said ignorance was bliss was clearly off their rocker.

* * *

"No," muttered Tai angrily to himself, even though he was on a couch with two other people. "No!"

Kari and Matt looked at each other with a long sigh. Matt and Tai were on opposite ends of the couch, with Kari in the middle and they were all watching TV. At least, they were _trying_ to watch TV but Tai kept changing the channel every five seconds. They had rotated through the channel cycle at least four times already. Tai was fidgeting and tapping his feet and just being generally restless. He could be pretty annoying sometimes, but this was topping it.

"Tai," Kari said soothingly, trying to initiate eye contact with her brother. "It's just TV. Maybe you should take a break." At that moment, Matt's hand (inappropriately) begin tickling hers, obscured from Taichi's view by a pillow, and she had to bite her lip to keep from smiling. He had been doing that the past hour, and squeezing her knee, and rubbing her thigh and it had been hard to not giggle and grin.

Tai frowned at his sister and got up flippantly. "A break," he muttered, almost manically, to himself. "A break. Okay… okay." He ran a finger through his hair and turned stiffly, retreating to his room almost mechanically. A moment later, they heard loud rock music blaring from inside Tai's four walls.

"What's got his panties all knotted up into … a very stressful bunch?" Matt inquired with a yawn, finger-combing his hair.

"I don't know," Kari said worriedly, frowning a bit. "I'm kind of worried."

"Me too," Matt admitted, and then skipped a beat. "Know what cures that?"

"Hmm?"

Matt leaned forward and kissed her quickly, briskly, glancing around before and after the kiss. No one. Safe.

"Matttt!" she chastised, nudging him. "What if Tai saw?" she whispered under her breath.

"You're right," he said, all business-like with a nod.

…. And yet, they met at the middle, lips finding each other, like freaking magnets or something. If they had been a married couple, this would have been the honeymoon stage. It'd been about a week since the date at Mimi's house. The weather was getting increasingly nicer, and graduation loomed closer. Things with TK were still strained, especially since she didn't even have the nerve to look him in the eye. Even Suki and Davis were looking at her curiously, and it made her feel like crap, but she had to keep lying, keep up with this little web she was spinning, because if it all unraveled, she would lose Matt, she would lose so much.

Kari was not a stupid girl. She knew this whole situation was glaringly wrong and believe her, it haunted her constantly but Matt had become dear and important to her now. She always wanted him around, always wanted to be near him, to be touching him. And these feelings overrode everything else, whether she liked it or not. So one neat lie turned into a tangled mess of many … and she kept twisting it around and around because it was easier than dealing with it. They weren't ready to go public, and she ignored the little voice in her head that said they would never be ready.

Their make out session continued on for a few moments, probing tongues and hands, mouths desperate to explore the others, the compulsive yearn for him that never seemed to go away.

Kari shifted her position slightly, so her back was to the arm of the chair and Matt crept forward slightly, scooping up her waist with an arm and propping her up slightly and then using his lips to travel up her neck, teasingly…

All while Tai was a few doors down.

When they heard a door creak, the both jumped up and instantly smoothed down their hair (well, Matt did) and assumed their best innocent and 'we're just talking about mundane things, like toothpaste' stature.

Playing it cool, Kari glanced up at who was there. It was her Dad and she got up and grinned. He'd left early and come home late the past few days, and she had missed him. "Hi!" she greeted him brightly, wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing his cheek, feeling guilty because those same lips had just been all over Matt's. "How come you're home so early?"

"I gotta head back to the office, unfortunately," Mr. Kamiya said with a sigh, kissing Kari's forehead. "I just came to get some documents. All very unfun business stuff. It's not pleasant." He turned to head toward his office in the apartment, but noticed Matt and nodded at him in greeting with a small smile. "Hi, Matt. How are you? How's your dad and TK?"

"Um... My dad is good. He's home, finally, he was just on a business trip. And uh, TK..." He shot a desperate look at Kari. As far as the TK situation went, he had no idea how much Kari's parents knew about it.

"TK's doing good," Kari filled in quickly. .

"Ahh, well, good," he said pleasantly. "Tell your Dad I say hi, Matt."

"I will," Matt promised, eyes darting back from Kari's as he shot her a 'thank you' look, because he obviously hadn't been cool enough to think of a nice simple response like that.

Mr. Kamiya disappeared into his office for a moment and then came back out, ready to leave once more. "See you kids!" And then the door closed behind him.

"What does your family know?" Matt asked immediately.

Kari sighed. She didn't need specifics to have to know what Matt was talking about. TK. Tai obviously knew they were broken up. He didn't exactly know why, just kinda figured it had happened, and was being abnormally respectful about it and staying out of their business. She had mentioned that her and TK had broken up to her parents, but she didn't divulge details for that either. It was all very hazy and unsure, but the bottom line was that her and TK were not together. Her family would just have to step into the halls of her high school to find out what went on. Every time she and TK were even in the same room, the whispers started up again. It was nobody's business, but no one seemed to understand this.

"They know we broke up," she told Matt. "They don't know why. They just know we're not together. I'm not good with ... that stuff. I freak out and I'm just not cool."

"No," Matt agreed, and cocked an eyebrow devilishly, his hands creeping toward hers and squeezing them. "You're hot."

Kari blushed, but before she could string words together as a response, they heard the creaking of a door again and Kari thanked every cosmic … whatever that existed in the universe that came together to make those doors squeaky and therefore giving them ample warning time. Matt's hands sprung away and they shifted to opposite ends of the couch. Kari pretended to be transfixed with the show on TV and Matt had pulled out his wallet and was flipping through that.

Tai appeared, looking more contained than his jittery self before, but still worried. He glanced at Kari, then at Matt, and then nodded out toward the hall. "Can I talk to you, man?"

"Uh… sure," Matt answered, caught a bit off guard. He glanced at Kari, to see if she knew what this was about but she looked just as lost as he did.

… What if he knew something?

Oh, Christ.

Stomach suddenly lurched, he climbed up off the couch and followed Tai into the hall, closing the door firmly behind him. He took a moment to glance over his best friend, trying to decipher what this situation was all about. Taichi was rocking slightly on both feet, like he was trying to pacify himself and Matt understand that whatever Tai was wanting to talk to him about, it was clearly making him anxious.

He didn't know if he should talk first, and just as he was deciding, Tai began to speak.

"I'm gonna ask Mimi to marry me," Tai finally said, saying the words quick and in a rush. He took a deep breath to steady himself and ran his hands through his hair again. Obviously, this had been on his mind forever. And with good reason. Him and Mimi had been dating since senior year of High school. The couple had practically come out of nowhere, one day Mimi was dating this really hot popular guy, the next day she was dating Tai (who was also considered hot and popular, but it was also .. _Tai!_). It was random, and somewhat ridiculous, because they fought constantly, but hey, it worked out.

So Matt grinned. "That's fucking awesome man. I'm glad for you.When are you popping the question?"

"Tomorrow night," Tai confided, and he looked so young and scared but excited and full of hope. It was such a great mixture of so many things and Matt was happy for his friends.

"Fancy restaurant?" Matt asked with a little smirk.

"Of course," answered Tai. "This is Mimi we're talking about. If I'm gonna do it up, I'm gonna do it up right. Or else she'd just be insulted. So, there will be champagne, I'll give her the big speech on what a big part of my life she is and how I love her, and then I'll just ... do it. Anything else I should throw in?"

"Orchestra playing her favorite song?"

Tai frowned. "No, that's lame. You watch way too many chick flicks."

Matt opened his mouth to protest but Tai silenced him. "Okay. So, that's out. And next on the list... I'm kind of getting ahead of myself here, but I figure I may as well ask, because hey, what the hell, why wait, right? So--"

"You're rambling," Matt interrupted, still smirking.

"Right. Okay, will you be my Best Man? And don't say no, because I'll punch you."

"I..." Matt's little smirk turned into a full-fledged grin. "Dude, of course I will."

"Great!" Relief ripped through Tai, and it was evident by his huge grin that outclassed Matt's. "So... should we like ..."

"Hug?" Matt finished his question, his face twisted in thought.

"Yeah," Tai affirmed, sticking his hands in his jean pockets, awkwardly shifting around on his feet.

They looked at each other for a moment and then shrugged. "Nah, we're cool," Tai decided. "So... I'm gonna head out. I'm gonna go let Sora know. She can help me with girlie preparations for tomorrow. You and her are the only ones who know, and keep it that way, alright? I can't have Mimi finding out." He nodded toward the end of the corridor. "You coming with?"

"Huh? Oh... um... I gotta grab my crap. Maybe something to eat. No groceries at home. Would your Mom mind?" Matt answered quickly.

"Nah. Alright, later man. And..." Tai hesitated for a moment, but shot Matt a warm smile. "Thanks."

"You're welcome. And hey... congratulations."

"Thanks," Tai said again, still smiling, and then went down the long hallway, disappearing around the corner. Matt sighed out and went back into the apartment, ultimately relieved that Tai didn't know something about him and Kari. And the whole Best Man thing had put him in a great mood.

"You look happy," Kari commented with a smile. She was at the kitchen counter now, pouring herself a glass of pineapple juice.

"I am happy. Look, you can't tell anyone but... Tai is proposing to Mimi tomorrow night."

"Tomorrow?" Kari nearly squealed, eyes widening. She clapped her hands in sheer joy. "Oh, that's beautiful! I'm so glad!"

"And, check it, look at who's going to be the Best Man." He waved his hands with a flourish, as if presenting himself. Giddy, and drunk off happiness, Matt leaned forward and kissed Kari, completely sure no one was around.

And then... his stomach knotted.

"What's wrong?" Kari asked, pulling away and tilting her head in concern.

Matt mentally marveled at how intuitive Kari was. In less than five seconds, she realized something was wrong with Matt. Though that could be attributed to the fact that his body had gone rigid, and he stopped kissing her enthusiastically. "It's just..." His voice had gotten much quieter. _I'm making out with his sister behind his back, and I'm his best man._ But he couldn't say that to Kari. "What does a best man get his best friend for a gift? It's gotta dominate."

"We'll brainstorm," Kari promised.

"Brainstorm. Brainstorm. Sounds good. But I, uh, gotta leave. Band practice."

"Band practice?" Kari repeated, confused. "I thought you didn't have band practice until next week."

"Oh, yeah. I... no." He was tripping over every word as they clumsily spilled out. "Band practice. Now. Today. Gotta go." He kissed Kari again, and then left the apartment, sighing heavily. He was a terrible person. And all these lies and guilty heavy-weight feelings were going to catch up with him eventually. But he couldn't stop now. He was in too deep, and he liked it, very much ... guilty heavy-weight feelings and lies be damned.

But he needed to breathe right now, and concentrate on something other than why he was such a terrible fucking person and hypocrite.

* * *

The next day at school, Kari was walking down the hall with Suki to -- _ugh! ­­-- _P.E. It's not that she had something against being forced to do humiliating physical activity in front of her classmates. It's that she had _everything_ against it. So she was procrastinating

"-- And my mom blamed me!" Suki continued, from her ramble about the newest family drama in her life. "And the stupid little brat she is, she got off. _Again_. Life is so unfair to me lately. I mean, first stupid Claus cancels on me for prom because of his skanky formerly ex now current girlfriend -- serves me right for accepting an offer from a guy named Claus -- and now my family has made it their personal goal to drive me crazy! How is that fair, Kari? "

Kari offered a helpless shrug her friends way, playing with the bracelets on her wrist, ashamed to admit that she wasn't really listening. So she didn't admit it. She was nodding in all the right places and making the right faces and 'hmm' noises, but she wasn't actively involved in the conversation. No, her thoughts were swimming amidst a pool named Matt. As per usual. But it wasn't the usual lovey-dovey blissful thoughts. It was worry from their last interaction. He had been so happy, so playful, and then the next moment that all fell away and he became detached. She didn't understand it.

"Kari! You listening? Do _not_ make me kick your ass, you know I hate violence. What's wrong?"

"Hmm," Kari said with a nod, still dazed and then let Suki's words catch up with her thoughts and opened her mouth and amended with a, "Hmm? Oh! Nothing is wrong! I'm just thinking about Calculus... it's bound to be terrible today."

"Uh huh," Suki said dryly, rolling her eyes. "Kari. Sweetheart. Why do you insist on insulting my intelligence?"

"Pardon?" Kari replied, eyes slightly wounded. "I don't!"

"You're a shitty liar, Kari. And granted, my stories about the brat and Claus the Louse aren't exactly thrilling, but you just gotta tell me if you want out of the convo. Now, once more - What's up? Oh!" Her eyes lit up slightly, as if there had been a little 'click' in her head. "Is it about Matt?" she whispered, as a group of giggling freshman brushed by them. Pulling Kari off to the side, she raised her eyebrows. "Is it?"

Kari had told Suki the entire story about the her and Matt saga. Suki was her closest girl friend and she deserved to know. Suki hadn't exactly... approved, but she had understood. After all, Suki was still TK's friend too. She couldn't expect her to be one hundred percent on her side. Not that there were sides... were there? She could imagine herself, facing off with TK, both stepping on either side of a thick, red line... it wouldn't turn into that, would it? Would there be a metaphorical thick, red line?

_Stop_, she told herself and then offered Suki a pathetic little smile. "Yes. I don't want to make something out of nothing but he was really weird yesterday," Kari began gingerly, her pretty face twisted up in thought, looking older than it should.

"Weird," Suki repeated, knitting her eyebrows. "Elaborate?"

"We were fine," Kari confided, a sigh emitting from her as she leaned back, propped up against the wall. "Everything was good. And then all of a sudden, he got sort of ... he just made up some excuse about his band and fled. Like I said, it was just weird. And I may be making something out nothing. But I can't help worrying."

"Of course you can't," Suki said with a sigh. "Your brain needs a vaycay from worrying, chicklet. Listen, give it a day. It may just be some weird male thing. You know how weird that species is. Can you do that for me?"

Kari bit her lip. "I guess--"

The final bell rang. Oh, crap. They were both late for class.

"Can we skip?" Suki begged, eyes darting from Kari to the locker room door that was just a half a hallway down. "We can probably escape before Mrs. Lan even notices, if we hurry--"

"You know I can't," Kari said, sighing, legs quickening in pace. "I have to keep my average up."

"For Valedictorian, right. You're too virtuous," Suki muttered, pulling her shirt up over her head as they entered the change room, reaching for her ratty gym shirt.

Valedictorian? Truthfully, Kari had forgotten all about being in the running for Valedictorian until Suki had reminded her. With all the things on her mind, it had been easy to forget about. But now that the thought was back in her head, she felt motivated again. Being Valedictorian would be an amazing honor, and she knew she had the grades for it. Academics came as naturally to her as athletics came to Tai. But just because she had the grades for it didn't necessarily mean she deserved it. After all, she felt so morally corrupt these days.

"Right," she said. "Valedictorian. And… what did you say? Virtuous?" Kari had to smile at that, but it was one laced with irony. These days she felt like the last thing from virtuous.  
"Well, maybe not so much these days," Suki amended, giggling as she pulled her thick black hair up into an impromptu, disastrous bun.

Kari sighed. She knew. "Let's go to class."

"You mean sweaty, disgusting hell."

"That's a hyperbole."

"Hyper-what?"

"Never mind."

* * *

Gym class hadn't been as bad as Kari had anticipated. It had been worse. They had had some Nazi substitute teacher who looked like a drill sergeant or something. Literally. He used to be in the Navy or something. The class had been forced to run laps, carry out suicides, and by the end of the class, suicide was a very appeasing thought. Gasping for a water fountain, she wondered when she had gotten so out of shape. Her heart felt like it was going to jump up her throat, it was hammering so bad. Her legs felt like rubber, and she probably smelled disgusting.

And cue Davis, in her moment of shining glory.

"Kari! Kari!"

She turned around, wondering exactly to what degree she should feel humiliated. Her normally straight hair was frizzing at the sides from the sweat and her face was probably shiny and red. She certainly wasn't a vapid narcissist but she had some freaking respect, for crying out loud!

She smiled anyway, the coin-operated Kari doll smile that she turned on when she wasn't sure she could depend on her real one.

"Davis, Davis," she joked back, throat itching in desperation for water. Hopefully this would be quick so she could dunk her entire face into the water fountain sans witnesses.

"So… I have a … _question_ for you."

The way he wriggled his eyes for emphasis at the word 'question' had her seriously doubting this would be quick. Deciding to hydrate herself before the conversation proceeded any longer, she shaped the Kari doll smile into a softer one, held up one finger and then bent her head and switched on the water, slurping it up greedily and definitely not in a very lady-like manner. When she was done, she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand (uncouth, but it's all she had) and then turned back to him.

"Okay. A, uh, question. Shoot."

"Will you go to Prom with me?"

She was shocked into silence.

A long silence.

Still silence.

The silence was interrupted when teenagers began to bustle out of the locker rooms, lining up in the hallway and waiting for the bell to ring so they could vanish to their next class. Kari shad yet to change and she didn't want to be late for another class. Lates didn't look good on the Valedictorian.

"L-look, Davis," she finally managed to stammer out, eyes darting around nervously. "Can we talk later? I still have to change and --"

"Shit, I've totally just freaked the crap out of you, haven't I? Dude, I'm sorry," Davis apologized, genuinely looking sorry. "I just figured since T.K's going with that Ally chick, that you were S.O.L. on a date and gallant white knight that I am, wanted to offer my services."

The only thing Kari retained from all that was 'T.K's going with that Ally chick'. She felt blood boil somewhere underneath her skin, which was not only preposterous, it was highly unacceptable! She was making out with T.K.'s brother on a daily basis, and not only that, she was becoming dangerously attached to him. She treated T.K. like crap for him. She was not allowed to be angry about T.K.'s choices in life, no matter how wrong they were, no matter how irritating Ally was. She had made her choice and he had made his. It was just ... God! Why did she feel like this?

Swallowing, she smiled again at Davis, but it was a real one, not a Kari doll one. "You're so sweet. So very sweet. And If I were going, I'd take you up on it. I would. But ... I'm not going to Prom. I'd hug you right now, you know, if I weren't so sweaty and gym-like."

He shrugged. "Hey, no harm, no foul. But really, you're gonna miss out on your Senior Prom? Because of a break up? I mean, I guess I get it, but you sure?"

Not completely. "Yes. I am." But she could pretend she was. "Anyways, it's not really my thing. Tight dresses, heels and liters of hairspray? I'll manage without it." Down talking Prom like this was helping to convince herself that she really didn't want to go.

"Unfortunately, I can't manage without a date." He chewed his lip up for a moment, probably scanning the rapidly dwindling potentials list. After all, Prom was so close that most people had already locked in a date.

Kari instantly thought of Suki, who always deflected Davis's harmless flirting and silly ways, but always found him entertaining at least. Which could make for a good prom date. "Suki," she suggested.

He looked doubtful. "You think?"

Kari nodded. "I know she has no date. I mean, she did have one, but he got back together with his girlfriend left her high and dry. You can be _her_ white knight."

"If she says no, I'm blaming you," he warned.

Kari chuckled. "Warning received. But I really do have to change now and get to class. So, see you after school. And thanks. Really."

"No problem. Seeya, Kar."

As she treaded back to the change room, she breathed in and out slowly.

Ally? _ALLY?_It bothered her, it did, but strangely ... she was not as bothered as she once would have felt. This was good, right?

Or bad.

Depending on how you look at it.

* * *

Later that night, while Kari was just finishing up the last of her Calculus, she heard a large whooping accompanied by the slamming of the door.

"Family!" Tai called out, and Kari grinned. Today was the day that Tai was going to ask Mimi to marry him. She must have accepted. Leaping up from her desk chair, she put on her best naive face and gathered around by the front entrance where her parents were already standing.

"I have some important news," Tai began, puffing his chest out. His hair was neatly combed, he was wearing a suit and his face was flushed with what she could only presume was happiness.

"You do?" Mr. Kamiya said.

"Tai, your hair looks wonderful! I should grab a camera!" said Mrs. Kamiya.

"Yes, and err, pass. But uh, alright, listen. You guys may be mad that I didn't tell you about this first, but see, I didn't want to jinx myself. Okay. Here it goes. Mimi and I are officially engaged."

Their parents mouths popped open, along with their eyes and Kari clasped her hands together and shrieked.

"Tai! Congratulations, oh my God! That's wonderful!" She wrapped her arms around him in a tight hug, and their parents followed suit and soon Kari was caught in this massive tangle of Kamiya's and happy shrieks and laughter.

"Can't breathe," Tai joked with a mock-gasp but it got the message across and his happy family members backed up a bit.

"You must have an engagement party!" Mrs. Kamiya spoke up, suddenly looking as if she were off in her own world. "With balloons and candles and gourmet cooking! There can be a dance floor! And DJ!"

"Woah, woah!" Taichi put his hands up. "Save it for the reception, mom. In which we'll be more than happy to let you pitch in as much as you want. But yeah, me and my fiancee-- He grinned --decided to have an impromptu thing. On Friday.

... This ... Friday?" Mrs. Kamiya asked with a look of horror.

"... Yes...?"

She gasped. "But that's only three days away!! That's barely any notification at all! No one will come!"

"Sure they will," Kari piped up. "If they really care, at least!"

"Exactly! If they're really friends, they'll push around any other meaningless crap they have planned to come and celebrate and get drun-- uhhm, happy!

"You were about to say drunk," Mrs. Kamiya accused.

"It's my engagement party! I plan to get married only once. Cut me some slack, mom," Tai argued.

"One beer, that's it," she said sternly.

"One?!"

"Fine. Two."

"Dad?"

"Listen to your mother, son," Mr. Kamiya told Tai with a nod. "Two beers."

Mrs. Kamiya smiled triumphantly, but when she couldn't see, Mr. Kamiya held up five fingers. Taichi smirked.

"So, anyway, where is the party going to be?" Kari asked excitedly, eyebrows raised.

"Well ... we were thinking ..." Tai appeared nervous again. "You know, here."

"Here?" Kari asked, incredulously.

"Here?" Mrs. Kamiya repeated, more horrorstruck than before.

"Sounds good to me," Mr. Kamiya said with a shrug.

"Why not at The Tachikawa's house?" Mrs. Kamiya demanded. "It's probably nicer than here!"

"Exactly! It's too nice. No one will go over there, they'll be afraid to break all that fancy crap. But here, who gives?"

"Thanks," Mrs. Kamiya muttered while Kari giggled.

"Anyway, it'll be a small party, and I'll clean up," Tai continued, though they were both highly unlikely, knowing him.

"I'll help," Kari backed him up. She was secretly dating his best man, the least she could do was help clean up the ruins of his engagement party. The thought of Matt made her head spin again but she took a breath.

"Well, okay!" Mrs. Kamiya gave in. "After all, you're going to get married! Oh, Tai, we're SO proud!"

And Mr and Mrs Kamiya closed around Tai again while Kari stood to the side and laughed.

And even though Tai was squished in-between his two deliriously happy parents, complaining every moment of the way, there was something in his eyes, something in his face that betrayed to Kari that he was happier than she'd ever seen him. And he deserved that, he did, for everything he'd done for her, for everyone, for every brave choice he'd ever made, every sacrifice. He was her brother and she was so freaking proud. And now he was getting married to Mimi.

It was like a fairy tale. With shin pads and Gucci purses and lots and lots of alcohol.

* * *

Since word of the engagement got out, the rest of the week had flown by. Everyone had been excited, mildly surprised, but mostly excited. Mimi was on a permanent high on life. Just a glance at her ring and she'd be deliriously happy for hours. Mimi had asked her to be a bridesmaid which she'd been honored to accept.

And now it was Friday, the night of the engagement party.

Kari smiled at herself in the mirror. She had a good feeling about tonight. Her hair was curled, something that it rarely was, and she was wearing the outfit she had bought with Mimi a while ago. It fit better than she remembered. She was wearing the tiniest spritz of perfume, and even a little make up. A dash of mascara and some lip balm. She felt good. Hopefully she looked it too.

Not everyone was able to come to the impromptu engagement party but quite a few people were. They'd be coming soon. There'd be cake, drinks, probably embarrassing stories and there'd be music.

Matt was coming, and so was T.K. But she wasn't worried. Matt had called the house to let them know he'd be there, and he'd ever so conveniently called at a time where he knew no one but here would be at the house. He hinted that he couldn't wait to see her and things seemed normal.

As for T.K... well, they didn't have to talk, did they? Or maybe the party atmosphere would allow them to have casual conversation. They could start to forge a friendship again.

Kari felt very, very optimistic.

* * *

An hour and a half later, the party was in full swing.

There were streamers and balloons -- per Mrs. Kamiya's request -- and a combination of pop music and punk music, the combined tastes of Mimi and Tai. People were dancing and eating and enjoying themselves in the Kamiya's apartment and Kari smiled to herself. This was great. There was about twenty people or so, just chilling out and having a good time. There had been more earlier but the adults had all slinked off to a nearby restaurant for some drinks and adult-chitchat and left behind the teenagers and young adults. The whole gang was there. All of the important people. Mimi and Tai looked blissful, and Mimi was showing off her ring to anyone who'd look. Tai had been saving for years and years, since high school, with after school jobs and when he had gotten older, he'd made quite a bit coaching soccer teams. Their mom and dad took care of his college education, but he'd been saving for the future. And apparently, the rock he'd given Mimi. It was beautiful. Not too flashy, but flashy enough. Modest and perfect. It was perfect. _They_ were perfect. This night was perfect.

Kari excused herself to the bathroom, and as soon as she came out, Matt appeared in front of her, grabbed her hand and in an instant they had managed to cross the hallway and went into Kari's room.

"Did I tell you how beautiful you look tonight?" Matt asked her quietly as his hands made themselves comfortable on her body She giggled as his hands rested on her hips, but was instantly shushed by his lips. He had her up against the door, and her insides felt like they were going to explode. She kissed him back, her hands finding his hair as he tilted her head slightly to gain access to her neck. He began to lightly kiss from her collarbone up, and then traced the lining of her jaw back to her mouth. They spun and backed up, collapsing on her bed where they continued.

"This is crazy," Kari murmured into his lips, but he just smiled. She made no move to detach herself and instead closed the distance between them again. The effect all this had on her was electric, from her finger tips to her toes. She had never felt this passionate ever, but Matt had this way of infecting her so completely, making her feel hot and sexy and desirable when all she had ever felt before was average. And as she continued to kiss him, it scared her, how easily she could slip into it. It'd be so easy to lose herself, easy to give in. Her body was practically yearning for it, after all.

It'd be so easy.

So easy--

_Knock knock._Kari's heart stopped. Matt instantly jumped off her and fixed the collar of his shirt, fixed his hair and she adjusted her shirt as well. It took them fifteen seconds to look perfect again.

Could they ever just freaking kiss in peace?

"Who is it?" Kari asked.

"It's T.K.," was the answer.

Kari and Matt shared equally panicked looks.

"Come in," Kari said, trying her damndest to not sound as shaky as she felt. She turned to Matt.

"I think that's a great idea for a present for Tai and Mimi," she said as the door opened. "We'll talk later about it."

"Sure," Matt agreed, his eyes shifting over to T.K. "Hey, little brother."

T.K. did not answer back. He looked suspicious. Dangerously suspicious. "Can we talk?"

Kari swallowed and nodded.

"I'll catch up with you guys later. I'll do the whole socializing thing." He then bowed out of the room after grimacing at Kari and mouthing, 'tell me later'.

Then there were two.

Kari stared at T.K. for a long moment before resorting to the Kari Doll smile. As if someone was standing behind her, winding her up.

"Hi," she said, and though she tried hard to keep her voice neutral, it was weak.

"I'm going to ask you a question," T.K. told her, face betraying no emotion. "And I want you to answer me truthfully. Whatever you say, I'll believe you. But please do not lie to me. Do not keep that lie on your conscience. Tell me when you're ready."

Her heartbeat probably sped up twofold. She closed her hands into fists, feeling the clammy palms. "Ready."

"Were you really just talking to my brother?"

The lie was already formed on Kari's tongue, she just had to get it out there. But it would not leave her mouth. She couldn't bring herself to lie to him. Not after seeing his face, not after hearing his plead for her not to lie. As if he expected her to lie. As if he knew that she had become a liar. As if ... he knew.

He knew.

Kari shook her head slowly in answer to his question. She couldn't trust her words.

"Are you seeing my brother?"

Her blood felt like slush at this point, barely making it through her veins. But she could not lie. Not any longer.

She nodded.

T.K.'s face lost the strong, resolved look and crumpled. The puppy dog eyes that had never failed to make her ache were in full effect, and she knew he probably wasn't trying. He looked like he was in deep pain, deep anguish. He looked like he was sick to his stomach.

Kari's face mirrored his.

"For how long?" His voice was cracked at the seams, as if he were trying as hard as he could to hold himself together.

"For ... I don't know."

"What the hell do you mean? When did you start 'seeing' each other? When did you first kiss?" Anger was now riding on the back rails of his words, edging them out of his mouth. He relaxed as the anger became more prominent. Anger was a much more reliable emotion than pain. It could mask it. It could give you control.

"We first kissed ... the night ... the night we broke up."

She couldn't look at him any longer. Kari buried her face in her hands to spare herself the experience of looking into his eyes as that bit of information set in.

"That's classy, Kari. Really goddamn classy. That's--" He took a breath, and in that breath he seemed to breathe in new perspective. Everything dawned on him. Everything. "That's why you wanted to go to the concert so bad. That's why you began ignoring me. Because you didn't want me anymore. You broke up with me for him. For my _goddamn brother_."

"I'm sorry!" she burst out, finally lifting her face. It was a good thing music was playing and masking their conversation. She became frantic as tears welled up in her eyes."I didn't try to, I swear to God. I wanted to love you, I thought I loved you! But it just changed, something changed and... before I knew it ... I didn't want to hurt you, neither of us did. He loves you! He does. Don't be mad," she begged, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. "Not at him. Be mad at me. I did this. This is my fault. He loves you."

"And you love him." She could hear a catch in his voice. She hated herself more.

"Yes," she said quietly.

"Did you sleep with him?"

"What? No! I swear. I didn't."

"Okay. God ... I just ... I'm just so stupid. So stupid."

"Don't say that. Don't," she begged.

"What should I say?" T.K. barked. "I love you and you turn around and fall in love with my brother! I'm a moron!"

And somehow, that comment broke her for good. She began crying. Not just some tears and pitiful whimpers but all out sobbing. They took over her body and she began hiccupping them out. Each sob was painful, ripped from her throat and she felt so weak that she felt she might fall over. T.K.'s hand steadied her however, and even though he had every right to walk away, to spit on her and swear at her for being such a callous, back-stabbing traitor, he whispered to her.

"Don't cry. Don't cry."

"T.K.," she choked out, her hand going up toward his face. He then backed away and shook his head.

"Don't. I have to leave. I can't look at you. I feel physically sick to my stomach. I have to go. I have to get out." He shook his head and she watched through blurry eyes as he left.

She felt broken. Like something inside of her had broken and she could never fix it. She collapsed to her floor and wrapped an arm around her stomach and cried. For a good minute she cried and tried to hold herself together. Her thoughts were hurtling themselves at her with brute force, reminding her over and over what a mess she made of everything. She had succeeded in hurting the person who had been there for her consistently for years and years. She'd hurt someone she cared about, someone who was very much a part of her past. A part of her. And now that part was gone.

"Kari!" It was Tai's voice, loud and clear from outside. The music had been turned out. Mechanically, she got up from the floor.

She took a breath and pieced herself back together. Her hair looked fine. Her outfit was perfect. But her face was a wreck. She grabbed a tube of lip stuff from her dresser and put it on. Still, the red eyes gave her away.

"Kari!" Tai's voice yelled out for her again.

Desperate, the dug through her drawers until she managed to come up with a pair of sunglasses. It was indoors at night, but she had nothing else. She couldn't let someone ask her if she'd been crying or the dam would break and everyone would probably be flooded by her tears. She slipped them on and then ran out.

"What's up?" she asked Tai brightly. Everyone was laughing, Sora, Mimi, Izzy, Joe, Davis, everyone. They looked happy and joyous and oblivious to the complete mental destruction that Kari had gone undergone.

Her eyes shifted to Matt. He was looking straight at her, curiosity evident in every plane of his face.

TK was in the opposite corner of the room. She didn't have to look at him to know what he looked like.

She felt like everything was out of control, nothing was in her grasp. But she smiled anyway.

"I wanted to make a spontaneous speech about my hot ass fiancee and my sister wasn't here! Now, stay here so I can spontaneously make a speech! And hey Miss Thing, what's with the shades?"

"Uhh, bright lights are giving me a headache. " It was frightening, how easily the lies rolled off her tongue. But lies hadn't helped her in the end, now had they?

"Whatever. Anyway! Speech time. Okay guys, gather as I spontaneously say things!"

Everyone laughed and gathered around and Mimi smiled, enclosed in Tai's arms. They had everything to look forward to. Their relationship was not built on the foundation of lies, not hidden from everyone they knew. They were not hurting the people closest to them. They were not caked in guilt.

But this was not about her, so she continued to smile. Kari, the living doll.

"Alright. So, I've never done one of these. But I've had more beers than I should -- don't tell my parents! -- so I'll just go on. Mimi is like, perfect, guys. I mean, look at her. She's insanely hot, for starts. Guys look at me and want to beat me up because I'm dating someone ten times hotter than their kinkiest fantasy." Everyone laughed at that. Everyone except Matt, T.K. and Kari. Kari knew this because she kept glancing over at them.

"But it's so much more than the hot thing. Because... she's totally beautiful. Inside. Beautiful mind and spirit and yadda yadda. She way she does things and thinks. The way she tries. How she'll listen and help and won't give up. This chick is amazing. And now, she's gonna be mine forever... by the way guys, I'll have a much better speech at the actual wedding reception. When I'm, yanno, sober."

"Yeah, right," Davis cracked and everyone laughed again.

Mimi smiled up at Tai. "I love you."

"You better, or I'm taking back the rock!"

They kissed and garnered a cheer from everyone.

"Happy engagement to us!" Tai cheered and let out a whoop.

Kari kept smiling. She was smiling so hard that her cheeks felt like they were now porcelain about to crack at any second.

Everyone disassembled once again into small semi-groups and Kari watched from her place against the wall as T.K. made his way up to Tai and Mimi when they were finally in a corner alone and not surrounded by people. She did not trust herself to so much as glance at Matt during those moments. Much like T.K. did not glance in her direction.

She listened as he spoke. "Hey, Tai, it's been fun and all but I have to go." T.K. was not a good liar. He was upset, visibly, and was unable to hide it as hard as he tried.

Tai frowned. "Dude, what's wrong?"

"Nothing," T.K. insisted. "I just gotta go."

"Teeks, you look totally distressed!" Mimi chirped at him, her glossed lip puffed out in an exaggerated pout. "What is up?"

"Guys, I really have to go."

"How come?" This did not come from Tai or Mimi. It came from Matt, who was now approaching the three.

Kari closed her eyes and steadied herself against the wall. With her eyes closed, she listened.

"Do not talk to me," T.K. said in a low growl.

"What's wrong?" Mimi asked again, her normally sweet voice now shadowed and perplexed.

"I'm not getting into this here," T.K. replied, his voice still low and gravelly.

Kari's eyes slowly opened. Matt was breathing hard. Matt knew that T.K. knew. The two brothers stared at each other. T.K.'s eyes held hatred, while Matt's had flecks of remorse.

"Get into what?" Tai demanded, irritated.

Mimi's eyes met Kari's. Mimi understood now. The shit was dangerously close to hitting the fan.

"It's your engagement party, Tai. Enjoy it. We'll get into it later. Go, T.K," Matt told his brother.

"Do not talk to me," T.K. hissed again. "Do not even look at me."

"T.K., tell me what it is right fucking now," Tai demanded, face now serious and angry. "Right now."

"T.K.!" The voice Kari heard was her own. Shocked, she put a hand over her mouth.

"Tai, let's just leave it for tomorrow," Mimi suggested, her tone sugar sweet. She wrapped an arm around his waist. "Let's not ruin tonight."

"Tell. Me. Now."

All eyes were now on T.K. The ball was now in his court. Matt, Kari, Mimi. They all watched him intensely, all of them filled with dread.

Seconds felt like minutes as time dragged on. It was still and unbearable. Each moment was agonizing. Kari wished fervently that she could be like the others, dancing and talking in the living room, carefree and oblivious instead of here. In the kitchen of doom where everything, it appeared, was about to unfold.

She felt like she was exposing herself to gunfire.

Slowly, T.K. leaned in toward Tai and with a mixture of contempt, tenacity and pure grief said, "I just found out my ex-brother is dating my ex-girlfriend."

Shit, meet fan.

"So there you go."

T.K. stormed off and left Tai shell-shocked.

Left the rest of them to deal with the ruins.

Mimi's eyes went back to Kari's, mascared lashes framing wide, wide eyes.

The color had been drained from Matt's face.

Kari felt as if she might quite possibly collapse.

It was like that dream. The dream where you go to school naked. Or the dream that everything that could possibly go wrong does. The dream where all your secrets, your dirtiest, shameful secrets were now suddenly on display to the exact people that you didn't want to see them. It was that dream. She pinched herself several times, but she did not wake up. She was rooted to the spot. She wanted to vomit, but she held her breath.

Tai's voice was barely audible over the music. "I will talk to you in the hallway."

Kari and Mimi both watched silently as Tai and Matt walked out the main door and into the hallway without either giving her even a glance.

Kari couldn't bear to not know what was going on. She ran to the door and watched out the peephole while trying to hear as much as she could.

On the other side of the door, Tai stared at Matt, his face red.

"Tai," he began. "I'm sorry. I am."

"You've been fooling around with my sister? Behind my back?"

"It's more than just--"

"It's a simple fucking yes or no question."

Matt paused. "Yes."

"You lied to me. You've been lying to me. You will not be my Best Man."

Matt looked taken aback. Hurt, even. "Tai, come on! You're my best friend. I'll explain this to you. We'll explain this. I'll grab her and we'll explain--

"You will not touch her or go near her. Ever."

"Tai--"

"Am I not being clear? Get the hell out of here before I do something I regret." Tai was shaking with rage, his cheeks burning, his fists clenched at the side. He was obviously trying to contain himself.

"You have to listen to me." Matt's tone was dead calm.

"Get OUT." Tai's fingers were visibly twitching by now.

"No." Matt was firm. More accurately, he was desperate. "Tai--"

But Matt was interrupted by Tai again. But this time, it was by Tai's fist being smashed into his face.


	13. Clarity

**Author's Note:** So, I didn't take as long! Yay, me! I mean, I still took long but for me, this is basically epic. I would have been like, 2 weeks sooner but the second last scene proved to be very difficult. So. Here it is. Chapter 13. Chapter 8 is named The Aftermath (from the band after party... hmm, I enjoy having parties as the center of a lot of plot. Formula, anyone?? Just kidding, I just realized that now), but I really view this chapter as _the aftermath_. I left a lot of loose ends, and I had to tie them up somehow. Everything is in disarray, and must be fixed so don't be expecting too much action. This chapter gets in the mind of kind of everyone, which is different than previous chapters. I could go on explaining, but I guess you should just read? Anything between the x/x/x's is flashbacks to the night of the party.

Anyway, this is the third last chapter. After this, there will be another chapter, and then the epilogue. gasp It's almost over kids! It's gone by so fast. Well, not really, it's been nearly three years (hangs head in shame) but at least you guys have a guarentee it'll get done, and probably before summer's over.

Okay, I'm done blabbing.

OH WAIT, I LIED. I researched universities in Tokyo, but obviously I do not know everything about them. So no nitpicking on that regard, okay? I also bullshited my way through the soccer lingo, haha.

AND GO! And make sure to let me know what you think!!

* * *

Everything in Kari's room was clean. Obscenely clean. The stress of the last week had chewed her insides up and affected her sleep and eventually manifested itself in the form of a cleaning spree. Nothing was safe. Obsessively, constantly and neurotically, she cleaned. Vacuumed every square inch of her room, threw every scrap of fabric in the laundry, dusted, scrubbed and sanitized.

It was a coping mechanism. Which one it was, she wasn't entirely sure. She had never taken a Psychology class, though there was one offered at Odaiba. It had been trendy among her peers but her schedule had never allowed it. It was chock full with AP classes that were a little bothersome now (but not overly, considering Kari was one of those strange breeds who more or less enjoyed school) but would come in handy when she got into a decent college. So no, she didn't know. Was it denial? Nah, she was fully aware of the situation she had thrust herself into it. Was it simply classified as avoidance? After all, she was avoiding... oh, everything. By cleaning and organizing and reorganizing and coughing and sneezing and sniffling. Because it would appear that karma had added a little flavour into her life in the form of illness. People say 'karma's a bitch' but Kari had been too. Thus, she totally deserved it.

Still, just because she deserved it, didn't mean it didn't suck.

Her sickness had been more severe two weeks ago after the party from hell. Or the party that had exploded into hell. Either way, hell was definitely an appropriate noun. She'd missed the last few days of school before spring break due to massive migraine headaches. It gave her a valid reason to lie around her room in the dark. She'd asked Suki to bring her the homework she missed which Suki had but it was kind of awkward. After all, Suki was T.K.'s friend too, and she knew the story. Everyone did, actually. The story had broken out at school, somehow spreading like wildfire in the way that only high school gossip did. Kari didn't know how it had managed to leak. She definitely didn't tell and even though T.K. would never glance in her direction again, his loathe and disgust was so passionate for her, he simply didn't have it in him to literally broadcast it.

People had a way of spreading things, she supposed. A good conversation tidbit. A scandalous anectode. Something to giggle and ooh and ahh over. Something to elaborate and expand on. No one was immune to gossip because everyone loved a good story. Everyone. As long as they weren't the subject.

Before all of this had happened, Kari had lead a perfectly tame existence. Her high school career had not been tarnished with black little spots. Everyone loved to exaggerate a juicy story, but no one told flat out lies. Every story had to have it's foundation.

The current story was that T.K. had found Kari and Matt in bed together at Tai's engagement party and that they'd been screwing since before Kari broke up with T.K. Kari had been upset and obviously, T.K. would have been too. After all, not only was it sort of true (minus the actual sex and dating before breaking up with T.K. part) but to have the entire student body know? It'd be like salt in a wound. Vinegar in a paper cut. All those painful something-that-stings-in-a-random-injury expressions. She felt way worse for T.K. than herself which was a welcome reassurance that she hadn't turned completely into a self absorbed monster.

Suki had assured her that no one would ever care after spring break. They'd get it out of their systems and then someone would get drunk and stupid over and then the Kari/Matt/T.K. saga would be long forgotten.

She'd smiled, but it'd been strained. Forgotten by the student body, maybe, but not by her. Never by her. And never by her family and friends either.

Kari, the pure, chaste one, the one who stood for freakin' _light_, the one who had never done any wrong ... had broken up with her boyfriend of two years for her boyfriends brother. For her brother's best friend. Everyone knew. The school, their friends, their family. Her mom and dad hadn't pressed the issue, thank God, but she could just hear it in their heads. _How could our daughter do this? What is wrong with her?_

And what _was_ wrong with her? Did she have some sort of self destructive streak? Was she becoming one of those dark and twisted people who needed misery? Maybe. She needed Matt, and it would appear those two were directly linked.

To the eyes of people, T.K. was the victim and Kari was the bitch. Maybe it was true, but it felt too black and white. Kari did not derive joy from causing others harm. It was entirely too easy for people to cast labels her way, but they had not been through what she had, not had the internal battles that she had. This was not an overnight process. It had developed. It was taken time.

But no one cared about what she had to say. So she didn't say it.

She had never known for sure if she had loved T.K. in that passionate, all-consuming way. They'd never uttered the words to each other, so she assumed that without saying it, she could not test the weight of the words and be able to tell if she meant it. But with Matt, even though they had never said it aloud, even though she had not seen him in two painstaking weeks, even though being with him had caused nothing but freaking trouble for everyone involved ... she had fallen in love with him.

She burst out into a coughing fit and moaned. Had karma had it's fun yet?

The place was empty, except for her coughs. Mr. and Mrs. Kamiya were out for dinner and Tai was ... well, she didn't really know. Tai was making it a point not to talk to her, which she deserved, but still. It hurt to have your own brother cut you off.

The last time he'd directly spoken to her had been at the party.

**x/x/x**

Kari gasped as she watched Matt stumble down the ground as Tai's fist connected with his face. Matt's hands automatically went to go cover his face, and both Mimi and Kari flew out, terrified that an old school Matt and Tai brawl would break out, only a hell of a lot worse. But they had nothing to worry about, because Matt did not fight back. He laid on the ground pathetically. As if he could literally feel the world crashing down around him.

"Get away from me," Tai told Matt coldly. "We're done."

"Tai," Mimi said desperately, sidling up beside her fiance and forcing him to meet her gaze. "Calm down. Let's look at this objectively. This wasn't intentional. They didn't mean to hurt you."

Matt was still on the ground.

Kari was staring at him, fighting the every vessel in her body that urged her to help him up.

"How are you on their side?" Tai spat, jerking away from Mimi, his dark, angry eyes boring into her wide ones. "How can you even begin to tolerate this? It's Matt and Kari. Matt and my goddamn baby fucking sister. She's seventeen! SEVENTEEN!"

Kari was holding her breath, not really sure why. She was standing there, in plain sight, and Matt was laying there and Tai was yelling about them like they weren't even there.

"I'm not on anyone's side--" Mimi began delicately, when Tai cut her off.

"Holy shit. You knew."

"What? Tai--"

"You _knew_!"

Mimi did not answer, she didn't need to. Her eyes gave her away. They clearly stated: guilty as charged.

Tai swore several more times. "This is fucking fantastic. I love it when every single person that I care about lies to me! I love it!" He laughed, and though it was loud and energetic, it was bitter.

Kari gave in and lended a hand to Matt to help prop him up, which he took.

Matt and Tai stared at each other for a moment once Matt was on his feet, and Kari realized for the first time in her life, she was genuinely scared of her brother.

"She's my sister," is all Tai said before he turned around and went back into apartment.

Mimi followed him in, her eyes shiny with what was presumably tears, leaving Matt and Kari in the hallway together. Leaving them in the ruins of the night.

Kari stepped toward Matt but he recoiled, likely thinking of his poor eye and the anger that had dominated Tai's body.

"I'm sorry," Kari said, though Matt was not the person to be apologizing to. He was her partner in crime; it was everyone else who she needed to make amends with. But she apologized anyway. Maybe it was just to get words out there. This hallway had been the location of their first real, two-sided kiss. And now it was the location where everything had blown to crap.

"I'm gonna go."

He wouldn't even look her straight in the eye. Sure, one of his was swollen -- she winced -- but he could make some eye contact.

"Matt," she started, but he shook his head.

"I really do. This is ... a lot, Kari. I just ... have to go."

So he did.

And she went back in, avoiding everyones stares as they trickled out of the apartment, turned her lights out and slipped her headphones into her ears. She found the loudest song she possibly could, blasted it so she'd hear nothing else and cried softly into her pillow. Her tears were painful. They burnt her eyes, and shook her body and she felt raw all over. She cried, and she cried, but she did not elicit a sound.

And then somehow, miraculously, she managed to fall asleep

**x/x/x**

* * *

Matt Ishida was not the hero of this piece. Not even close. Which was disappointing, not only to him, but to everyone around him. T.K., Tai and _Kari._ Especially Kari. He'd just walked away, his tail between his legs, which was so fucking stupid because he helped save the world when he was eleven! And now, at nearly twenty-one, he couldn't deal with this.

He definitely did not enjoy being covered in cowardice. He didn't take pleasure in the fact that he ran because it was so much easier than to deal.

Avoid, avoid, avoid.

He should ... call her. Anyone. Make things right.

But instead of doing that like a real man would, he picked up his guitar. If he couldn't be the storybook prince who always fought for the right thing, despite the cost, he could do his part in contributing to the era of angry rock. Spit out some angst-filled lyrics, strumming intensely, that sort of thing.

Because even if he was a moral deadbeat, at least he could make some decent music.

* * *

Decent music his ass. Two hours and one cramped hand later, he realized that this wasn't the case at all. Because all he'd managed to produce was state of the art, bona fide CRAP. Seriously, the Backstreet Boys could do better than him. And nevermind composing new music, he couldn't even play the old! Tobira, a song imbedded into his brain since he was fourteen, was even failing him now. Prior to today, he could feel the notes in his blood, in his bones. He could hum it while asleep, mimic strumming while showering or driving. Every single note of that song was as familiar to him as his own name.

And it had failed him.

Okay, it didn't take Dr. Phil to realize this was because of his intense emotional problems, but that was so contradictory. Usually, his pent up frustration and angst made for some amazing songs.

He wanted to fork his eye out.

He took a breath and tried again. Music, fingers, good thoughts, chords.

Ten seconds in, his fingers slipped and he resisted the urge to throttle his guitar and toss it against the goddamn wall of his bedroom.

He glowered at his guitar. "You suck! You're so fucking pathetic! Do something _right_, Jesus! Come ON!"

The guitar lay motionless and Matt ran a shaking hand through his hair. God, he was losing it.

He tried again. And again. And during failed attempt number 546 to produce something even remotely useable, his peripheral vision kicked him and he saw an orangey-red head hanging right outside his door.

Jesus, what was it with people and spying on his outside his room? He was really going to have to start shutting his door.

When Matt's eyes met Sora, she smirked and he sighed.

"I can only assume you want to come in."

"Give this man a point!"

"Any good reason why I should?"

"I've already broken into your home, may as well let me into your room considering I've gotten this far."

He had to concede, so he waved her in. "Alright, stalker," he teased. "Explain yourself."

She shut the door behind her and leaned against her, a chunk of hair sticking up from behind as she did so. "Well, I just thought that since basically everything in your life has fallen to pieces, I should come and check on you and do my duty as a friend."

"Oral sex?" Matt suggested with a wolfish grin.

Sora cracked up, which was good. Tons of girls would have gotten offended, but she was an exception. For all of the girly evolution she had gone through part of her was still the helmet wearing tomboy that he had originally met.

"Not even if you paid me, Matt," she responded, laughter lilting her voice.

Matt raised his eyebrows at her, wriggling them. "Really? Because I've heard there's big money in that."

"Something to keep in mind," Sora said wryly. "But seriously."

"Seriously?"

"Seriously."

"Seriously, it's been two weeks. Why the delay?"

"Because one _hundred_ dollars says you were busy with your intense brooding and too far into it to raise your head, let alone want to see people. Am I wrong?"

"No," he admitted with a sheepish glance. He had forgotten about Sora's infinite wisdom.

Well then, I figured two weeks was a good grace period," Sora continued, smoothing down the problem strands of hair.

"Fair enough." She knew him alarmingly well. "So, you know, huh? About me and Kari."

"Yeah," she admitted. "It wasn't too hard to put together after the party. Some people were by the door and they heard most of it. I'm sorry, I am." Her voice shone of sincerity.

"Thanks."

"So, I'm going to ask you something and I won't let up until you say yes."

A groan slipped from his lips. "Sora..."

She held up her hand in protest. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No."

"I swear on your guitar, I'm not going to let up."

Matt sighed and Sora joined him on the bed, tennis-toned and tanned legs crossed underneath her. She turned her gaze toward him and he lowered his eyes.

"I fucked up," he said simply. "And everyone's suffering because of it."

"Come on. It was a really complex situation but you didn't hurt anyone intentionally."

"Intentionally or not, it happened. And that's the important part."

She stuck a finger under his chin, forcing him to raise it so he would look her in the eye. "Do you like Kari?"

What kind of question was that? "Of course."

"And do you love her?"

Matt was more hesitant at this question. "I... maybe. I think so. I mean-- yes."

It was a difficult emission from a guy who, for the better part of the last six years, had been a chronic love 'em and leave 'em type. But there it was. The words were true, and they were out there and he had to deal with them. It was kind of liberating, in a way, but it didn't matter anymore, did it?

"Then you should be together, loser."

"Wow, I never knew it was that simple," Matt said with scathing sarcasm.

"At ease, soldier." Sora held up her hands as if to say 'back off'. "It won't be that simple. Obviously. But if there's a will--"

"There's a way," Matt finished. "Yeah, yeah. But Sora, Tai actually decked me in the face. My jaw. I could barely speak the next day, when the swelling kicked in. And he said--" Matt paused for a moment, forcing himself to stay stoic. "He said we're done. You were inside, Sora. You might have heard the gist, but you weren't there." He had just laid there pathetically on the floor, listening to Tai's wrath. It had not been fun.

"He was angry. But you guys have a very extensive history. It will pass." Her voice was calm and nuturing; motherly, even.

Matt sighed. "Maybe. It was pretty bad though. I haven't talked any of them since the party."

Sora's eyebrows went up. "Really? Not even T.K.?"

"No. If we're home at the same time, he leaves. I don't know where he goes, but he goes somewhere. He doesn't talk to me. He doesn't look at me. Not that I blame him. He was so into Kari, for so long and I just barged in and took her."

"She's not a possession," Sora reminded Matt diplomatically. "She's not someone who just allows herself to be taken. It was mutual."

"Yeah." He had nothing else to say to that.

"Just... try. Try to talk to them. Because if you don't, you're just gonna hate yourself for it."

She was right. Of course she was right. She always was. "Come here," Matt nearly sang, pulling her in close by the shoulders and giving her a squeeze. "You're annoyingly wise."

"Yes, that I am."

* * *

T.K. had checked for Matt's car in the driveway before confirming that it was safe to go into the house. Matt wasn't home (thankfully) and his dad was at the station (big surprise) but T.K. didn't mind. He had come to enjoy the silence. Peace and quiet meant that he could do homework, or run on the treadmill, watch TV, do whatever. Facing Matt meant facing reality, and call him a chicken but that wasn't something he felt like dealing with. He had dealt with it enough at school. The week after the engagement party had been hell. Everywhere he turned, everyone's eyes were stained with sympathy. He didn't want their sympathy. He just wanted this all to be a bad dream.

What a world he lived in. It was funny, how at eight years old he had adjusted to the idea of their being digital monsters in the world, but nearly ten years later, a world where all the people closest to him had betrayed him was something he couldn't deal with.

T.K. was not someone who was suited for anger. It felt like a foreign entity in his body, like some kind of terrible illness. There were no antibodies to develop to help him stay immune next time, however. No way to flush out the anger. So it just happened again and again.

He just couldn't understand how they could do this. Not just to him (he wasn't that self centered) but to themselves. They must have known what havoc they were wreaking.

It honestly just made his blood boil, made him shudder and wince and more importantly, caused this deep ache in the pit of his stomach when he thought about it. Thought about them hugging and touching and kissing and doing it all _behind his back_. It hurt. It hurt so badly that he couldn't imagine the ache ever going away. The brother, that had sheltered him when he was a child and tried to protect him from pain was now inflicting it.

Maybe that was just a part of growing up, he realized with a pang. The black and white world of good and bad begins to coincide, and all you get is grey. The people that you idolized and loved disappoint and betray you, and then you disappoint them right back. This big circle. A mesh of gray.

It was a lot to think about. And damnit, he was trying NOT to think. But now the thoughts were there and could not be dissuaded.

So he grabbed the nearest notebook and began filling the pages and with the release of every word, he felt just a little bit better.

He was five pages in (front _and_ back) when the phone jangled to life. The sudden disruption to his emotional outpour made him jump, which he felt ridiculous for. "Composure, Takeru," he muttered to himself as he got up from the chair and found the phone.

Clicking it on, he began to speak. "Hello?"

"T.K.? Hi, sweetie." The voice was warm and familiar and it went from his ears down to his stomach, making him feel warm and safe.

"Mom? Hey! I've missed you a whole bunch." She called every so often, usually a few times a week but sometimes the space was a little longer. Every time, he reminded her that he missed her and she always said the same. He really did miss her a lot, but her job had taken her away from the city that was his home and considering all his ties, he couldn't bear to leave.

"I've missed you too! How've you been? And your brother?" There was a pause, and then, as if it were an afterthought, she added, "And your father?"

T.K. paused too, before saying, "They're both good." And then, because he was scared she'd want elaboration on Matt, rushed on. "So, are you coming to visit soon? The last time you visited was Christmas! You're coming to my graduation, right? That's in about two months. A little less."

"Oh, honey, I wouldn't miss it for anything. But actually, I have some good news."

"Really?" His excitement was palpable.

"Really. I'll actually be in town tomorrow. Your last day of spring break, right? You and Matt can come out for lunch with me!"

He grit his teeth. He wanted to see his mom, but he didn't want to tell Matt or get Matt to come. And yet, he knew he would. He'd have to. "Sure. I'll ask him."

"Wonderful! I'll call you when I'm in town, and I can pick you two up. You can decide on the resteraunt together. I have to work on this article, though, before I send it in. Talk to you tomorrow?"

"Absolutely," T.K. said after he swallowed. And then with a quiet sort of desperation said, "I miss you, Mom."

"I miss you too, sweetie."

After hanging up the phone, he closed his eyes. Looks like he'd have to suck it up and talk to Matt. And then pretend nothing was wrong in front of their mother, because he'd rather not tell her the whole sordid little thing.

He really hated how complicated everything had gotten.

He watched TV for a few hours and Matt had slipped into the house, trying to be invisible. But T.K. was very aware of his apperance. It was usually his cue to leave the house or go to a different room in order to avoid confrontation, but Matt had just gone to his own room without a word. That made it even harder. He'd have to tell Matt about their mom, vendetta or not.

As he heard the opening chords to one of the Wolves songs emitted from Matt's guitar, he raised his hand to the door.

_Knock_, he told himself.

He listened for another moment. The song sounded wrong somehow. Different, but not in a good way.

_Knock_.

But instead, he turned away. Coward. Chicken. Loser. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He'd ask tomorrow.

* * *

Tomorrow came much too quickly for T.K's liking. Saturday, like most Saturday's, had passed by at rapid speed without enough time to fully enjoy it. Then came Sunday.

He was finally going to have to talk to Matt.

His mom had called about five minutes ago saying that she was on her way. So he swallowed and went to Matt's bedroom door, but this time he actually knocked.

T.K. waited about thirty seconds and then the door swung open. Matt was pulling his shirt down, and his hair looked freshly washed. He'd just been finishing up getting ready, apparently.

"T.K.," Matt spoke, eyes and voice giving away his utter surprise.

T.K. stared at Matt, gathering himself enough to actually speak. God, he looked so much like Matt. Yet, the differences were endless.

"Are you--" Matt began, but his brother cut him off.

"Mom's in town. She's gonna be here in a few minutes." He was speaking the bare minimum.

"Really? She's coming here?" Though Matt had always lived with his dad, he loved his mom fiercely and constantly missed her.

T.K. shook his head. "She wants to take us to lunch." His tone was clipped, words were short.

Matt was silent for a moment. He wanted to go so badly. The opportunities in which he actually got to spend time with his mom was rare. But ... if he was there, T.K. wouldn't enjoy himself. And he had done enough to T.K.. So he'd give him this one little thing -- it was the least he could do.

He shook his head. "I have band practice. I can't miss it." He didn't even attempt to layer in any sincerity in his voice. The lie was flat and obvious, but it was for T.K.'s benefit. He wouldn't buy it, of course, but he would gladly take it.

Relief broke out into T.K.'s face. "Okay. I'll tell her."

And even though Matt was in no position to be asking favours, he quickly continued before T.K. could whirl around and leave. "But if she can spare a few minutes after lunch, I'd love to say hi."

"Sure," T.K. said with a small nod, and then finally began to turn and leave.

Matt spoke up a final time. "T.K.?"

T.K. didn't turn back to face Matt as he answered, "What?"

"I'm so sorry. For everything. More than you know."

T.K. paused, allowing that to soak in. And then he kept walking. His mom was here.

* * *

"Good job, guys. I mean it. You've been really pulling through as of late. But next week, I'm gonna need your hundred percent. And then after that? 110. We've got scrimmage and championship coming up, and I know that we can take it. Because we're good. You guys are good. But we have to amp it up. So do what you gotta. Stay healthy, stay happy and be ready to give it absolutely everything you've got. Now go on home."

The team of fourteen year old soccer plays he coached trickled off the field, downing water from their bottles like it was in limited supply. He stayed rooted to the spot, watching them. He looked over some notes and thought of some inspirational pep talks that he could relay to the team next week. God, he wanted to win so badly. When he was in high school, soccer had been so important to him. In those moments, as his foot connected to the ball, the moment swept him up and he was so very alive. He wanted those kids to appreciate what they had with the sport now. Because soon they'd be like him, forced to deal with the whole "growing up" thing and soccer would become not so much of a priority. He wasn't in school this year, but that was only because he had spent the last two years upgrading. Unfortunately, he still hadn't picked his major so he had taken the year off to do so, and when he picked it, he could jump for it. Coaching paid decent cash, but more than that, it was a way for him to be a part of the game again. He'd go back to school next year. He'd be a little behind, but it didn't seem like it'd be a big deal. Him and Mimi had never discussed it, but he could imagine that she wouldn't want kids for a couple more years. She'd finish up in school 2 years before him (she was majoring in fashion, and planned to go into marketing, etc.) and then he'd be done. He didn't know exactly when they'd get married, didn't know when they'd continue their lives. Many people referred to newlyweds as 'beginning their lives together' but Mimi had been in his life since he was 10 and the center of it since he was 17. Most of his boys loved him as a coach, and he reciprocated it. He had gotten a good group of kids.

He looked around; all of the kids were gone. In a fluid motion, he grabbed a soccer ball from the duffle bag and began passing it to himself. And then for another a half hour, he just did that, passed to himself, worked his legs and body. He chased the ball up and down the field, heart pumping, breath heavy.

And it felt good.

He could have gone for hours, but a sweet voice wafted through the air and stopped him.

"Working hard, sweetie?"

Tai glanced up at his fiancee, stopping the ball with his foot and taking the sight of her in. She was wearing those massive sunglasses that were for some reason so popular, a pastel blue sundress and her hair was up, done in painstakingly perfect ringlets. If you squinted, you could see the barest pink left over from her last tryst with the cotton-candy colored hair.

Tai smiled. Or he tried. "Just staying in shape."

She nodded. "Kiss?" Her voice was saccharine sweet.

He bent his head down to do just that, but it was devoid of passion. They both realized this, but neither of them made a comment.

"How are you?" She looked around at the empty field, discarded water bottles and the look of sheer intensity imbedded into Tai's face, a look she knew so well.

"Okay," he answered back. "My team is awesome. I think we're gonna take the championship."

"That's great," Mimi enthused, playing anxiously with a ringlet. It was wrapped around her finger so tightly Tai wondered if she had cut off her circulation.

"Yeah." There was an awkward lull, so Tai barrelled on. "Why are you here?"

She looked taken aback. "Sorry. I can--"

"No, no," he said quickly, feeling frustrated. They couldn't seem to get this right. "I don't mind. I'm just wondering if you needed me for something specific."

"No," she answered with a slow shake of her head. "I just wanted to see you. I haven't seen you all day."

"Yeah. Well, between your finals and my coaching--"

"I know."

"Yeah."

And then Mimi decided to cut the crap. "What the hell is wrong with us?"

**x.x.x**

Having heard some of the argument outside, all of their guests realized that the party was effectively over. All of their friends shuffled out, puzzle but sure everything would unravel soon enough. After some sympathetic smiles and some awkward congratulations, they all cleared out. They were undoubtedly wondering what had happened between the four of them.

Tai didn't care. He began angrily pouring himself a glass of his father's whisky. He usually only drank socially but he wanted to forget the last ten minutes. He grabbed the bottle too tight and wince. His hand hurt after smashing it into Matt's jaw.

Soon, him and Mimi were the only ones in the room.

"Where's Kari?" Mimi spoke up, uncharacteristically timid.

"Her room," Tai answered, grabbing some coke to mix into the glass. His steps were loud and hard.

"Tai, I'm sorry," was the next thing out of his fiancee's mouth. "But they like each other so much ... and shouldn't people who have feelings for each other be together?"

"Mimi? I _don't_ want to hear about it right now. Because at this particular moment, broken down, here's how I see it. They lied. You lied. Everyone I care about lied to me. And God, Mimi, you're my fiancee! How do you think that feels? No, wait, I'll tell you-- terrible. To know that he's kissed her and held her and ... God. It's my best friend. It's my SISTER. It's Kari. And it's sick. It's fucking sick. It's not something I think I will ever get used to. She was fine with TK, so why _Matt?_ TK was smart and great and safe."

Mimi, who had silently taken all that in, decided to pipe up. "Safe? Tai, you can't protect her forever. She can make her own decisions."

"She's with Matt! Matt! Don't be stupid, Mimi!" He was barely realizing the derision of his words. "It's fucking Matt. He'll sleep with anyone with nice legs. Takes him two seconds to woo them and then another two seconds to dump them once he has no use for them. It's all fun and games with disposable girls until it's my _sister_."

"But he actually likes her! I should know. I _do_ know. It's different. He really, really likes her. Believe me." She yearned for him to believe that she was sincere, that Matt was sncere.

"He likes the chase," Taichi retorted disgustedly, swallowing a large gulp of the glass. He welcomed the burn.

"If he only liked the chase, he would have dumped her a long time ago," Mimi pointed out.

Good thing Tai had swallowed or else he could have choked. "Excuse me? How long were they dating?"

She paused. "I caught them kissing the day that Kari and I went shopping and Matt was over.

Tais face went even darker. He swept the glass to the side with such face that it spun but luckily did not break. "Since then?"

"Don't be mad," Mimi pleaded, her voice starting to crack. "They didn't want to hurt anyone. That's why they kept it a secret. Don't be mad. I'm sorry." Her eyes had welled up at this point.

Tai rubbed his eyebrows but Mimi's desperation made his resolve start to crumple slightly. Exhaling, he took her in his arms. "I'm not mad at you."

And he wasn't. But Mimi had lied to him, and that hurt.

"Want me to stay with you?" Mimi murmered against his chest. "Especially considering that it's our engagement party night. We can go to my place. It'll just be us."

Tai withdrew himself slightly. "I'm beat." And he was. Elation, anger-- he'd gone from one extreme to the other and now he was nothing but exhausted. Yeah, the original plan had been copious amounts of chain sex. But nothing had really gone according to plan, did it?"

"You should just go home. I'm pretty tired."

"Oh." Mimi's face fell but she tried to pick it up again as best as she could.

"Okay. See you."

"See you," she echoed. There was an awkward pause. "Love you."

"Love you too," Tai returned, but it was without his usual warmth.

The moment had been so awkward.

It didn't subside over the next few weeks.

**x.x.x**

"It's not, Tai protested, but it was futile to deny. To deny it was awkward would be like saying Hitler was a nice guy or that his Mom could cook.

"It is," Mimi insisted, and he didn't bother to disagree this time.

"You haven't forgiven me," Mimi said, point blank.

Tai twisted his mouth. "Mimi--"

"Tai, you haven't forgiven me! I kept the truth from you. That's my fault. But you have to forgive me. You _have to forgive me_!"

Tai had to brace himself to look up at her. He could imagine that her eyes would be flurry with tears and that always made him feel guiltier than anything. Slowly, his eyes raised.

Her eyes were dry. Surprising. However, he felt just as bad as he would have if they were red and teary.

"I love you," Tai said again. It was all he had to offer. Closing his eyes, he went to sit on the grass, using his hands to steady him. Aimlessly, he played with a few blades. Mimi dropped down beside him, a moment later. The moment was silent; pregnant. It seemed to say everything and nothing all at once.

He loved her. He did. If it words weren't proof enough, than it was evident by the ring on her fingers. So what was the root of things?

"Will you talk to Kari and Matt? Will you listen to them, at least?"

Kari and Matt were.

"And will you fully forgive me?"

He lifted his head up and felt the heat of the sun. "I'll try," he finally said. "I promise I'll try."

Those words held more power than the "I love you", at least in that moment. They both exhaled and along with the C02 went some of the tension from the last few weeks.

She squeezed his hand back, and he felt better, lighter, like he had just flushed some toxins of out his body.

* * *

Kari was making herself some hot chocolate when Tai came in through the apartment door. She nearly jumped and began gathering everything very quickly, ready to make a dash for her room. Being in the same place with him lately had been absolutely unbearable. When she dared to glance up at him, he was leaning against the door, looking at her with a thoughtful expression.

She felt panicky. "I'm sorry," came her immediate apology. "I'm leaving to my room."

"No, Kari, don't. It's okay."

His words shocked her so thoroughly that she dropped her chocolatey spoon on the counter. She sprang into action, grabbing the sponge to wipe up the mess. "I-- really? Cos, you know, I can ... um." Always eloquent.

"Kari." Tais voice was loud and firm and it made her stop. "It's really, really okay."

Was this a sort of double-meaning? Did that mean he was okay with ... what had happened? Or what? Confused, she tossed the spoon into the sink, waiting for him to go on. But he didn't. "It's okay that..."

Neither of them wanted to directly say it. "It's okay," he said again. "I mean, I don't like it. I might not ever. And it disgusts me, it really does, but maybe ... I don't know." He was brutally honest, but it was better than the two of them tiptoeing around each other. "I don't like it," he said again. "But you're my sister."

Those words were so very relieving, like coolant on a burn. She smiled, and for the first time in a while, it was sincere. "Thanks," she said softly. She didn't know what had suddenly changed in him, what had prompted the decision for him to decide to set things straight. Whatever it was though, she was grateful. Being on rocky terms with Tai was painful beyond measure. "Have you talked to..." She trailed off, not wanting to say it. _Suck it up, you big baby. Reap what you sow_. "Matt?"

"No," Tai replied bluntly. "I'm not ready to. Not for a while. You're my sister. He was my best friend. It's different."

Kari felt her stomach drop at the usage of the word 'was'.

"But you two will eventually have to talk again. R-right?" she stammered. She was unable to deal with the possibility that she had singlehandedly managed to break up a ten year friendship. They had to be friends again. They had to! They could get past this, they could.

"I don't know, Kari." Tai shook his head, and then rubbed one of his temples. "It's too soon."

She didn't know what to say to that. Thankfully, that problem was taken care of by Kari's mom who came into the door, bustling with excitement. The swing of the door managed to whack Tai, who yelped out in pain while Mrs. Kamiya remained oblivious.

"Kari!" Mrs. Kamiya said excitement, bubbling over at the sides. "Two more of your college acceptance letters came! And I think that you--"

"Sssh, please," Kari said quickly, averting her eyes from the envelopes in her mothers hand. "You know I don't want to look at a single one of them until they're all here. Trying to eliminate the suspense and do it all in one shot. So we'll just wait a little longer."

"Well, how many applications did you send out?" Mrs. Kamiya asked impatiently. Tai began to made his way up to the two of them from the door, rubbing a sore spot on his back where the doorknob had hit. Mrs. Kamiya was anxious to see where Kari was going to choose. She was pushing for Kyoto, Kari knew, but the choice was ultimately Kari's.

"I sent out..." she made a mental list in her head really quick. "Eight."

"Eight?" Mrs. Kamiya repeated, looking deep in thought. "One, one, two, one, one and ... two. Honey, do the math. That makes eight! You got them all! You can finally decide!" Her mom clapped her hands like she was a little child again.

Ta smiled encouragingly. "Yeah, open them up."

The fact that Tai was taking an interest in her life was reason enough to open them. But considering how long she had waited for this moment, the pivotal moment of finding out what schools she had gotten into, she just felt ... blank.

"I'll get the other ones," Mrs. Kamiya volunteered, dropping her purse and poofing away from the kitchen in a mad dash.

Tai glanced at Kari, still smiling. "Nervous?"

"Surprisingly not," she answered with a blink.

"Really? Well, that's probably because you got accepted into every single one."

Kari breathed out. "One could hope."

Mrs. Kamiya came back in, all eight of the letters in her hand.

"Check Kyoto," Mrs. Kamiya enthused and Kari dutifully reached for the envelope. _Gee. _What university could her mother be gunning for? Could it _be_ the one that was barely a few hours away? Of cooourse it was.

But it was the one she was gunning for too. Right?

She ripped it open and her eyes scanned the first few words. "I'm in," she relayed to Tai and her mom, evoking grins and cheers from them. She smiled a bit, too.

"And the other ones?" Tai pressed, drumming his fingers on the counter.

One by one, she opened the other seven. All good schools, some better than others. All acceptances. Slaving through the last few years had been well worth it. The last one she had opened had been for Hokkaido.

"Hokkaido is so far away," Mrs. Kamiya said with a distasteful sigh. "At least it was only a back up school, right?"

"Sure," Kari said with a shrug, but suddenly, she felt a fierce attachment to it. Here it was, her fate laid out in eight possibilities for her. Each school had a great med program (her major of choice) and each school was highly accredited. And Kari couldn't feel anything but apathetic.

"We'll be having a celebratory dinner tonight! Oh, honey, I'm so proud of you."

Kari imagined something cranking a screw in her back, winding it up and up and forcing her to grin wider and wider as her mother hugged her tight.

* * *

Suki had more or less predicted the truth. It was Monday, the first day back from spring break and no one really cared about the whole scandal anymore except for a select few people. Her friends cared, of course, but they were supportive. They were trying to be.

Kari spent her lunch at the library, eliminating the awkward choice of her friends having to choose between her and T.K. She'd be spending a lot of time like that lately. Suki and Davis talked to her like all was normal, thankfully, but she knew there had to be underlying awkwardness underneath. Oh well. She was glad it wasn't at the surface.

T.K., of course, didn't acknowledge her existence, even when they passed by each other in the halls. But what had she expected?

This wasn't too bad.

"Hi, Kari," Ally greeted her sweetly.

Okay, scratch that.

She felt like slamming her head repeatedly. It was afterschool, she was gathering her books at her locker and now freaking Ally had her caged in. She just wanted to graduate and be rid of this nuisance of a girl.

In no mood to play games, she set her hands on her hips. "What do you want, Ally?"

Ally grimaced. "Touchy. Just saying hi. Do you greet everyone this way?"

"Only you."

Ignoring her, Ally went on. "So, I heard about what happen. With you and T.K.'s brother, I mean. God, Kar, I didn't know you had it in you." Her voice was still as sweet as honey each ugly word coated in fake-sincerity.

"You and everyone else in this school." Kari attempted to move past Ally, but then Ally moved over a step. Kari's jaw dropped -- was she serious?

"That's pretty low, Kari," Ally remarked, dropping the honeysuckle tone. "His own brother? Honestly? Did you enjoy stringing T.K. along while you screwed around with his brother?"

"Back off," Kari snapped. "You know nothing -- nothing -- about the situation, just the recycled lies that have been ... well ... cycling. So you do not get to heckle me or guilt me. I feel guilty enough and I don't need your help. I hurt T.K., I did, I'm sorry and he knows that. But it absolutely does not concern you. So go and fawn all over him because you think he's cute or hot or whatever, but stay away from me. No heckling. No talking, no nothing, period. Okay?"

Ally looked taken aback. She had probably never been spoken to in such a manner, let alone by someone like Kari.

_I'm probably just encouraging her_, Kari thought miserably. _And now I'm going to be subjected to endless amounts of insults. Great._

And then to her surprise, Ally spoke up quietly. "I actually like him. He's nice to me, and not just because he thinks I'm hot. Or cute. Or whatever." And then, when Kari was wondering how the hell to react to such a confession, Ally left.

Kari didn't know Ally, she never would. However, moments like those ones threw her off guard. But still, nothing had really changed. So she would forever remember her as a bitch. Ally would think of Kari as a backstabbing skank who threw away T.K. for the taller, hotter model. It was more than that, of course. Ally may not know that but Kari did. Kari knew that it was chemistry, it was feelings. It was heart over mind. She didn't just like him, because he was hot or nice or blah blah blah. She loved him. Love. Oh, God. OH GOD. She loved him.

Oh.

My.

God.

She loved him!

Matt. She loved him. Matt. Love. Crap.

She had to ... she had not tell him, but see him. Well, maybe tell him. Maybe he'd say it back. No. Bad. Bad, bad, bad. But -- she had to. But -- _do it!_

Oh but ... Tai had just forgiven her. But she also couldn't stay away from Matt for the rest of her life.

Just couldn't do it.

So, did she call Tai, tell him that she was going to see Matt? No. She didn't need his permission. But she didn't want to lie. She was so done with lying. It seriously messed up her internal systems. Still, she loved (!!) Matt and she had to see him.

So she went on her way.

* * *

It was a mixture of courage and curiousity that finally brought Kari to the Ishida's door, but dread was now in the equation as well. The entire way here, she let her mind go blank, arriving on autopilot. Having too long to think about her decision would inevitably end in a way that would make her turn all the way around and leave. But as she neared the door, the blank state she'd been hiding away in fell down. _Turn_. _Knock. What are you going to say? What's he going to say? You love him. Turn. Knock. What? Love. Turn. Knock. _Contradictory thoughtsswirled and looped, swirling and looping and blood rushing and head hurting and _knock! Knock! Knock! _Fist clenched so tight that it hurt, she knocked.

And stood. And listened. She could hear the movement of feet making their way through the door and she felt like she was going to throw up.

When Matt opened the door, she felt weak in the knees.

When she realized what a ridiculously cliched female she was, she felt disgusted with herself. Weak knees? What the hell was this? It was so ridiculous she could almost start laughing. How revolting. And so was the cycle of life.

"Kari," Matt said with a gasp. His body went rigid and then suddenly his hands began reaching forward, inching toward her face as if he needed to assure himself that she was tangible, real.

"Kari," she confirmed, stepping a little bit closer. Two weeks without Matt had been two very unfufilling weeks. She had missed everything about him. His hair, his smirk, his voice, his scent, his words. She'd missed him. Maybe she hadn't realized exactly how much until just this moment. She wanted to kiss him. She wanted to do more than kiss him.

But she stood there.

"You're ... here," Matt remarked dumbly, blinking. He had snatched away his fingers before they had reached skin, regrettably.

Kari could feel her stomach start to descend toward her knees. "I am." _And less sure of it by the moment_.

His hand twitched, and then as if he couldn't stand it anymore, reached out and cupped her chin. She reveled in his touch for the three seconds he had touched her. "Does..." he faltered.

"Does anyone know I'm here?" she finished. "Not even a little bit. I just ... had the urge to talk to you. We just left things and ... I don't like non-resolution. I really don't." _Oh, and I realized ... I LOVE YOU. HAHAHA. HOW UTTERLY PERFECT RIGHT? Why am I here?_

Matt's face was deadly seriously. "Kari. I..." He faltered again. Why couldn't he get this right? But he'd be lying if he said seeing Kari again wasn't the single happiest moment he'd had in the past two weeks. Not that there was much competition. He wanted to kiss her, reassure her, he wanted to _be with her_, but there was too much in the way.

"Yeah?" she murmured, hopefully.

"I just--"

And then, without warning, Kari burst into laughter. It was the kind of laughter that went on and on and on, and you didn't even know why you were laughing. She laughed loudly and freely, so hard that she couldn't even breathe. At some point, the laughter was so intense that she wasn't even making sound, just leaning against the wall for support as her shoulders shook. She laughed for about a minute straight.

Matt watched, horrified. "Um... come in."

It took Kari a few moments to compose herself, and she was still chuckling as she came into the house. "God, I'm sorry. This is highly inappropriate. It's just ..." She chuckled again, and then smushed a hand against her mouth. "This is so ridiculously serious. I almost can't believe it. I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

Matt was utterly bewildered. He wasn't completely sure where she found the humor in this situation. Or humor out of the fact that this was serious. His lips twitched, almost ready to laugh with her, but he refrained. Instead, he watched her silently, sticking one hand in his back pocket as he mused the situation. He had run through the possibility of this meeting in his mind time after time these last couple of weeks, but none of them had entailed her bursting into laughter.

Finally, Kari breathed out. "Okay. I'm done. Really." Her cheeks were red with embarassment, however. She didn't even really know why she had laughed. The situation had just been so INTENSELY SERIOUS that it was funny, in an utterly non-hilarious way. Man, she needed medication. She trained her eyes on him. "So ... how are you?" Her voice was soft and somewhat unsure as she stepped closer to him.

He stepped back a little bit. "Well, you know," he answered lamely. He felt guilty, just standing here, just being here. Why was Kari here? Why did she even like him? Was she crazy? Like, honestly? What the hell was this?

Kari bit her lip. "If I knew, I wouldn't have asked."

Matt wanted to touch her so badly it ached. "Maybe you should leave, Kari."

"What?" she breathed out, taken aback. She hadn't been expecting that. Maybe she should have. God, coming here was just such a collosal mistake. Stupid, stupid, stupid. But also ...

"No," she answered, voice hard and firm. Was it really hers? Yes, it was.

"No?" Matt repeated, dumbfounded.

"No," Kari repeated, feeling stronger and more sure of herself. "No! I came here after talking to freaking Ally Gonsaku, because she of all people made me realize something and it took so much more courage than I'm sure you can even IMAGINE to get here. And now I come here, and I laugh like a hyena, and then you try and toss me out? And I'm thinking, God, I'm stupid. And that's all I think anymore! 'Stupid, stupid self.' And I hate it! I freaking hate it! I hate self deprecaton. I'm sick of hating myself and being apathetic and walking on eggshells, I hate it, I hate it, I HATE IT, so you do not just get to _kick me out_ after I risk hating myself just that much more by coming here! You don't get to!"

The words were tumbling out, one after another, so rapid and quick that she had no time to process what she was saying until she went onto the next word. Matt's face was just as it had been when she had burst into laughter, but she kept going.

"You're ridiculous! You are the most ridiculous human being on the earth! I left your brother, the person who has been so loyal and so perfect for the last million years to me for you. I fell for you! And then everyone finds out, and you walk away from me, you don't even look at me! And you don't call, or email, or anything, and that's okay, really, because I didn't either. But I come, _I_ make the first move and you tell me to leave? Like nothing ever freaking happened? Like the last few months were just a big nothing? It's ridiculous! You're ridiculous! I am in LOVE WITH YOU, MATT. Yes! I love you! But I shouldn't, because this is ridiculous. _Ridiculous_. But I am willing to bend! I am willing to work it out, and to make T.K. understand and make Tai understand, I'm willing because of you! Because you're worth it, and we're worth it. No matter how ridiculous this is. I need a new goddamn adjective. I need to stop talking. Put me out of my misery, please, oh, God, please, just--"

"Kari," Matt finally interrupted, feeling like he'd just been punched in the gut. She loved him? She ... she _loved_ him?

Kari had expected her voice to crack, or her eyes to tear up, but nothing. She did, however, feel like she had just lost about 200 pounds. Like she was free, somehow.

So she stared at Matt. His move now.

"Don't," he said simply, falling wearily into the couch behind them. "Please."

"Don't what?" she asked, staring at the wall instead of him. That was his grand answer to her massive monologue? Really?

"Don't ... love me."

Her lip began to tremble, but she bit down on it hard. She had control over this situation. She was not a stupid damsel. She had control.

"It's not that easy," she answered back, still staring at the wall. _Control. Take control_. She forced her gaze from the wall to him.

He was silent, which infuriated her.

"Am I wasting my time here? Because I just laid it all out there for you. Every little thing. And in return, youre giving me ... nothing. Am I wasting my time?" Her words were hard and sharp, considering the cirumstance

Matt paused. And closed his eyes. Of course he loved her. Of course he did. He didn't know how he'd managed it, but somehow he'd quite inevitably fallen in love with her. He didn't just like her because was pretty. It was more than that. She was kind, and she cared, and she smart and funny and sweet and ... she was just ... Kari. And this situation right here hurt him so much more than he could have ever anticipated. But there was too much against them. It was just ... not possible.

They had to move on from each other. They had to let go.

He held her eyes for a long few seconds. That moment felt eternal because the next moment, Matt knew, would be painful. When he couldn't hold it any longer, he set his jaw.

"Yes." The next sentence was the hardest. "Yes, you are. Because I don't love you."

She had control. She was not a damsel. And she would not cry.

"Right," she said.

And then, turning her mind back on autopilot, she walked out without a backward glance.

* * *

Back at home, Kari stared at all eight of her acceptance letters. They were aligned on her desk perfectly, sitting there. They were glorious reminders that she could do anything she wanted right now. Literally. The world was at her fingertips.

She was not thinking about Matt right now. She had stored him away in a part of her memory that did not allow him to exist right now. She was not thinking. She was not dwelling. She was sitting and staring and mulling over her future.

Slowly, she eliminated one letter after the other. She thought about each one very carefully. An hour later, she was left with four of the original envelopes. The others laid at her feet, discarded. Her future would not be within the halls of those schools.

Four was whittled down to two and soon, the only envelopes left on her desk were the ones for Hokkaido (surprisingly) and Kyoto (not surprisingly).

Kyoto was so close (not even three hours), and it had a great medical program It'd overjoy her parents to have her so close. But then there was Hokkaido University. It was just so ... far. Too far to even seriously consider it ... right? But here she was. Considering it. Kari had applied to a great many universities as back up, but Kyoto had always been her number one choice. It had everything. She'd been working for it for so long, even if she hadn't directly said it. It'd always been in the back of her mind. Kari; graduate from Kyoto University. It fit, somehow. It felt complete. It made her smile.

But Hokkaido was amazing as well. Top notch. She had originally applied just to see if she could get in, but now was seriously considering it. Not only was the Med program amazing, but she had looked on the website and checked out some of the pictures of the sites and the students, and they all looked so happy and free and great. She could see herself going there. The thought was overwhelming in its sensation of relief.

Still. Hokkaido may be freedom, but Kyoto would give her a chance to make amends. She really needed that right now. Maybe more than anything.

All the college prep books told her that now the most anxiety ridden part was over (recieving the letters), the hard part was here. Actually choosing between schools. Most people had a school they wanted to go to more, but a lot still had two that each had it's own pros and cons. "Sleep on it," the book advised. "Things seem clearer in the morning."

Both envelopes in hand, she went to drop them in her desk drawer so she could get some rest and return to this tomorrow.

Kyoto. Hokkaido.

Then at the last second, she changed her mind. One went into the desk drawer and the other went directly beneath her. Not just to to the floor, but fed to the jaws of her paper shredder.

Well, then.

She had made her decision.

And in her gut, she knew it was the right one.


	14. Graduation

**Author`s Note:** I'm baaack! After an embarrassingly long time, I admit. And I apologize, really, I do. But hey, you have to hand it to me -- I always, eventually pull through. Which isn't always the case on this site!

There are some things to be learned here, folks.

1. Never read a chapter story written by me. Because it'll take years, and each chapter will get longer and longer until it just becomes ludicrous.

2. Embrace weird couplings! Canon is good, but the funnest part is seeing what you can do with canon, and how you can make it turn out different.

3. Never read a chapter story written by me. But if you're crazy enough to, review!

So there's a lot of introspective rambling in this chapter. I apologize for that too. The writing style probably changes. Half of this I had written months ago. Maybe about 3/5ths. And then I wrote the rest of it in the span of a night and a half when I realized IT IS 2009 AND THIS STORY STILL HASN'T BEEN UPDATED. I stayed up until 3:30 in the morning until my weary eyes could see no more, and then I finished it today. I don't know if people still read this. I hope they do! And if you do, thank you very much. I love you all. Message me if you ever want to talk, I'm friendly, I swear! I love everyone that has ever reviewed. But let's get on with the story, huh?

* * *

Graduation was tomorrow morning.

Kari would have liked to be able to say that it snuck up on her. That in all her joyful bliss and wonder, it had just suddenly hurled itself at her with full force, shocking and exciting her.

Yeah, that so wasn't the case.

In this last month, she'd been achingly aware of graduation. It did not scare her, nor did it necessarily excite her. It was just a chapter of her life that was about to end. There was so much more to life than high school, but leaving it was still somewhat daunting. Somewhat. Not scary, not exciting. But it was slow. Every day passed by slowly, as the sun grew brighter and brighter outside and gold-soaked the afternoons that they were spent inside reviewing. She wanted to go outside and walk and smile and absorb all of Odaiba in it's blissful summery state.

She wanted a lot of things. Obviously, she wouldn't get all of them.

Like Matt. Like friendship with T.K. Like for everything to go back to normal, in her happy, healthy existence at the beginning of the semester. Like ... valedictorian. Yeah, that one stung, too.

Everyone had been so confident that she'd get it. "It's gonna be you, Kari. It's gonna be you."

It hadn't been her.

But Kristen Tam had won it instead. Kari had never spoken to Kristen, but the other girl seemed nice enough, brainy, obviously, and probably a lot more deserving of it than Kari. Kari had become less focused on her studies as of late, less motivated and perfect. In grade ten and eleven, she had helped run nearly every club out there, but this year the most she had done was host a bake sale at the beginning of the year. Plus, Kristen probably didn't destroy everything ar--

_Stop_, she commanded herself. Self-deprecation was a no-no. She was sick of it (GOD, was she ever freaking sick of it) and she was trying to be positive.

So, positives: Graduation was tomorrow. Where she could don the gown, throw the cap and not die of inadequacy and jealousy when Kristen made her valedictorian speech. Seriously. No, really.

At least, she'd try.

It was early Thursday morning, and a particularly vivid dream had woken her up. It had been about graduating, and random killer fishermen (why oh why did she watch movies with Tai and Mimi? _Why_?) and this big ugly mesh of terrible dream-happenings that had awoken her. Her heart was not pounding quite as quickly as it would have if it were a nightmare, but it was close. Close enough to wake her up.

Without lethargy, she raised from her bed and toward her closet. The dress she would be wearing underneath her gown hanged neatly from a wooden hanger. It was a slightly muted green with thin straps, and it fell down to right above her knees. It wasn't tight enough to cause any embarrassing arm fat, but it was fitted, in that nice sort of way that reminded her every once and a while that she was actually becoming a woman. God, the idea of being a woman sounded so ... _intense_ and serious, but also good. A little daunting, not too exciting, not too scary -- just like graduation.

She nearly banged her head against her closet door. You knew it was way too early in the morning when you were comparing your _dress_ to your life.

But she wasn't overly frivolous. Hopefully. Anyways, she was allowed to think about this dress, she figured, considering she had never got to wear a prom dress. T.K. had gone with Ally, Suki had gone with Davis and she had gone with no one. Tai said Izzy would step in and take her, and a guy from her English class had been cancelled on and asked her as well, but she hadn't accepted either offer. Prom wasn't very important to her. She used to think about it, at the beginning of high school and even up till a few months ago. But it seemed unnecessary now, more of a chore than it would be a joy. So she had stayed home and spent time with her family instead, stuffing themselves silly on take-out while everyone danced the night away.

She had been okay with that. More than okay. Actually, just being with her family, her mom, dad, and Tai had just felt complete. It had been wonderful and functional, and she had missed it so much. How had she let herself drift so far?

But if she was getting into the how's, she'd probably never stop. The why's were even worse. She tried to refrain from asking herself questions. So instead of delving into uncomfortable territory, she approached her book shelf and began looking at all the spines.

There were some classic literature novels, some embarrassing chick-lit, some sci-fi, some best-sellers, and so on and so on. Her book collection had slowly grown every since she was about twelve, coming together through gifts and garage sales and various bookstores. She liked to read, she did.

Her fingers grazed over one the thicker spines, and she immediately grabbed it and gently pulled it out if it's spot. One of her old photo albums.

"Geez," she said, exhaling slowly, making her way to her desk chair as she began to open the book.

_God_, _it's going to be filled with tons of old pictures which is just going to send me into this great mental rant, isn't it_?

But instead, it was dozens of pictures of just around Tokyo. She'd taken these all through last year, she remembered now. God, she'd been so passionate about photography. And yet, she hadn't taken a single picture in months. Suddenly everything became about school, and getting into a good pre-med program in a good university, about this and that that she hadn't even had time to enjoy one of her favourite pastimes! Her camera was tucked away at the top of her closet. Following her feet, she reached toward the top of the closet with minimal effort (long legs had their uses) and grabbed the large case that held it in their. She pulled it out gingerly, the large, professional camera that she had gotten for her seventeenth birthday almost a year ago. Her eighteenth birthday wasn't until September.

She turned it on, popped off the lens cap and aimed the camera at her unmade bed.

_C__lick!_And even though it was just this stupid, unimportant picture, it felt so nice to take one again that she didn't even mind.

Click. Click. She took two more of various things around her room.

And then just as she was about to take picture number four, her alarm clock went off, making her almost drop her camera. Thankfully, she held onto it.

She groaned. So, it was time to officially be awake now. Somehow, the buzz of the alarm clock had her suddenly feeling lethargic, despite how awake she was moments ago. Maybe it was just a built-in reaction to her alarm. She went over and shut it off, and then with a long look at her camera and a small smile, she tucked the camera back into it's case and went to go take a shower.

* * *

"We freakin' graduate tomorrow," Suki almost squealed, holding onto Kari's arm with a deathly strong grip as she took in her surroundings. "Are you even comprehending that, Kari?! We graduate tomorrow! We just attended our last math class. And this might be our last time seeing that kid, or noticing that picture or … oh my God, we're going to be adults. And … soon. Kari!"

Kari was equally amazed, although a bit less vocal. "I know," she said quietly, looking around at the busy halls. Everyone was getting everyone else to sign their yearbook. Kari had already signed several.

On Suki's, she had written: _Suki, you've been there for me so much this year. What would I do without you? You're my best friend in the world, keep me sane when I'm going crazy and get me going crazy when I'm too tame. High school would have just been an absolute bore without you. We'll be friends forever, okay? I don't care how mega successful and awesome you get - you'll make time for me! And I will, of course, do the same. Love love love you, Kari_

On Davis's, she had written: _Davis, Davis, Davis. You sure make my life interesting. I'll miss you so much! Lets pledge to talk often, okay? Good luck out there. You deserve everything you want. You know, within reason : ) Love, Kari_

TK hadn't asked her to sign his, which was probably for the best. She probably would have filled up the entire year book with endless apologies that he most likely did not want to hear. The perpetual guilt she felt every time she thought of him never seemed to lessen.

"Kari! Suki! What's up?"

Kari whipped her head around to see Davis, yearbook in tow, coming rapidly around a corner and trying to catch up to them. She grinned, nudged Suki and they slowed down their pace until he caught up.

"What's up, guys? You signed my yearbook, right?" He looked impossibly eager.

Suki rolled her eyes. "Davis, for the third time, yes I signed it."

"You don't have to get huffy, woman. It was just a simple question. And it is incredibly important that you signed it, considering you were my grad escort and all."

"I don't see how the two relate--" Suki started.

"It matters!" He cut her off.

Kari had to grin. "At ease, guys. How did you survive through prom without tearing each other's heads off?"

"A tux seemed to make Davis a lot less douche baggy," Suki explained.

"While being in a very tight dress made her so much more bearable," he added.

"It wasn't that tight!"

"It was tight enough."

"Douchebag."

Kari laughed, the sound spilling over Davis's huffing. "But you guys had fun?"

"Somehow, yeah we managed it," Suki admitted it. "He picked me up, had a corsage that was only a little smushed … I was actually highly impressed."

"Never underestimate a Motomiya. Especially not my sister, because occasionally she's psycho. Hey, Lara! Have you signed my yearbook?"

When Davis bounded off, Kari grinned at her friend. "I don't think I've ever met two people who bicker at each other as much as you do."

"We have a gift. But it's all fun - Davis is actually pretty awesome."

"He is," Kari agreed, and then skipped a beat, suddenly suspicious. "Suki?"

"Yeah?"

"You don't … like him… do you?"

Suki shot her a sheepish grin. "Well. Maybe. We've known each other so long, and I think … I've always sort of ignored what's in front of me." She let out a sigh of anguish. "I can't help it, Kari! Suddenly, I see him all _different_ and stuff!"

Kari's jaw dropped. "Oh my God! Are you serious? That's great, but--"

Suki burst out into snickers. "Oh, God no I'm not serious. I mean, he is pretty awesome but that is the extent. He's pretty much just like another brother in my massively ginormous family. It's just not squicky to think he looks good in a tux."

Kari nudged Suki. Hard. "Why would you do that to me? I thought you were serious!"

Suki shrugged. "Because it was funny and I'm an asshole … ahh, Kari, I will miss your gullible self when we're out being independent and excellent. "

"I will miss your lying, deceiving self! Lucky for you." She draped an arm around Suki and pulled her into a half hug, when Davis came back. Apparently, he had gotten Lara to sign it, judging by his triumphant expression.

"So, I pretty much got like, everyone." He shrugged and looked around. "Minus a couple people like -- TK!"

"I'm sure you'll see him around soon," Kari said as neutrally as possible. She wished the topic of TK would stop stinging from the inside out.

"Like now." Suki gave Kari a hard nudge, much harder than the one that Kari gave her before. It actually made her wince and straighten up. And then gape slightly … as TK seemed to be heading their way.

She was just so not mentally prepared for this. No way this could go well. No way. She wanted to curl up somewhere and die. No, not die. Die was too dramatic. She wanted to shrink enough so she could run away undetected or maybe hide in someone's pocket and be shielded from the inevitable humiliation.

"Hey, Davis. Hey, Suki."

Kari braced herself for the snub. The charm bracelet on her wrist seemed like the most awesome thing in the world at the moment. If he could just commence ignoring her, and then move on then she could stop feeling like the most pathetic human being in the world.

"Hey, Kari. How's it going?"

She stopped. He actually … She was so incredibly stunned that it took her upside a moment to respond. Finally, she managed words.

"It's going excellent." Which was a) not even remotely true and b) more enthusiastic than the situation required. Why was she so incapable of saying anything normal or appropriate?

But still, he smiled crookedly. "Cool."

He was being so peaceful and kind that it made her feel like a horrible person for assuming that he could be anything else. Or she would have felt horrible if self deprecation was still something she practiced. But it wasn't. Really.

But he wasn't a saint. He looked down, she noticed, and then around. And then began cracking his knuckles, which she knew from years of dating and even more years of friendship, that it was a nervous habit. And then he looked up at her, and the world became just the two of them. He held her eyes, and stared and despite the smile, despite the kind words, she could tell. She could tell that he was still angry, and disgusted, and she could tell that it was taking a lot of effort to be even neutral toward her.

And yet … the fact that he was putting in the effort, to spare her the public humiliation … it counted for a lot.

"Well. See you."

Kari nodded, and waved. "See you."

She could feel the relief coming off him in waves as he walked away. It matched her own.

* * *

"I can't believe you are making me do this," Kari muttered as she laid herself down beside Mimi. They were at a spa about to get their eyebrows waxed … per Mimi's suggestion, of course.

"Kari, I'm not about to let your graduate with your eyebrows unruly. Seriously!" Mimi told her, in that perpetual chirp of hers.

"What do we want to do with them?" the waxing lady asked Kari nicely, poised beside an intimidating looking pot. Kari shrugged helplessly. What could you do with eyebrows?! Raise them, wrinkle them … wax them, apparently.

"She needs more of an arch in her eyebrows," Mimi decided for her. "Not too much, we don't want her looking confused or anything." The lady doing Mimi's eyebrows chuckled; Kari slunk down further. "And just clean them up a bit. Kind of like how mine look, but probably not as thin as them…"

This meant absolutely nothing to Kari. Actually, that was a lie. When the wax was applied, so hot and sticky, and then promptly ripped off, taking masses of hair with it, it definitely meant something. It meant a very painful something. She cursed under her breath and bit down on her lip. Her eyes welled up without her permission.

But the torture didn't last forever. A quick couple minutes later, it was done. And so was Mimi, who had managed to go through the ordeal not only without muffled sounds of pain, but talking to her lady all nonchalantly as if hair wasn't so rudely being torn from her body! Her forehead felt like it was on fire, although the lotion the lady put on helped.

"What do you think?" the lady asked, holding up a mirror. Kari sucked in her breath … yeah, it looked nice. Made her look more feminine. Prettier, somehow.

And yet -- "They're so red! I mean… it's a nice job, don't get me wrong." Ever the gracious one. "They look very beautiful," she continued. "But I look like my eyebrows got sunburn."

After the two got up and paid, Kari was still obsessing over it. "The red is honestly not fading."

"It'll fade by tomorrow," Mimi assured her.

"Oh," Kari said, relieved.

"…For the most part."

"Mimi!"

"What? No one is even going to notice," Mimi said flippantly, squinting at Kari's eyebrows and then smiling triumphantly. "They look fabulous."

Kari ignored the compliment. "If no one is going to notice, why did I get them done in the first place?" she complained.

"Like I said, you can't have unruly eyebrows on your graduation! It's like having unshaved legs on your birthday. A no-no. On special occasions, you want to look and feel your best. It's not like I'm taking you to the place I get a bikini wax--"

"Please stop," Kari begged. Mimi had a tendancy to dip into TMI category. It was occasionally scarring.

"Okay, okay! But really, you do look amazing. A certain tall, older blonde boy is going to eat his heart out."

Kari knew Mimi was just trying to be nice, but she felt the same sting she felt when the subject of Matt was brought up. She smiled unevenly. "If he's even there," she muttered.

"TK is graduating," Mimi reminded her, hitting the unlock button on her car remote as they neared the flashy sports car. "He'll be there."

"Right," Kari remembered, flushing at the stupid moment. Because the world did not revolve around her. "But we are over. Done. Matt made it perfectly clear that he couldn't care less."

"It's not true!" The hopeless romantic in Mimi hoped for the best.

"Believe it." Kari suppressed a sigh. "I'm trying not to do the wallowing thing … I'm graduating tomorrow. And soon Matt won't be a part of my life at all. And my life will probably be better for it." After she stopped missing him all the freaking time.

"I guess," Mimi said with a sigh as they slid into her car. "I just don't get it. You two were so perfect." She paused. "Well, maybe not perfect but you think after all that trouble…" She shook her head. "I've tried to talk to him about it, but he just clams up. Sora has better luck, but not by much. Although we occasionally get drunk and speculate. Well, I get drunk and Sora gets more hyper on energy drinks than anything because a drunk Sora is a very butch Sora which is incredibly uncool."

Kari giggled as she tried to imagine, but sobered quickly. "You've tried to talk to him … but he won't say anything?" she ventured, trying to sound nonchalant but she knew she was failing horribly.

"Yep," Mimi confirmed. "You know him. So quiet and broody and self contained. Jack ass. I'm so glad Tai is loud and obnoxious. It makes my life so much easier."

Kari giggled again. "Well, I appreciate you trying to talk to him. But it's a lost cause. And that's fine, really." She shook her head. "I'll be okay."

"You sure?" Mimi was all fun and games most of the time, but she was concerned too. It showed in the look she gave Kari, the one that was almost … motherly.

"I'm sure," Kari assured her. "I'm not broken. Little cracked maybe but …time will do its thing." She smiled.

"That's the spirit!" Mimi cheered.

Mimi's perpetual cheerfulness was something she had always taken for granted. But right now, she appreciated it as fully as anyone could.

* * *

"Bye, Mom!" TK said, giving his mom a hug before she left to go back to her car and hotel room. She had come up for graduation and she had picked him up from school so the two of them could eat ice cream. And talk. Talk about plans, and what would be happening. Making arrangements. It had been hours, but it felt like … minutes.

Time, TK realized, was a slippery little thing.

It descended slowly, slowly -- and then without a backward glance, it would just slide right out from under you. And then sometimes it drag. Boy, did it ever. Sometimes it stood still. And then it would move way too rapidly. It was slippery.

One day, he was on the top of the world. A great brother, a great girlfriend. The next day, no girlfriend and as far as she was concerned, no brother.

Well, no. That was a lie. He still considered Matt his brother. It sounded really hardcore and justified to insist otherwise, but it wasn't true. Matt had doublecrossed him, yeah, but Matt was still his brother. That was the crappiest part.

But he was moving on. He was graduating. Man, he couldn't believe he was graduating. The feeling of incredulity had hit him at Prom too, although it hadn't been quite as prominent as it was now. It was easy for the worry to melt away at Prom, because it was a genuinely good time. Not the all American golden event where dreams came true, not even what he had originally envisioned, but it was fun anyways. Ally had sort of asked him to ask her. ("Say, Teeks." She had dropped the 'Teeky' at some point, something that he was endlessly thankful for. She smiled pretty and then continued, "Do you want to ask me to grad?") TK was a decent guy, so although he knew Ally wasn't the sweetest person in the world, he agreed. Besides, Ally had always been nice to him. And lately, it was for real. Apparently around the same time she dropped 'Teeky' she also lost her sugary sweet voice that always seemed to ooze fake sincerity.

Ally had become less of a doll, and more of a human and the two of them had a blast at prom. Suki had given him all sorts of weird looks but by the end of the night, even Suki and Ally, bitter enemies, were making conversation. He felt accomplished, although he hadn't actually done anything.

Ally had been voted Prom Queen (sure, she had manipulated and intimidated most of the senior class but apparently that made for votes) and the title of King had been bestowed upon a guy that used to be on TK's basketball team, and was in involved with practically everything. When Roger (that was the newly titled Prom king's name) and Ally went to do their customary dance, TK hung back with Davis and Suki and realized that he was having a pretty good time. Kari's absence hadn't killed prom for him. And then with that realization, came _another_ realization -- that he could go on without her, and it didn't have to hurt all the time. That knowledge made it possible to be civil to Kari. Not easy, and certainly not enjoyable, but possible. And that was the important part.

But he could not be civil to Matt. Because Matt was his brother, his flesh and blood, and he had stabbed him in the back. And that he couldn't tolerate.

But it wouldn't matter soon anyway.

* * *

Kari was exceedingly glad to get home after her day. It had been a decent day, just exhausting. Saying goodbye to everyone at school was weary, and it was upsetting, and it made her want to cry. Getting her eyebrows waxed actually did make her cry. And now, finally, she could just … chill for a bit before the ceremony tomorrow. Kari was a girl who tended to keep busy, but even she needed her downtime. It was nine thirty already. After waxing with Mimi, she went out for dinner with Suki and the two of them endlessly gabbed about their year, about the coming year, about everything and everything. Except, thankfully, for Matt.

She came into the house quietly. The lights were dark, and her parents probably went to bed early because they, like her, would be getting up early. And also parents just went to bed early apparently. She went toward the living room, dodging a soccer ball Tai had left laying around, and without a second thought, flung herself toward the couch. Good couch. Seen her through a lot. Same couch that had housed some of her best naps. Same couch that she had cried and sobbed and cheered on while watching girly chick flicks that loved, despite what anyone said. The same couch her and Matt had once made out on and -- she stopped. The urge to move flared, but she fought it. She had sat on this couch before after that experience. Big deal. Why did it matter now? Just because she was graduating tomorrow? It's not like that changed everything ever. She couldn't become one of those sad, pathetic girls who proclaimed everything their ex-boyfriend touched dead to them. It was just a couch! A perfectly good couch! And she freaking loved it!

She sunk it stubbornly, almost unwilling to believe that she literally had just contemplated that couch for about a minute.

Awkwardly she sat for a moment.

Damn it.

She was just about to get up and hole herself up in her room because why even bother anymore, when her mom came and sat down beside her. And smiled.

"Hey, honey."

Kari was incredibly relieved to have the distraction. "Hey, mom. I thought you were sleeping. Did I wake you up?"

Mrs. Kamiya shook her head. "Oh, no not at all. I was awake before. Your dad is asleep, but I'm feeling … restless, I guess."

Kari definitely knew how that went. "I can relate."

"Well, of course. Graduation day tomorrow! Big day. I bet you're excited."

The appropriate answer to this would be yes. She could please her mom and it would be really very easy. No real answer required. She swallowed, prepared, and then felt an unexpected wave of guilt. Of course guilt. She was always guilty. Always felt it, had felt it since that first kiss with Matt and maybe even before then. And it was ridiculous. She needed to take back her life. She needed to be honest, at the very freaking least.

"Sort of." That was her grand answer. Well, at least it didn't provoke any guilt. She wished she had more eloquent words, more poignant and important, but alas.

"Oh." Apparently, her mother had expected more.

"I mean -- yes. No. Yes." She breathed out. "It's hard, mom."

That surprised her mom a bit. "Hard?"

"Yeah, hard." She didn't know where to go from there. She hadn't had a real conversation with her mom in so long that she had forgotten how. Good daughter she was.

"Because you're graduating … or because of everything to do with Matt and TK?"

It was Kari's turn to be surprised. She knew her parents knew, vaguely, what had happened, but they'd never confronted her about it. She felt breathless and nervous and once again, she felt guilty. She almost got up, but she stayed sitting.

_Be honest_, she reminded herself. Another day, she would have avoided a confrontation like this. In fact, she basically had before. She'd see her mom zero in on her, and she'd bolt. She was truly awful. Nimbly, she nodded and tried to find her voice. "Yeah. That'd be it…" she faded off, and then found her voice again. "First time you ever mentioned that."

Her mom smiled sadly. "I didn't think you wanted me to."

Kari's newly waxed eyebrows rose. "Well. I don't know." They slunk back down. "I didn't want you to … yell at me. To tell me how stupid I was being. I didn't really want to hear it." It was so hard to say this to her mom of all people. Her mom had always viewed her as virtuous and sweet, just like everyone else, and Kari didn't know how to deal with a dynamic where she had done bad, and her mom was judging her for it. She felt sick. "I know I deserved it." She bit her lip, hard. "But …"

"Kari, sweetie…" Her mom's arms draped around her shoulder. It was so warm and loving, and Kari could barely stand it. She inched away like she'd been burned.

"You guys should have yelled at me. Talked some sense into me, something. I was being horrible and stupid, and I'm trying to be better but… I'm sorry. I'm just -- I'm sorry. I'm trying to do the best I can, but it's not good enough. I'm just … a horrible, horrible person."

"It _is_ good enough," Mrs Kamiya argued. "Honey, you are doing your best. You're human. You make mistakes. And then you try to fix them. That's just how it works."

"But I hurt people!" she burst out passionately. "The people I care about! Don't you even care about that? That your sweet doting daughter basically ruined everyone's life?"

Mrs. Kamiya looked stricken at that emission. "It happens, Kari. People get hurt. But it's not the end of the world. Was it uncharacteristic of you to go to Matt after so many years with TK? Yes. Was it a surprise? Yeah. Was it a little reckless? Absolutely. But it does _not_ make you a horrible person." Her voice softened. "Please believe that, sweetheart."

Kari could tears start to prick in her eyes. "I wanted to come to you, I did. But everything I did was so bad, I just felt … guilty all the time. I can remember not feeling like that. And I couldn't take you thinking that too."

Mrs. Kamiya leaned close to Kari to hug her again, and this time Kari let her. "I could never."

They sat silently for moments. Kari was able to look her mom in the eye without feeling exponentially guilty for the first time in months. A clean slate. This was good. Except --

"Mom," Kari piped up, a little timidly.

"Yeah, hon?"

"A couple months ago, I said I was sleeping over at Suki's. But I went to a party instead. An after party for Matt's concert."

Her mom was silent for a moment, and then she nodded. "All things considering, I think I can let that go."

Relief flooded through her. "Love you, mom."

"Love you too."

She left out the time where she said she was sleeping over at Suki's and actually stayed the night with Matt at Mimi's. Because she wasn't a horrible person, and she had repented or whatever, and she did have a clean slate -- but she wasn't a saint.

Sleep came easy that night.

* * *

It was almost midnight and TK still wasn't sleeping. He'd regret that in the morning, that much he knew, but his lack of sleep wasn't for lack of trying. He had tried for a solid hour, and then decided to resign himself to a bag of chips.

Chips were good. Chips made him happy, and provided him an excellent late night snack. He made sure to be quiet so he wouldn't wake up his dad, or Matt. Especially not Matt. Not because he was concerned about disrupting Matt's sleep, but because he was more so concerned about having to actually talk to Matt. Because that was the person he was now.

But life didn't tend to work in his favour. Because about two minutes into his relationship with the chips, Matt came in and ruined it. Well, that was what he was good at, after all.

"I'm leaving," TK announced, not caring if it was rude or harsh. It was justified. He got up from the kitchen chair. It made a god awful screech against the tile. Both brothers winced.

"TK." Matt's voice was desperate.

"What?" TK's voice was harsh, and cold.

Matt swallowed. "Are you ever going to be able to … I don't know, look at me? Ever again?"

TK looked highly unimpressed. "Well, I'm looking at you now."

TK was so angry that it scared him. Matt knew he deserved every little drop of that anger, but still, it was odd. That his little brother, the one who was so bright and full of hope to be so full of anger, something Matt knew was so toxic … it was heartbreaking. And it was even shittier because it was 100% Matt's fault.

"You know what I mean," Matt said quietly. He should have just let it go, but he couldn't. TK was graduating tomorrow and he couldn't bear the thought of going there and having TK hate the ceremony simply because Matt's presence ruined it. Or maybe he was just selfish and wanted his brother to forgive him and although he'd been too chicken shit to confront him earlier, the desire to eat something had somehow lead him to TK and the absurdity came him the courage to finally give it a stab.

Yeah, probably that one.

"Are you for real?" TK asked incredulously. "You went for my ex-girlfriend! _Barely_ ex-girlfriend at that. And I'm supposed to be … what, forgiving?" His voice hardened. "Gracious?"

"No," Matt agreed and again he was just so deeply sorry, more than words could express. But he couldn't take it back and he wouldn't anyway. Kari and him had just been so completely right and while he may not have exactly done everything the way it happened, he wouldn't have erased it. He was just sorry that TK had gotten hurt, that it all had worked out that way. But he had had no way to prepare. One day Kari was just … whatever, his dorky little brother's little girlfriend, best friends kid sister. And then one day she was _Kari_, all beautiful and adorable and kissing him and … it'd happened so fast his emotions couldn't have really kept up, but happen it did. He was paying the price for it.

"You should want to kick my ass," Matt continued. "And yell at me. And you can." He shrugged. "But we have to live under the same roof, Takeru."

"Not any longer."

Matt felt himself freeze up. "Not any … longer?" he repeated, realization dawning upon him. "As in…"

"I'm moving," he confirmed. He did not look smug or happy or pained. Vaguely triumphant, maybe, largely expressionless and this scared Matt. "In about a week. I'm moving in with Mom."

Matt felt like he'd been punched. "All the way across Japan?"

"Yeah." TK nodded. "Get a job, some experience … get away from here." That had been what his mom and him were talking about over ice cream. TK had mentioned that he wanted to get away, and his mom had posed the option of living with her again. He could intern at the place she was starting work out, because they had spots open. And suddenly it seemed like a door was opening to him, one had never considered. He always knew he wanted to take a year off, and this was just the perfect way to spend it. He had quickly agreed. He had yet to tell his dad, but he knew he'd understand.

Matt winced at the last part.

"At her newspaper thing? Since when are you interested in newspapers and reporting?"

"I don't know, maybe it happened around the same time you got interested in my girlfriend?"

Matt deserved each and every blow, but It was hard to believe it was coming from TK's mouth. "TK, I never tried to--"

"No," TK cut him off. "You didn't try. But you did it. And I will never, ever get over it. It's not because of Kari. It's because of me. Because of what you did to me." And for a moment, TK's voice was not hard and cold. It was vulnerable, and it was TK's. Matt felt worse than he ever had. Or at least it was on the top of the list.

"Can I say I'm sorry?" Matt said wearily. He was tired. And hungry, but he was actively trying to ignore that. Sorry, he knew, would mean nothing.

"Go ahead. But I'm not listening. Don't bother coming tomorrow. I don't want you there."

It was a good exit line, and TK capitalized on this, storming off to his room. Matt stood there, utterly rejected, before deciding that was not how the conversation was ending. No fucking way.

He bolted to TK's room and knocked on the door. Once, twice, ten times impatiently. He wasn't worried about waking out their dad, because he generally slept like the dead after he got to a certain point in his sleep. Matt knew that after years of living with him. TK did not swing the door open, but Matt was unphased.

"I want you to listen," Matt said loudly against the door, knowing TK was listening against his will on the other side. "I am sorry. I am so fucking sorry for what I did to you and it _kills_ me. Okay? It kills me that I hurt you. And not just you. I hurt her too. I thought it'd be easier if we stopped, so I dumped her. And you know what? _It fucking sucks. _I know you are the last person in the world who wants to hear this but I'm telling you anyway. I didn't try for this to happen. I tried really fucking hard not to, actually. I haven't spoken to her in a month. You can hate me. You can hate her. But don't act like we purposely chose this."

Silence. Matt closed his eyes and sunk against the door. "TK."

He didn't know how long he stayed like that, but the door opened at some point. TK looked blank again. He said nothing.

Matt opened his eyes. "I'm coming tomorrow."

TK nodded.

Matt cracked his knuckles simply for something to do. He didn't even know what to say. Until he did. "I'm in love with her."

TK swallowed hard. "I know."

"And I'll stay away from her if you want me to. But I'm fucking miserable." He laughed mirthlessly. "I bet you're happy about that."

"Sometimes," TK admitted. "I try to be."

"And it's working?"

"Sometimes. Not always."

"Okay" Matt turned to retreat to his bedroom.

"Matt?"

Matt turned slowly. "What?"

"I don't want you miserable forever. Just for now. Just while I am." How the mighty have fallen.

"What are you saying?" he squinted in confusion.

"Do what you have to." TK squeezed his eyes shut. He could believe he was saying that. What was it, some kind of … very very vague blessing? Something like that. He didn't know. He was tired.

"Good night," Matt spoke up.

"Doubt it."

Neither of them slept fitfully.

* * *

"Hey! Sister! Kari! Kari, get up. You are graduating today!" Kari could vaguely make out Tai's voice, but it was too loud and too intrusive considering it felt like she had just gone to sleep.

"What time is it?" she finally managed, although it came out a croak. Seriously, hadn't she _just_ gone to sleep

"Morning," Tai answered vaguely.

And then he did something so crass, so unforgivable that she was appalled down to the _bone_.

He turned on the light.

Her eyes fluttered in shock and she flipped over so her eyes would be smushed into the pillow and protected from the light. "Why do you hate me?" she moaned.

"Wrong. I love you. Now get up and shower. Breakfast will be ready soon."

Kari stopped. And suddenly, she remembered. All of this, waking up early, making breakfast -- she'd done it for Tai years ago for his graduation.

She smiled into her pillow. And yawned. Graduation day had started with a bang.

* * *

True to his word, Matt had come to the ceremony. Him and TK had not spoken since the previous night, but it felt like there was a sort of … it just felt like tense. Kind of. Everything was still so unresolved with everyone he knew, but it felt right to be here. Watching all these bright young things (haha, he said that like he was sooo old) get ready for grad kind of made him feel like everything would be all right.

"This is so exciting," his mom remarked with a grin, smoothing her skirt down as she looked around. "I can't believe my little boy is graduating." She glanced over at her ex-husband, and amended her statement. "Our little boy."

"Ahhh, they're growing up so fast!" Mr. Ishida squeezed Matt's shoulders and Matt rolled his eyes lovingly while Ms. Takashi laughed politely.

The ex-couple were civil enough, polite in that almost over-bearing sort of way but they did their best. Matt could deal with it.

While peeking around, he spied the Kamiya's sitting in another section, all dressed up and glowing with pride. Their prodigal daughter was graduating and would undoubtedly go onto an amazing school. Of course they were proud.

His eyes fell to them again when the K's got their turn, in which almost immediately 'Hikari Kamiya' was called up. He smiled at their pride, at their cheerful bliss and warmth. They looked upon their daughter like she truly was light.

Matt finally stole a glance for himself. She looked pretty, even weighed down in that gown and under the hat. She was smiling brightly as she claimed her diploma. She was … basically the epitome of everything bright and awesome and wonderful. And she wasn't his. That thought hurt. It ebbed and throbbed and man, he hadn't really realized how much until just now. For a month, she'd been totally out of his life. She walked out of that apartment and far, far away from him.

He'd asked for it, though. After all, it didn't get much clearer than "you're wasting your time, because I don't love you." Did it now?

He continued to watch in quiet reverence for a moment. Kari, this brilliant, beautiful person that he had somehow totally fallen for. It still didn't make sense to him. He didn't do love. Girlfriends, yes. Sex, yes, and sweet Jesus, he hadn't had a good lay forfuckingever. But she was so much more than that. Love? _Love_? Really? It was terrifying as hell, but he did.

Not that it mattered.

She was off the stage now. The Kamiya's all sat down, their cheering and whooping subsiding. Matt smiled. Tai was all cleaned up, and that was amusing to see. They would have mocked each other for being decked out in dress pants, a nice shirt and a tie if you know, they weren't on terrible footing right now. The pure fury in Tai's voice and face was still clear in his mind.

And then Tai looked over and stared Matt straight in the eye. It was a not a look of anger or loathe. It was … Matt didn't know, really, but it didn't exactly radiate warmth.

Matt did not cower under the levity of his gaze. He kept it, until Tai broke eye contact.

Matt exhaled. That had been unbearably awkward. Awesome. He trained his eyes back toward the graduate, watching person after person in complete disinterest. _Man, graduation is so fucking lame_. So much for being exhilarated by the bright young things.

Finally, TK's name was called.

Matt smiled wide as his brother went across the stage. He stood up, along with his parents, and they all clapped loudly.

His little brother was graduating.

His little brother that was so good and caring.

His little brother that looked so much like him it was downright surreal sometimes.

His little brother who hadn't even _wanted_ him here (for admittedly good reason).

His little brother.

Matt was unspeakably proud.

When the ceremony was over (about a thousand freaking years later) there was a big swarm of people trying to get out of their seats and meet up with their graduating folk to congratulate them. Or just to plain get out of their seats. Matt was not exempt from this.

After a minute, he threw a glance backward and realized his parents were lost in the sea of people. Oops. He walked backwards for about another minute, seeing if he could spot them, but no dice. He grumbled.

He grumbled again when some random blonde bitch elbowed him out of the way and stepped on his foot with her massive heels.

"Sonofabitch," he cursed, glaring at the blonde chick as she ran off.

He heard a similar curse somewhere behind him. Was it possible that Hurricane Blonde had also hurt others? He turned to face behind him, grinning. "Did she just--"

He stopped. It was Tai who was rubbing his arm. Of course it was Tai. Because that was the way that the universe worked, apparently.

Well. He'd try, at any rate. "She really doesn't know how to work a crowd, huh?" Lame, lame, lame. But it was all Matt had,

"Maybe she's the smartest of us all. Every man for himself, or what not."

Tai was talking to him. It felt like Christmas. Was there something about graduation that just made everyone much more chill or something? He was starting to think so.

"Maybe," Matt muttered, trying to formulate intelligent words.

"What?!" The crowd was loud, and mutters were the first things to get lost.

"Nothing," Matt said, but he knew it wasn't loud enough. The crowd was getting louder. Once they reached the doors that lead to the outside, or diverged into hallways and rooms in the stadium (the actual high school was too small to hold the graduation, so the school always rented out an arena to host it). This was his first conversation with Tai since Tai had given him a black fat shiner. He should take advantage.

So he did. "Can we talk?" he yelled out, before the crowd could separate them for good.

Tai considered it very obviously, and then nodded. The two headed out the doors and kept walking til there wasn't a thousand million people around. Matt was pretty much sure his palms were sweating, which was just beyond ludicrous. This wasn't a date, seriously.

Matt realized he actually didn't know what to say. Tai looked at him expectantly. Maybe he'd break the ice with a joke! "So, you're not gonna punch me, right?"

Tai looked at him weirdly. Matt decided it would just be better for everyone if he stopped saying stuff.

"I don't know. Do I have a reason to?"

Matt frowned. Wow, this was a reassuring start to the conversation. "I'm sorry." That seemed to be a safe conversations starter lately.

"Yeah." And then, the unexpected. "Me too."

Matt's brow furrowed. "Why?"

Tai shrugged. "Punching you wasn't the nicest thing I'd ever done."

"You're a lot more chill about this," Matt said suspiciously.

"Oh, it still disgusts me to my bones."

Matt accepted that. "Gotcha."

"Know what disgusts me more?"

Did he want to know? Probably not. Nervously, he shifted in his spot, shoes scuffing the grass. "What?"

"The fact that my baby sister has been going around the last month trying to be all brave and strong, when really she's pretty much miserable. Because you broke up with her."

Matt could feel his stomach sink to the ground. "Tai, you don't understand--"

"What, were you trying to be noble or something?"

Matt frowned. "Well, it's like I did it for the novelty of being noble. I was genuinely trying to do the right thing."

"So crushing my sister's heart was the right thing to do?" The sarcasm in Tai's voice was nearly tangible.

"Apparently not," he muttered. "Well, what did you expect? TK hated me for it, you punched me for it. We kind of hit an all time low."

Tai looked impatient. "Matt, do you know why I was so pissed off beyond belief?" He didn't wait for an answer. "Because you snuck around behind my back for how long? Because you didn't tell me. Because it's my sister. And you know why I was so against it? Because I know you."

"I don't…" Matt's eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "You know me?"

"I know you," Tai repeated. "I know your history with girls. And that wasn't allowed to be Kari, some random fling. I didn't want you together because I knew it'd end up hurting her. And you did the exact thing I was scared of. You broke her heart."

Those words were like a punch to the gut. "I didn't mean to. I thought … it'd be better."

"Well, it's not," Tai said bluntly. "Yeah, I don't have to deal with the disgusting factor but I do have to deal with the fact that my baby sister looks like someone died half the time."

Matt tried to process all this information. "So is this … your form of a blessing?"

"No," Tai said firmly. Then he seemed to rethink that. "Maybe. Sort of. It's saying, make things right. I don't care how you do it. But I want you to fix what you broke in her. Apologize, claim mental retardation, but _fix _it, okay?"

Matt hoped he could. He really fucking hoped. "And if I fix her, you and me … that gonna be fixed too?"

Tai didn't know, to be honest. He wanted to forgive Matt, life was lonely and not as awesome without him, but it just seemed too easy to forgive him like that. "We'll see."

Matt could accept that.

* * *

Kari was happy. Really, and truly, she was happy. She was taking pictures with Davis, Suki and TK. Despite everything that happened, they were still the gang. They had been her survival through the past four years. And then she took pictures with her family and Mimi. She took pictures with everyone. Cap and gown, the pretty green dress underneath.

At some point, her and TK were alone. "I'm sorry," she said, while he said, "I'm leaving in a week."

He smiled, while her eyebrows went up. "Where to?"

He explained, and she elaborated on her apology, and they smiled. They were not repaired, not even close. There was too much history but for graduation's sake, they could pull it together for a day. And so they did. They were functional. They were not whole, but that was life. And Kari would take it. One day, it would be better. Or so she would choose to believe.

"I can't believe we did it," Suki said, pulling them all in for a group hug. "Seriously!"

"I can't believe I didn't fall asleep through that ridiculous ceremony," Davis yawned.

Suki whacked him, and Kari and TK grinned.

"Congrats to us," Kari cheered.

TK smiled. "Somehow, we made it."

* * *

It took about an hour and a half to get Kari alone. He was posing in pictures with TK and his mom and dad (slightly awkward but okay) and taking them, and hanging out. Kari was near the entire time, but they didn't speak two words to each other. It was literally torture. Seriously, Chinese water torture probably had nothing on this. Because not only was he forced to be in a million pictures, but he was forced around Kari in a situation that also involved Tai and TK. Sure, it was just pictures but still, it wasn't the best. And he needed to talk to her alone but that wasn't so much happened yet. So he waited til she seemed to be done, or taking a break or something. He waited, and when the moment arose that she strayed from the group, he followed He couldn't wait anymore. And so maybe this wasn't the best way to go about this about a month silence, he was gonna do it anyway.

She didn't notice him as she made her way outside in that gorgeous green dress that he could definitely appreciate. He wondered where she was going. He realized that wasn't really relevant.

He needed to speak up and call out to her and stop acting like a stalker. Okay, any time now. _Annnyyy time now_.

Except then Kari heard his feet shuffle. She turned, ever so slightly, and stopped dead in her tracks. Matt managed a weak smile. He needed to do this, while the words were on his brain and the adrenaline was still in his blood. _Go, go, go_.

He walked up to her ever so nonchalantly. She looked positively stricken.

"Hi," he greeted.

"Hi," she said back, sounding so impossibly sweet and lovely he couldn't remember for the life of him why he had ever, ever let go.

"Um. Congratulations."

She nodded. "Thank you."

"So," Matt said lamely, rubbing at his eyebrow with the back of his hand and then continuing, "I… saw you up there." _NO, REALLY? Jack ass. Get it together, Matt._Kari began to play with the bracelet on her wrist, moving the charms around and around her wrist, feeling them climb over the protruding bone in her wrist and then falling down and around. Nervous habit, couldn't break it. She nodded. "Well. Thanks?" It wasn't exactly a compliment, but she had no idea what else she could say.

Tai's words echoed in Matt's head. _You did the exact thing I was scared of. You broke her heart. _They propelled Matt to bite his lip, and then move a step forward. "You look … really great. Did I mention that?"

"Thanks," she said again, feeling hopeless and awkward. Over a month had passed and still, she felt the desire to just … be with him. It surpassed wanting to kiss him, and touch him. It had surpassed physical attraction, but had settled into emotional need. She couldn't have that. She couldn't need him. Not now.

"Sit with me?" he asked hopefully, gesturing toward the bench that was conveniently a few feet away from them.

She nodded. "Sure."

The two approached the bench and sat, and each were much more composed than they had been at their last meeting. No fits of laughter or embarrassing monologues. Just them.

And yet…

_You did the exact thing I was scared of. You broke her heart._

Matt spoke first. "I'm sorry," he said, quietly, seriously, and Kari knew he meant it. "I was … you know, kind a prick. You didn't deserve that."

His tone was sort of hesitant, as if he might go on, so Kari waited patiently for just that.

He did. "You asked me if you were wasting my time--"

Kari inhaled sharply.

"--And I said yes, because I didn't love you."

"Matt--"

"I guess you don't need a replay. But I love you. Okay? There it is. I thought that we should stay apart, so I thought it would be easier if you, I dunno, hated me or whatever. That's because I'm a dick."

"Matt, I--"

"I know, I know." He was on a roll. "Like, who the hell did I think I was? Peter Parker? But I've talked to Tai, I've talked to T.K. and now I'm talking to you. We can do this, Kari. We actually can. You told me we were worth it, remember? That you could bend, we could do this. And okay, yes, I'm kind of delayed but --"

"_Matt!_"

Matt's jaw dropped open slightly. "Sorry."

Kari could have laughed at how ironic this all was, if it wasn't also so painstaking. "We can't."

His eyes widened, his face dropped, and he looked no more than six years old in that moment. She ached. "But … we can."

Her lips turned up into a smile, but it was the saddest thing he'd ever seen. "We can't," she repeated. And then took a breath. "I'm going to Hokkaido."

He felt like the world was collapsing in on itself. "No."

She bowed her head down, and then managed to bring it back up. Embarrassingly enough, her eyes were teary. "Yes."

"But -- god, Kari, but we have to work this out. You can't run away from all this!"

"I'm not running," she said, slightly stung he would assume that. "It might seem that way, but it's not. I know I have issues to work through. And it'll happen. But I'm willing to wait. I need this. I need Hokkaido."

_But I need you_. "We're supposed to-- fix you." What was he even saying? He knew he was acting like a child, but he couldn't help it. How could Kari be leaving? She had to change her mind. She had to. "Kari, I want to be with you! We can't do it if you're that far away!" Too little, too late.

She looked down, telling herself to breathe evenly. "No, we can't."

"Is it because of me? Because I told you that I didn't want you?"

Kari shook her head, even though in truth, that had been part of it. "No. I need to do this for myself. I've always been Tai's sister, T.K.'s girlfriend, and now, with you… I just need to be. Kari. And figure out who I am, without everyone. I can't do that here. I love my mom. And Tai. And my friends." She bit her lip. "And I love you." She was teary again. Seriously, this was beyond ridiculous. "And moving will be hard… but I got to do it."

He kissed her. She didn't see it coming, but it was stunning. She kissed him back at some point, powerfully and deeply and she wanted to kiss him every second of every day for the rest of her life. A month without him, and a kiss erased all that. A kiss made her want to stay here with him. This very kiss could make her rethink her future and toss all that out, just so she could be with him. It was so powerful and all consuming that it scared her.

Finally, she pulled away. And then grinned, slightly, despite herself. "You have always had the worst timing."

"It's the Ishida charm. Screw everything up and try to fix it later. Sometimes it works … sometimes it doesn't."

They kissed again. They kissed for minutes, maybe even days or years, or at least that's what it felt like. They kissed, because they knew it'd be the last kiss they had for a very, very long time. And also they kissed because they felt like it. Because a month was a long time to go without kissing the person you were in love with.

"So does this mean you forgive me?"

There had been so much apologizing and making amends and forgiving in her life lately that she barely had to think twice. "Of course I do."

"I put you through a month of hell."

"Gave me perspective."

"You're being nice just so I don't feel bad."

She shook her head. "Am not." Except they both knew she was. And then she smiled, and stood up. "I have to go back in."

Matt kind of forgot about the rest of the world for a bit. "Where does everyone think you are?"

She shrugged. "I just told them I needed some air. We did the picture thing, they're probably all chowing down at the luncheon. So that's where I'm headed." She hesitated. "Are you coming?"

He shook his head. "I better not. Enjoy the time with your family and friends."

She wanted him there so badly but she knew it was probably for the best. "Okay. See you later?"

"Just try and keep me away."

* * *

Although Kari had graduated, the summer had been an educational one. She learned things, like that you could think your life was at rock bottom, but somehow it would recover. She learned that Mimi was a bridezilla in training and even picking china out was quite the battle with her. She learned that she was okay being Matt`s friend.

It was also a fun summer. Barbeques with the family, sometimes Mimi, with her dad cooking and her mom thankfully not. Bike rides with Suki, sometimes Davis. A couple pleasant letters to TK who had gotten settled across the country with his mom. Watching Matt rehearse with his band.

It was a sad summer too. There had been tears at Kari`s impromptu going-away party that Tai and Mimi had thrown. Everyone was there. Davis, who was staying in town, Suki who was going to a university not too far from home, Sora, everyone. Matt too. She hadn`t kissed him since graduation, knew there was no point. They could be together all summer, but it would have made it harder when she left. Friends was good for now. They managed it, somehow.

Her family had been there to see her off when she boarded the plane that would take her to Hokkaido. To her future. She didn`t know what it would hold. She truly had no idea. She didn`t know if it`d be a mistake, she didn`t know if she`d succeed, she didn`t know.

As the plane lifted up into the air, she looked out the window (which the old man beside her had graciously given her), took some pictures (her camera had come out from retirement) and watched Odaiba get smaller, smaller, smaller.

And for that moment, she felt free.

* * *

**Author's Note:** AND END. Actually, there's another chapter. It'll be set about a year later or so, and it'll be a long one. And it'll be the end one. So here is your opportunity to moan over the fact that this story is just never ending. Here's my obligatory promise that I will *try* to get the next one up soonish. Like, within the decade. Have faith in me guys. Have faith.

And review! I am dying to know what you guys think.

Don`t judge me too harshly if there is grammatical errors. I didn`t have a chance to edit, I was forced to peace out for a family dinner and wanted to get it up. Love you all!


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